Tag Archives: spanish

  hair of the blog

Arizona Schools Chief Apologizes, Has A Good Cry, Will Never Surrender, Won’t Stop Believin’

Arizona Superintendent of Public Instruction John Huppenthal held a news conference Thursday where he apologized — an actual “I’m sorry” apology, not a “sorry you were offended” apology — and “renounced and repudiated” his anonymously posted comments on political blogs, saying that the comments had been hurtful and that the revelation that he’d written them had damaged the state Department of Education. Oh, and while he is really sorry about all the racisming and hammering on the dirty poors, he’s also not going to step down, because something something honor, something something duty to the children. And then he broke into tears —  Glenn Beck would envy that weeping — and was escorted gently away from the podium by an aide. That’s shows how much He Cares. Read more on Arizona Schools Chief Apologizes, Has A Good Cry, Will Never Surrender, Won’t Stop Believin’…
  the white man's derpin'

Arizona Schools Chief Only Hates Your Bad Spanishes, Not Your Good Assimilated Spanishes

Hey, remember John Huppenthal, Arizona’s state schools superintendent, who trolled a bunch of blogs from his work computer, mostly talking about what a great job John Huppenthal was doing as state schools superintendent, but also explaining that the poor are “lazy pigs” and Margaret Sanger did the Holocaust? Turns out that more of his commenting history is being uncovered, like the time he explained that controlling immigration needs to be done, but that we also need to make sure that those dumb immigrants straighten up and fly right, in English. Read more on Arizona Schools Chief Only Hates Your Bad Spanishes, Not Your Good Assimilated Spanishes…
  that's like saying tacos aren't delicious oh wait

Michael Steele Says Not All Republicans Want To Racial-Profile Messicans, A HUGE GAFFE

WHAT IS HE SAYING?! SPEAK AMERICAN, BLACK MAN. Yes, Michael Steele has made another major boo-boo today, telling Univision that Arizona’s immigration law is “not a reflection of an entire political party.” WHAT? ALL REPUBLICANS MUST ADHERE TO PARTY ORTHODOXY, AND THAT ORTHODOXY SHALL BE DICTATED BY THE MOST EXTEME AND HATEFUL AND LOUDEST. Michael Steele obviously thought that Real Americans could not hear his words behind this Messican talking over him, but we must have sophisticated 21st-century technology that now has let our reporters hear the English that is being said. Read more on Michael Steele Says Not All Republicans Want To Racial-Profile Messicans, A HUGE GAFFE…
  she used the spanish word 'burrito'

Sarah Palin Won’t Stop Talking About Obama’s Genitals

Most of us missed yesterday’s episode of “Fox News Sunday,” because Sunday is the Lord’s Day, the day when you crawl off the couch and dirtbike to church so you can show Jesus the new unregistered semiautomatic you purchased at Walmart. But anyway, back to this Fox News segment: Chris Wallace blurts out something about “the Arab Arizona immigration law,” which is confusing because “Arab” should never be used as a compliment. But that is neither here nor there. The real hot-as-Tim Pawlenty’s-hot-wife scoop is that Sarah Palin was too busy fantasizing about the size of Barack Obama’s genitals to notice that Chris Wallace called Arizona “Arab”. This video is Suitable for Work, but only because Sarah Palin stops herself at the last possible moment from orgasming all over the teevee. Read more on Sarah Palin Won’t Stop Talking About Obama’s Genitals…
  in time for webbys?

Newt Gingrich Would Like To Chat Online, In Espanol Por Favor

That thing you were just saying the Internet was definitely missing? It is HERE: Look no further than Newt Gingrich’s grammatically indiscriminate new web magazine, “The Americano”, of course! (Editor Ken Layne points out that “El Americano” has naturally already been dibs’ed by what appears to be a high school dating back to 2005 A.D.) So, what lies therein, bilingually curious webzine? Mostly pieces about Catholicism and its arbitrarily assigned discontents (i.e. gays, people who want to secularize Christmas, etc.) Do not delay in buying friends and family members invaluable lifetime RSS subscriptions for El Christmas. [The Americano via Dave Weigel] Read more on Newt Gingrich Would Like To Chat Online, In Espanol Por Favor…
  speak 'merkin!

