spending
General Services Administration head Martha Johnson and two cohorts resigned or were butt-kicked out the door Monday over some really hilarious spending habits of Our Money! What is a General Services Administration? Ms. Johnson might not have even known! No, but, well, the GSA is the “landlord” of the government, explains the news, and so [...]
The New York Times created its own little Lifetime movie recently by visiting wonderful, cold, middle-class Chisago County, Minnesota, which gave 57 percent of itself over to Rick Santorum in last week’s caucus. There, the reporters asked some Americans how they felt about the government, and of course many of them said they hated it, [...]
Ah, Rick Santorum. Rick, Rick, Rick. After winning the support of 100 evangelical leaders this weekend, the conservative candidate solidified himself as a seriousish contender in the Republican race, which is exciting only because it means the New York Times will now spend the next couple of weeks writing probing examinations of this true Washington [...]
Last November, the Teabaggers won the House for the Republicans, which meant government spending and all post-18th century bureaucracy was gone forever, yay. Except, that big budget deal that saved us all from government shutdown? It’s going to make the government spend more money this year than if spending had just been left alone, according [...]
Just days after it came into our lives, Harry Reid has given up trying to pass the $1.2-trillion spending omnibus, the greatest proposed legislation in the history of our great country. Reid said he would work with Mitch McConnell on a stopgap measure to fund the government for a bit, but how do you tell [...]
Crisis has been averted: The government will probably not shut down at the end of the week, because Democrats put together a giant spending omnibus thing that will fund it for the next fiscal year. And what’s in the omnibus? Nobody really knows, but it’s all greased up and seems to have been cooked well, [...]
NATO is escorting some high-level Taliban leaders that they were previously trying to kill to Kabul so that they will make nice with Hamid Karzai and the Afghan government and we can all go home, hooray! “High-level” does not include Mullah Omar, who is apparently a “prisoner” of the Pakistani ISI spy agency. Oh, and [...]
What is America’s favorite alcoholic, chain-smokin’ orange mutant mumbling about this time? New spending cuts every week, forever! That is his Pledge to America. Also: “Gitmo stays open until the ocean eventually gobbles up Cuba.” When this happens it will be renamed “Gitmo Underwater.” Should they take control of the House in the midterm elections, [...]
Empress of Minnesota Michele Bachmann has been using her popular e-newsletter and blog to ask the trenchant political questions of our time, like, “Is Nancy Pelosi afraid of strong conservative women?” and “Is Nancy Pelosi stress-binging on cherpumples after hours? I see love handles.” Bachmann’s latest complaint involves Pelosi’s calling the House back from break [...]
The Senate went to work on a Sunday — Hanukkah Sunday, we bet! — and desecrated the grave of the Stillborn Jesus to give hundreds of billions of dollars to themselves and their favorite government programs. The bill okays $447 billion for whatever federal agencies plus $650 billion to keep funding teabagger welfare programs such [...]
The whole “Sonia Sotomayor is the reanimated corpse of Michael Jackson come to kill all yr babies” approach does not seem to be working so well for opponents of the Supreme Court candidate, so they’ve basically got two options: they can cite that Ricci case and talk about how she’s a racist (although not a [...]
How to describe the music playing in the background here? It’s hold music, isn’t it, like what you hear while you wait 20 minutes to speak with a Capital One representative? Or is it what you hear piped in while you’re waiting for your 40-minute “Shiatsu” massage in one of those mall massage chains? Perhaps [...]
