Tag: special elections

We're sure he'll find a way to Shake This Off too.

County Wants Aaron Schock To Pay For Special Election To Put New Buttcheeks In His Old Seat

Aaron Schock, the hot male personal photographer-having FORMER congressman from Illinois, still has a war chest with $3.3 million in it, due to he was apparently very good at fundraising, and also because he apparently had some very creative...

Roland Burris Wants To Run For Re-Election, But Only To Finish Glorious Term

Earlier this year, a court ruled that Roland Burris could not run in a special election to finish out the final weeks of his term, from the November election until the new Congress meets. The court said that was...

Remembering This Historic Night, When The Naked Man Tried To Sell His Daughters

We assume that guest editor Josh Fruhlinger knew all along, ever since he wrote this post about some mean and very very naked state senator three years ago, that this same asshole would sooner or later win Ted Kennedy's...

Hey Here’s A Bunch Of Links About Massachusetts!

Aww, Michael Steele and his minions weren't allowed to do stuff in Massachusetts. So Michael Steele is just pretending that he is a secret agent pulling the strings behind closed doors. This should keep him distracted for another few...

Check Out The Boston Globe’s Super Interesting Poll Watching Feature!

YES. Real-life voters making crass, childish comments about their polling locations and others' political beliefs! This completely re-justifies the Globe's existence. And the best part is... ...IT IS THE LEAST MODERATED COMMENT THREAD EVER (although we didn't try curses): Hurry...

SEND SEXY ELECTION DAY PICS TO YOUR WONKETTE, YOU "MASSHOLES": Considering how gay and Maoist you people are, a sizable chunk of you probably live in Massachusetts, the site of today's exciting political election between a poorly programmed Democratic...

John Kerry Could Verily Be Brought To Fisticuffs

John Kerry, who polls suggest is one of only a handful of Democrats remaining in Massachusetts, is furious over the Naked Republican's insurgent campaign, calling his supporters "tea baggers" and all. He's already rolled up one sleeve, don't make...

The Best Phone Survey In Massachusetts Right Now

Where do the Teabaggers in Texas who are phone-banking Massachusetts households come up with this shit? "I just got a polling call about Martha Coakley. I also had to answer questions about gay marriage, Israel, and malaria, including this...

Is This Because We Forced The Gays To Get Married In Your State, Massachusetts??

Ha ha... whoops. So far the only good polling news we have seen for Coakley today is a 48-48 tie, according to a, um... Daily Kos/Research 2000 poll. Not that those veer as heavily Democratic as the PAJAMAS MEDIA...

OBAMA TO CAMPAIGN FOR MISS ROBOT THIS WEEKEND: Hooray! Barack Obama has listened exclusively to Wonkette's advice and will campaign for Martha Coakley & Thugs in Massachusetts this Sunday. Marc Ambinder has listed 10,000 specific political expert reasons for...

Scott Brown Has Never Heard Of Teabaggers, Ergo Is Liberal

Naked Massachusetts person Scott Brown is flyin' high, and is almost certain to defeat Martha Coakley in the state's special Senate election next Tuesday, since he is only losing by five or eight percentage points. Were he to pull...

Barack Obama Dares Shoot Internet Video Supporting Martha Coakley

Barack Obama needs your help, sheeple! The broad up there in Massachusetts, Martha Coakley, just has zero fucking clue what she's doing or what's going on at all, so maybe volunteer and pass some leaflets around for a few...

Michael Steele Will Claim Victory If ‘Conservative Party’ Candidate Wins NY-23

Oh man, this would piss the wingnuts off so much, and we wouldn't blame them. Michael Steele, the animated .gif in charge of the Republican party, sees that his moderate conservative (communist) Republican candidate in the NY-23 special election,...

Fred Thompson Also Likes That Wingnut In NY-23

Have we even posted about the comical NY-23 special congressional election yet? Don't think so! Fortunately lazy Hollywood dandy Fred "Dipshit McGoo" Thompson, who pretended to run for president once, for about two months, before losing miserably everywhere, has...

Boring Lady Person Officially Trying To Steal Ted Kennedy’s Memorial Senate Seat

It has only been a week -- one week -- since Ted Kennedy died, and already some gal has exploited this by declaring her candidacy for the special election happening like 2 minutes from now. Her name is Martha...

Mass. Lawmakers Now Rethinking Whole ‘Leave Kennedy’s Seat Vacant For Five Months’ Thing

Now that the question of what to do about Ted Kennedy's Senate seat is no longer an academic one, folks in Boston seem to be giving the issue a little re-think. Remember Kennedy wrote to the governor recently asking...