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Posts Tagged ‘speaker of the house’

BAY AREA POLITICS

Cindy Sheehan Will Crush Nancy Pelosi

Tuesday, August 12th, 2008

It’s official: Nancy Pelosi has not one but TWO opponents in a “hotly” contested race for her Congressional district. In addition to Dana Walsh, the last specimen of a doomed and rare species called the “Bay Area Republican” which is hunted for sport on the banks of San Francisco’s mandatory nude heroin-needle beaches, this woman named Cindy Sheehan is also running to make a Point. Cindy Sheehan is the woman who everyone felt bad for because her son was killed in Iraq, until she became the most tiresome Californian this side of Medea Benjamin. MORE »


RULES OF SUCCESSION

Electoral Apocalypse Doomsday Scenario: Obama And McCain Tie, World Explodes, Nancy Pelosi Is President

Thursday, July 17th, 2008

A piece of paper will not save you from the DOOMSDAY APOCALYPSE, little boy.Remember how much fun the primaries were, with the math and numbers and the whole “If Hillary gets enough superdelegates then two plus two will equal five, within the confines of Michigan and Florida before May 31 divided by two”? Dust off your abacus because now your favorite News Analysts will be giving themselves mental hernias as they strain to figure out in which way our electoral college and its nutty rules could again leave infuriated Americans ready to hop on the first spaceship to France. MORE »


DENNIS HASTERT

The Secret Life of Dennis

Thursday, October 27th, 2005

Here’s definitive proof that the GOP is in serious trouble: House Speaker Dennis Hastert has launched his own blog. It’s called “Speaker’s Journal,” and we’re reluctant to forward the URL on to you, for the simple reason that your mind will be so thoroughly blown as to never again return. Why, just check out the title of the first entry: “Welcome to my blog.” The Speaker proceeds to describe his maiden foray into yon blogosphere in the same dutiful cadence that 7th graders reserve for their book reports: MORE »