Tag: spies

White Nationalist Dude Pretty Sure Evan McMullin Is Secret Gay Homosexual Spy

A robocall going out to Utah voters says independent candidate Evan McMullin has two lesbians for mommies and likes men in the sexual way!
He likes that song about the Secret Asian Man, though

Donald Trump Doesn’t Trust American Intelligence Agencies, May Just Go With KGB Instead

Donald Trump doesn't have a very high opinion of American intelligence. That seems ungrateful to the people who won him the nomination.
Go nuts

Fox News Sent A Spy Lady Out On Dates With Reporters, Like An Old-Timey Honeypot

Gross old Roger Ailes ran a dating service, only it was actually more like a spy ring. Our lack of surprise is palpable.
Go nuts

Here Are Your Missing 28 Pages Of The 9/11 Report, Truthers, You’re Welcome To Them

Are you a person who can do the critical thinking? Do you prefer evidence to supposition when forming conclusions? Well, then, congratulations to you, smarty-pants, YOU do not have to read the 28 pages held back from the 9/11...
Go see it, it's good!

U.S., Russia Engage In Cold War Cosplay, Tears For Fears Reunion Next

Unlike many fanbois of a certain age, we are not opposed to Hollywood show biz remaking stuff we liked from back when we had a narrow waist and somewhat more/better hair. Lady Ghostbusters, sure! An actual transsexual Dr. Frank-N-Furter, why not? But certain...
At least this time it wasn't in a bag on fire

Russian Spies Pooped On U.S. Diplomat’s Carpet, Which Really Tied The Room Together Man

International relations took a gross turn this week: the Washington Post's Josh Rogin reports on a Russian campaign of harassment and intimidation against American diplomats in Moscow and eastern Europe. There's some pretty scary shit going on, from the...
He's a very talented guy; he'll be able to pull it off.

James O’Keefe’s Shoddy George Soros Spywork Even Lamer Than We’d Imagined

With James O'Keefe's botched attempt to infiltrate George Soros's Open Society Foundations, we learn (again) just what a shoddy amateur spy he is.

James O’Keefe Steps On Own Dick, Declares Flawless Victory Over George Soros

James O'Keefe, the master of fake scandals, has an exciting new failed investigation into what he claims are billionaire George Soros's efforts to undermine democracy. No evidence at all, but some very shocking accusations!

This May Be Michele Bachmann’s Worst Stunt Yet

Ugh, a Bachmann story that we'd like to ignore if it was just another stupid gaffey line about nothing, but this really seals it: she needs to be in a mental institution, which we mean 100% seriously and with...

Quitter Bachmann Withdraws Swiss Citizenship (To Work Undercover)

We've seen this ruse before, Bachmann. You think no one would suspect it, then you get caught, and now you're all, "Oh, I'm done being Swiss." She only loves "America" now. We're not buying it, SPY. This continues to...

Chuck Grassley’s Got This Whole Secret Service Problem Covered, You Guys

Oh dear, Sen. Chuck Grassley snuck out the window again after lights-out, and now he's leading inquiries into the Secret Service sex scandal. Whatcha got so far, inspector? "Sen. Charles Grassley (R-Iowa) said the Colombia prostitutes at the center...

Wonkette Endorsements: This Swashbuckling GOP Lunatic Spy

Who's the man who offered to help get Khadafi out of Libya for a cool $10 mill? Neil Livingstone! Who's the cat on a yacht full of pussy-for-hire? Neil Livingstone! Who fled from Argentine Nazis, ate borscht with Russian...

U.S. Scaling Down To Just 8,000 ‘Diplomats’ In Iraq Forever

One reason Americans were denied the cleansing vision of the last U.S. diplomats fleeing Baghdad by helicopter is because, haha, we sort of left the diplomats there -- all 16,000 State Department personnel and military contractors and poorly disguised...

Michele Bachmann Reminds America of Its Soviet Troubles

At this point, we have started to really wonder if Michele Bachmann is just a demented lunatic who flunked 6th grade American History, or if she is actually living in some sort of alternate universe/time continuum. If it is...

SUPER SHOCKER: American Killer In Pakistan Works For CIA

The American assassin held in Pakistan for shooting two people dead on the street was not just a random guy who wandered off his AARP tour bus, but in fact is a soldier of fortune employed by the CIA...

Superspy Christine O’Donnell Knows China’s Plans To Invade USA

Espionage heroine Christine O'Donnell took a break from dabbling in witchcraft and eating meatballs and not masturbating to get some super secret classified data from China! And what has she learned from analyzing these documents from Beijing? The Heathen...