WASHINGTON, DC, 01:47 PM, MON OCTOBER 13 | Advertise on Wonkette | tips@wonkette.com | SUBMIT A TIP | RSS

Posts Tagged ‘spitzmas’

Welcome To Washington’s Elite Mayflower Whoretel

Thursday, March 20th, 2008

Entertainers bring Mayflowers ....There are two iconic Washington hotels, swank palaces so famous that their very names have come to define the two main activities of our political elite: corruption and whoring. The first, of course, is the Watergate. The second is the Mayflower, which was named for the famous pimpette Sydney Biddle Barrows, the “Mayflower Madam.” It’s a little pricey even by D.C. lodging standards, so if you’re a regular there, you’re probably a regular user of $4,300 hookers — according to the liberal New York Times. MORE »


So Many Pictures Of Kristen/Ashley, Now That We Don’t Want To See Them

Wednesday, March 19th, 2008

Uhhh.Tired of Ashley Kristen Alexandra Dupre yet? Us too! But not US Magazine! The celebrity weekly has about a thousand pictures of Eliot Spitzer’s allegedly high-class hooker, and they’re all about as bad as this one, and we think the official title of this set is “The Official Seal of the Great State of New Jersey.” Remember that picture of a pretty young Ashley/Kristen in a bikini on a yacht? That was apparently taken in 1978. [US Magazine]


Friday, March 14th, 2008

I am fucking insane.LARRY KING IS STILL INSANE: The excitable senior covers Kristen-Ashley by jabbering, “How does the escort feel, Kathleen? And, apparently, it’s going to get, if the term is right, more huge.” [Extreme Mortman]


Larry Flynt Offers Ashley Alexandra Dupre $1 Million For Nude Shoot

Friday, March 14th, 2008

According to a press release, Hustler publisher Larry Flynt has made the first big move in the Penthouse-Hustler bidding war for Ashley Alexandra Dupre’s nudie shots — $1 million dollars. “We think this is an item that is going to stay in the news for some time,” Flynt said. “We think it’s not bad for a 22-year-old to make $1 million for a few hours work. It beats what she was making at the escort service.” Ashley should take this. Take it! Takey takey takey take! Think of all the rent checks this could pay! But remember to save some for taxes, because you will have to pay those now.


Kristen-Ashley, Tattooed N.J. Hip-Hop Hooker, Is Milking It For All She’s Worth

Friday, March 14th, 2008

Jersey Slut
As expected by everyone, Ashley Alexander Kristen Dupre has already done a mostly-naked photo shoot, for the NEW YORK POST, which seriously has like a dozen EXCLUSIVE pics of the superstar hooker. (UPDATE: No, the Post just bought one-day rights to some pictures she posed for last year.) And, well, we are sort of losing our sympathy for this not-so-delicate flower of the night. MORE »


Thursday, March 13th, 2008

THIS SPITZER MUSICAL IS HA-HA FUNNY: Are the three days of Spitzmas coming to a close? Le sigh. Perhaps we finally must start paying attention to the congressional district map in Pennsylvania. But, but first, here’s a funny thing someone did about Eliot Spitzer again! The New Yorker’s Ben Greenman wrote a musical-in-one-act about the affair for McSweeney’s, and it is a delight. [McSweeney's]


But, But, How Should Republicans Resign As New York Governor?

Thursday, March 13th, 2008

Brriiinngg yip yip yipEliot Spitzer pissed off pretty much everyone in the world. This was Good For Society when he was going after evil rich people on Wall Street, but it wasn’t so noble when he was using the cops to harass his political opponents or infuriating his fellow Democratic legislators in Albany. This is why nobody ran to his defense as Spitzer huddled in his sinister, cavernous Manhattan lair waiting for somebody to tell him it’s okay to keep being governor. But there is one segment of society that is boldly standing up for Spitzer’s right to get caught in a federal money-laundering sting because he had to spend so much on prostitutes even though he “made his reputation” by busting prostitution businesses in New York. MORE »


Quick Quick, Exploit Spitzer Before Time Runs Out!

Wednesday, March 12th, 2008

From Marketing Magazine: “To promote its dedication to a more personalized approach to customer care, Virgin will run a full-page ad this week in Metro and 24 commuter dailies in Toronto featuring the now-former Governor Spitzer with a thought bubble above his head that reads: ‘I’m tired of being treated like a number.’” Aww, daddy’s had enough of the strap-on? [Marketing Mag via Dealbreaker]


Eliot Spitzer’s Blurry-Faced $4,300 Prostitute

Wednesday, March 12th, 2008

It's no capital crime.
Is this ex-governor Eliot’s very expensive lady friend? Maybe! The New York Post claims this is her old website page. We’ve already dug up a whole bunch of Emperor’s VIP Sexy Club website stuff, but this is the first we’ve seen of the alleged Ms. Kristen, if that is her real name. She seems like a very pretty, classy sex-worker girl but it is a shame how she lost her nipples and any visible features of her face during a tragic gourmet-dining accident. [PAGE SIX]


So What Are The Differences Between Spitzer’s $4,300 Hooker And Common Street Whores?

Wednesday, March 12th, 2008

She's putting a gerbil up his ass.Confused by Eliot Spitzer’s need for a super-premium $4,300 hooker? The Washington Post assigned two (2) staff writers to investigate the differences a wealthy man such as the whore addict Eliot Spitzer might notice between, say, a $4,300 fancy New York courtesan and a $30 crack whore in D.C. The differences may surprise you! MORE »


No Fun At The Spitzer Residence

Tuesday, March 11th, 2008

Briinngggg yip yip yip yipEliot Spitzer’s in one room, crying over his ruined career and life and whatever, while his wife “Silda Wall” is on the other side of mansion-apartment with her lawyers. “She doesn’t want to look at him, and he doesn’t want to bear the look that she gives when she does look at him,” a secret insider tells the New York Sun. What, she doesn’t want to look at Mr. Whore-Lovin’ Hypocrite Muppet Mouth? But he’s so cute. [New York Sun]


Spitzer’s Whore-Using Alias Actually His Friend’s Name

Tuesday, March 11th, 2008

Ooohhhh Brrrnnggg Brrnnnnggg yip yip yip yip yipWasn’t Eliot Spitzer supposed to be smart? No, he’s a moron. And also a creep. When he needed an “alias” for his whoring, he just used the name of his real-life close friend and supporter, George Fox. The real George Fox “has known Governor Spitzer for more than 20 years and has been a supporter during the Governor’s various political campaigns.” It wasn’t enough to shame his wife and family — Creepy Eliot needed to humiliate his friends and supporters, too. MORE »


ELIOT SPITZER TO MAYBE RESIGN AGAIN

Tuesday, March 11th, 2008

According to the latest NY Times piece of hero-journalism: “Top aides to Gov. Eliot Spitzer said Tuesday morning that they expect the governor to resign his office, although the timing of the resignation remains uncertain. Lt. Gov. David A. Paterson and his staff have begun laying the groundwork for him to take over as governor and are reaching out to members of the Legislature, the aides said.” But does this Paterson galoot have an account set up with Emperor’s Club VIP yet, and how many Whore Diamonds can he afford? THESE ARE THE QUESTIONS that the “members of the Legislature” want to know. [NYT]