Tag: spanish

History’s Greatest Love Affair: Donald Trump and Geraldo Rivera

Donald Trump and Geraldo Rivera have a complicated relationship. They theoretically have undying love for one another (but not in a gay way, because no homo bro) yet is that love really possible when they each adore themselves so...

Bernie Surprise Winned Michigan! Time For Another Democratic Debate Death Match

When was the last time we had a Democratic debate between Hillary Rodham Sanders and Berndog Clinton or whatever their REAL names are? Were you a little girl at the time? Well you're still a little girl obviously, because...
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls... Dyin' time's here.

Republicans Eat Each Other’s Faces Off In Yet Another Holy Jesus Debate

We've gotten accustomed to some pretty weird stuff happening during Republican debates, like the audience booing a gay soldier because Gay is worse than The Troops, or one of the candidates turning into a robot, or simply a constant...
Muy caliente!

Playboy Will Still Make Naked Ladies For You, But Only In Mexican

The other day, the world was shocked-but-not-really to find out that Playboy, the iconic magazine known mostly for hard-hitting journalism and the occasional picture of a booby, would be getting rid of the boobies entirely and going to a boner-free...
It was right there on his hand the whole time.

Jeb Bush Becomes Black Voter

Oh Jebbers McJebberton Bush, you are just all over the place! You were a Hispanic voter, but then you distanced yourself from that and did whiteness again, and then you and your Mexican wife, Columba, rolled out a new Latino...
Sexytime Jesus Vacation

Dumb Duggar Girl Probably Hasn’t Bagged Any Central American Souls For Jesus

Remember the good old days, back when yr Wonkette would write about the Duggars just to make fun of them, and not because their oldest boy used to have a problem with his fingers wandering off into his sisters,...
He was only wearing it for a costume, he swears.

Donald Trump Doesn’t Want To Press ‘1’ To Hear Jeb Bush Lose In English

Louche stool Donald Trump gave an exclusive interview to Dead Breitbart's Home for Terrified White People on Wednesday, and revealed that not only is he certain he'll be elected president in 2016, but he's pretty sure he'll win re-election in...
Olé!

Rep. Steve King Is Most Mexicanest Person Alive, Says Rep. Steve King

What comes to mind when you think of Iowa Rep. Steve King? Racist? Wingnut? Asshole? Dumb as a knapsack full of syphilitic fucks? Well you are wrong, because the only thing that should come into your mind when you...
Oooooooops, accidentally picked on somebody bigger than him.

Who Would Win In A Cage Fight Between Donald Trump And El Chapo?

Ooh ooh ooh! Donald Trump seems to have pissed off an ACTUAL Mexican crime-lord, and it is the biggest one of all: Sinaloa cartel leader Joaquín "El Chapo" Guzmán, who recently pulled off ANOTHER insane escape from prison, involving...

Arizona Schools Chief Apologizes, Has A Good Cry, Will Never Surrender, Won’t Stop Believin’

Arizona Superintendent of Public Instruction John Huppenthal held a news conference Thursday where he apologized -- an actual "I'm sorry" apology, not a "sorry you were offended" apology -- and "renounced and repudiated" his anonymously posted comments on political...

Arizona Schools Chief Only Hates Your Bad Spanishes, Not Your Good Assimilated Spanishes

Hey, remember John Huppenthal, Arizona's state schools superintendent, who trolled a bunch of blogs from his work computer, mostly talking about what a great job John Huppenthal was doing as state schools superintendent, but also explaining that the poor...

Michael Steele Says Not All Republicans Want To Racial-Profile Messicans, A HUGE GAFFE

WHAT IS HE SAYING?! SPEAK AMERICAN, BLACK MAN. Yes, Michael Steele has made another major boo-boo today, telling Univision that Arizona's immigration law is "not a reflection of an entire political party." WHAT? ALL REPUBLICANS MUST ADHERE TO PARTY...

Sarah Palin Won’t Stop Talking About Obama’s Genitals

Most of us missed yesterday's episode of "Fox News Sunday," because Sunday is the Lord's Day, the day when you crawl off the couch and dirtbike to church so you can show Jesus the new unregistered semiautomatic you purchased...

Newt Gingrich Would Like To Chat Online, In Espanol Por Favor

That thing you were just saying the Internet was definitely missing? It is HERE: Look no further than Newt Gingrich's grammatically indiscriminate new web magazine, "The Americano", of course! (Editor Ken Layne points out that "El Americano" has naturally...

Town Halls Are Almost Over! Must Show More Racism Videos, Before It’s Too Late…

Here we are in Norwalk, Connecticut, for this latest August Racism Movie. Rep. Jim Himes was giving a health care town hall Wednesday night to a slightly more "pro-reform" crowd of dirty fucking hippies. Of course, the "anti-reform" folks...

A Children’s Treasury Of (Poorly) Translated Comments About Mark Sanford From An Argentinian Newspaper

One or more of you commenter people have linked to an article about crying sex person Mark Sanford in an Argentinian newspaper, La Nación. "Argentina" is very proud to have had an American slave state leader come to its...