Spike Lee is, according to Bill O’Reilly, a tiny tiny little man who set up O’Reilly with the porniest line ever — “You find any weapons of mass destruction in here?” — and instead of whipping out his massive loofah and saying “Yeah … IN MY PANTS,” O’Reilly just laughed. Lame. [YouTube]

We were all jealous of Wonkette videographer Liz Glover after seeing this Polaroid she took with America’s beautiful boy, Mitt “Willard” Romney. That is one tasty-lookin’ fraud salad! Liz claims that they never hooked up, but she doesn’t realize that in Mormonism, a handshake is considered third base. Also: Liz — like most people who, in some fashion, have worked for Gawker Media in the past — has been doing some work for the Radar blog, so help a sister out and watch this interview she did with Spike Lee in Denver. [Radar]

Here is what fun filmmaker Spike Lee says about the Clintons: “The Clintons, man, they would lie on a stack of Bibles. Snipers? That’s not misspeaking; that’s some pure bullshit. I voted for Clinton twice, but that’s over with. These old black politicians say, ‘Ooh, Massuh Clinton was good to us, massuh hired a lot of us, massuh was good!’ Hoo! Charlie Rangel, David Dinkins–they have to understand this is a new day. People ain’t feelin’ that stuff. It’s like a tide, and the people who get in the way are just gonna get swept out into the ocean.” Why hasn’t Al Gore thrown Tom Daschle under the bus yet? [New York Magazine]

• Heard on the Hill: Tom DeLay leaves campaign voicemails on behalf of Mark Ellmore. He says that as Majority Leader, he “battled Jim Moran in Congress for 14 years,” and “recently re-registered to vote in Northern California.” [Roll Call]

• Rush & Molloy: George Soros “downright courtly toward the Bushies” at Monday’s party for his book “The Age of Fallibility.” [NYDN]
• Page Six: Spike Lee and Ground Zero memorial architect Michael Arad will talk tonight as part of a campaign against political apathy. The campaign begs to be ignored with the title: “Generation Engage.” [NYP]
• FOX411: FOX411 reports that Michael Jackson hopes to profit from 9/11 charity CD. While you’re at the FOX site, visit their Michael Jackson Celebrity Center. [Fox]

• Page Six: Ted Koppel may ink multi-million dollar deal with HBO when he leaves “Nightline”. . . Rush Limbaugh defines himself as an ubersexual. [NYP, NYP]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Chuck Todd apologizes to Richard Bradley after The Hotline repeatedly referenced him as “Ex-Dick Blow.”. . . Juanita Broaddrick, Kathleen Willey will visit the Clinton Library for publicity. [NYDN]
• Inside Politics: Spike Lee says the government may have destroyed the levee in New Orleans to “displace al the black people.”. . . Rick Santorum, Hillary Clinton use U2 concerts to raise money; the band complains. [WT]