Wonkette

Oh no, some sort of 9/11 is happening in downtown D.C. today: “Authorities have closed portions of two downtown Washington streets as they investigate the discovery of several containers carrying an unknown substance. D.C. fire department spokesman Alan Etter says the containers were found on a sidewalk midday Thursday at the corner of 15th and I streets. Hazmat crews are working to determine what is inside the containers and who put them there.” The “air around the containers tested negative,” so it’s probably just urine. As far as who put them there, well: “A Spanish-language bible appears to be resting on top one of the containers.” The Bush Administration is expected to bomb a random brown country by nightfall. [WJLA]

Apparently this is a Chilean performer whose other dancing-in-wigs videos have already made the rounds. Don’t be thrown off by the uncanny likeness to the senator from New York — this little impostor’s got much better legs than the actual Hillary. [YouTube via BoingBoing]

MORE »

Foreigners, probably illegal immigrants, have obviously broken into Matt Drudge’s stately Florida home, taken him hostage, and assumed control of his popular news website. Expect Mark Halperin to be penning La Nota by the end of the week. MORE »

It’s official: The United States is now Mexican. Lou Dobbs was last seen throwing himself under a taco truck. Mmmm, tacos …. MORE »

Maryland continues to be the source of some of the greatest candidates running for office this year and incredibly racially awkward public appearance. The Baltimore Sun brings us the tale of three people vying to lose the Democratic nomination for Senate. Our personal favorite is Allan Lichtman, college professor. We’re not sure what his field is, but after reading about his appearance before a group of Spanish-speaking auto mechanics, we can safely conclude that it’s not linguistics. MORE »

• Reliable Source: First Daughter Barbara Bush is headed for the Big Apple… Laura Bush hosts a luncheon for Senate wives, where they were serenaded by the cast of the Tony-winning “Jersey Boys.” [WP]

• Heard on the Hill: Several senators who support affording special protection to the English language have Spanish-language websites… Dick Cheney is missing today’s official photo session for the 109th Senate. [Roll Call]
• Page Six: Jon Corzine more interested in his dinner date than in N.J. political history. [NYP]

* Cool topic, NOW TELL US WHERE RIGHT NOW! [Circle V] MORE »

Here’s the White House rebuttal to allegations that President Bush, despite his recent assertion that the national anthem should be sung in English, used to sing it in Spanish while on the campaign trail: MORE »