Town Halls Are Almost Over! Must Show More Racism Videos, Before It’s Too Late…

Here we are in Norwalk, Connecticut, for this latest August Racism Movie. Rep. Jim Himes was giving a health care town hall Wednesday night to a slightly more “pro-reform” crowd of dirty fucking hippies. Of course, the “anti-reform” folks were louder and constantly shouting mean things without permission to speak. This is the pretty standard scenario by now — a national town hall equilibrium of sorts, arrived at just as the summer nears its close. BUT HERE IS A NEW TWIST: some Peruvian-born bishop now living in Stamford asks Himes his question in Spanish, because Himes speaks Spanish! This is when the DEAFENING RACISM kicks in. Enjoy! [My Left Nutmeg] Read more on Town Halls Are Almost Over! Must Show More Racism Videos, Before It’s Too Late……
  the best meat

A Children’s Treasury Of (Poorly) Translated Comments About Mark Sanford From An Argentinian Newspaper

One or more of you commenter people have linked to an article about crying sex person Mark Sanford in an Argentinian newspaper, La Nación. “Argentina” is very proud to have had an American slave state leader come to its big city and sex its women! Maybe? It’s hard to tell, because we do not speak Spanish. The Internet does, though, and has translated for us some of the article’s comments. Are the Argentinian Internet’s commenters as erudite as the “Real American” commenters? Perhaps even more! Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of (Poorly) Translated Comments About Mark Sanford From An Argentinian Newspaper…
  fallen leaders

George Bush Already Forgotten In Texas Schools

George W. Bush, remember that guy? Liked to dance with foreign leaders and start wars a lot? He’s so much more likable now that he’s not running the country! For example, back in the day if he’d had the temerity to visit a local elementary school we would probably have said something snide like, “Oh great you remember what happened the last time he read a book to childrens,” but now we can just write about how darling it all was. Read more on George Bush Already Forgotten In Texas Schools…
  love'll get you like a case of anthrax

‘Illegals’ Leave Terrorist Piss Jugs On D.C. Sidewalk, Everybody Freaks

Oh no, some sort of 9/11 is happening in downtown D.C. today: “Authorities have closed portions of two downtown Washington streets as they investigate the discovery of several containers carrying an unknown substance. D.C. fire department spokesman Alan Etter says the containers were found on a sidewalk midday Thursday at the corner of 15th and I streets. Hazmat crews are working to determine what is inside the containers and who put them there.” The “air around the containers tested negative,” so it’s probably just urine. As far as who put them there, well: “A Spanish-language bible appears to be resting on top one of the containers.” The Bush Administration is expected to bomb a random brown country by nightfall. [WJLA] Read more on ‘Illegals’ Leave Terrorist Piss Jugs On D.C. Sidewalk, Everybody Freaks…
 

Meet Your Next President, La Pequeña Hillary Clinton

Apparently this is a Chilean performer whose other dancing-in-wigs videos have already made the rounds. Don’t be thrown off by the uncanny likeness to the senator from New York — this little impostor’s got much better legs than the actual Hillary. [YouTube via BoingBoing] Read more on Meet Your Next President, La Pequeña Hillary Clinton…
 

Learn Spanish the Damage Control Way with Newt

From his stock “serious candidate” library set straight out to the barrio, Newt Gingrich wants to spread the word: He es not un racisto! He can read phonetic Spanish from a prompter! And most of all, he’s sorry he confused all you potential Republican Latinos with Jews. Read more on Learn Spanish the Damage Control Way with Newt…
 

Illegals Take Over Drudge

Foreigners, probably illegal immigrants, have obviously broken into Matt Drudge’s stately Florida home, taken him hostage, and assumed control of his popular news website. Expect Mark Halperin to be penning La Nota by the end of the week. Read more on Illegals Take Over Drudge…
 

!Bienvenidos a Mexico!

It’s official: The United States is now Mexican. Lou Dobbs was last seen throwing himself under a taco truck. Mmmm, tacos …. Página principal en GobiernoUSA.gov, el portal oficial del Gobierno de los EE. UU [GobiernoUSA] Read more on !Bienvenidos a Mexico!…
 

Welcome to America, Potential Voters

Maryland continues to be the source of some of the greatest candidates running for office this year and incredibly racially awkward public appearance. The Baltimore Sun brings us the tale of three people vying to lose the Democratic nomination for Senate. Our personal favorite is Allan Lichtman, college professor. We’re not sure what his field is, but after reading about his appearance before a group of Spanish-speaking auto mechanics, we can safely conclude that it’s not linguistics. Read more on Welcome to America, Potential Voters…
 

Gossip Roundup: Barbara Bush Takes Manhattan

Reliable Source: First Daughter Barbara Bush is headed for the Big Apple… Laura Bush hosts a luncheon for Senate wives, where they were serenaded by the cast of the Tony-winning “Jersey Boys.” [WP] Read more on Gossip Roundup: Barbara Bush Takes Manhattan…
 

Metro Section: Mouths Wide Shut

* Cool topic, NOW TELL US WHERE RIGHT NOW! [Circle V] * To order the secret chorizo taco, you must first master the dance of the seven burros. [Gridskipper] * It’s great to see the militant left is still alive, but regarding the republican orgies that were mentioned, can you please TELL US WHERE RIGHT NOW! [Craigslist] Read more on Metro Section: Mouths Wide Shut…
 

Nothing Quite Like A Lame Duck Press Secretary

Here’s the White House rebuttal to allegations that President Bush, despite his recent assertion that the national anthem should be sung in English, used to sing it in Spanish while on the campaign trail: Read more on Nothing Quite Like A Lame Duck Press Secretary…