Here is something weird, and thank you, First Read, for pointing this out recently: the press has already found out the identity of like half of the future Obama cabinet. And yet we have no idea who’s being vetted to fill one of the most important positions of all — Treasury Secretary. What is up with that HMMM? Will it be the kindly ancient giant Paul Volcker? The stouthearted Kansan Republican Sheila Bair? The repellent NAFTA whore Larry Summers? Nobody knows — or at least, nobody’s telling! Our prediction: Ron Paul, who will unleash a “money bomb” on the United States economy in February of 2009 and then sell us to the nation of Galt’s Gulch for 50 Ameros. [Washington Post]

Remember how you people all hated Hillary Clinton for having the temerity to run against Barack Obama and suggest that he was too busy enjoying sex with his pretty wife to answer phone calls at 3am, unlike Hillary Clinton who never sleeps and stays awake at night seething with rage while her husband picks up fat chicks at the bar that sells frozen mixed drinks out of Slurpee machines? Remember how you people were convinced she would ruin everything and believed that if she said “2 plus 2 equals 4″ you could reasonably conclude they actually equaled 5, because every word out of her mouth was a transparent lie? Well, now Hillary Clinton says she isn’t interested in a Supreme Court appointment and is “probably” not interested in running for president again, which means HOLD ONTO YOUR HAT BAT MAN: MORE »

As we wait for the wicked nasty response ad about Rezko and Ayers that the McCain team is surely splicing together right now, let’s “read” some tea leaves: “CHICAGO - Barack Obama says he’s decided on a running mate, but he won’t say who. The Democratic presidential candidate told USA Today on Thursday that he went with someone who is independent and would challenge him in the White House. He also said he wanted someone who is prepared to be president and would help him strengthen the economy.” He’s so weird. Why would anyone want a vice president that would “challenge” him? Sounds like a pain in the rear. But that aside, this obviously changes everything we ever knew about the veepstakes and really everything else too. MORE »

• SPOT THE POOP JOKE IN THIS CLEVER POST: Ew gross: “‘A successful dump,’ [Joe Biden] shouted from his car window when asked if he had anything to report. Earlier, he left with a pile of logs in the back of his truck.” Joe Biden is truly a “regular” guy, wokka wokka!!! [The Hotline]

With the exception of the two days following the conclusion of the Democratic primaries, when Hillary Clinton and all her dumb minions seemed to really push the whole “Hillary will be vice president or we will sabotage this whole election” idea, she has pretty much kept her head down, surfacing only occasionally to make another tacky request for money. But despite this display of sorta-team-player-ness, mean Barack Obama continues to state publicly and openly that there isn’t a snowball’s chance in hell she’ll get on the ticket with him. Witness the latest damning quotes, delivered on Meet the Press yesterday. MORE »

The untouchables who sit by the Ganges plucking human waste from the river hold the most thankless job in the world. The American vice president holds the second most thankless job in the world. So it’s no surprise that most senators have zero interest in the position — except for Larry Craig, who admitted in a creepily protesting-too-much fashion that “I would say ‘No, Hillary.’” What are some other hilarious things America’s jokester senators might say to the presidential nominees if tapped for the number two spot? MORE »

Those who have seen him in action have probably noticed something weird about America’s favorite Democratic presidential candidate with a decent jump shot. Obama’s always so … hopeful. Is it all the coke and the weed? Or is he consuming more prescription meds than Cindy McCain on a six-day bender at the Naval infirmary? MORE »

Some anonymous tipster identifying him/herself as a former Examiner employee writes: MORE »

Here’s a nightmare scenario for various people who think they’re probably going to take the Senate: MORE »

We hear that the Independent Senator from Vermont (who is not running for reelection this year) will be announcing something or other at three (-ish) on the Senate floor. MORE »

Time for Times staffers to start looking for real work? Probably not, as long as the Heritage Foundation exists, but the UK magazine Prospect reports that the Moonies aren’t happy with their pet white supremacists American Euro-Caucasian Heritage Aficionados at the Wash Times. They place the blame on a forthcoming Nation expose (breaking: Wes Pruden, Fran Coombs, and people associated with and related to them have said and written some racially questionable things!), but the Nation could expose anything they liked about the Times and everyone would sort of shrug and continue not reading it. This bit sounds slightly more truthy to us: MORE »