Remember Patrick Rhode? He was the former TV reporter who leveraged a job as deputy advance guy for Bush in 2000 (deputy to the guy who makes sure there’s bottled water behind the podium!) into a gig as deputy director of FEMA. Then New Orleans drowned, and Rhode called FEMA’s response “probably one of the most efficient and effective responses in the country’s history.” MORE »

• President Bush happily signs so-called “torture bill” into law, calling it, “a way to deliver justice to the terrorists we have captured.” John McCain notably absent from signing ceremony. [WP, NYT, LAT, USAT]

• First-in-a-decade revision of outer space policy “is not about developing or deploying weapons in space. Period.” So, expect giant lasers and/or death rays up there any minute. [WP]
• Former House clerk and crucial Foley case link Jeff Trandahl is a total boyscout, neckerchiefs and all. Loved to bust pages under his supervision for smoking the chron. [NYT]
• Duke Cunningham’s corruption has a number: $70 million in contracts steered towards his kick-back buddies. [WP, NYT]
• Jim Webb, proud redneck. [WP]
• Hanging out with genocidal war-profiteers in rogue nations is a normal weekend for Curt Weldon. [WP]
• Government denies pension benefit to the partner of Gerry Studds, the first openly gay member of congress. [WP]

From Overheard in the Office: MORE »

• North Korea launched its 7th test-missile in 48 hours this morning. The long-range Taepodong-2 missile, designed to reach as far as Alaska or even the west coast of the US, failed within a minute of launch. The White House said the missiles pose no threat to the US. [WP, NYT, AP]

• In the still-disputed Mexican election, Felipe Calderón’s lead over Andrés Manuel López Obrador has shrunk to 0.64 percent. Obrador supports suspect foul play, Calderón’s supporters fear violence. [WP, NYT]
• The Space shuttle Discovery, the first shuttle launched on Independence Day, arrived safely in space yesterday. [WP]
• Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton announced that she will not support Joe Lieberman’s Senate campaign if he loses the Democratic primary. [WP]
• President Bush, to the relief of Republican members of the House, is suggesting a new willingness to embrace “enforcement-first” immigration reform. [NYT]

But then, it’s what you do with the foam, isn’t it? (Getty Images)

You may have noticed: Half the editors, half the content. And it’s a holiday. And (did we mention?) we have a cold. But don’t worry — this is a one-time occurrence, and your beloved Wonkette will be back up and running with two exciting and attractive editors by mid-week. In the meantime, we’re going to go crash a barbecue and cough all over the brats. You guys feel free to enjoy these vaguely dirty (in a sophomoric way) photos from the NASA “We’re Still Incompetent” presser, courtesy Getty Images. We couldn’t pick just one to snicker at, so there are more after the jump.

Even if the shuttle does blow up tomorrow, we’re still not working.

MORE »

July 3, 2006: Top Stories:

• North Korea: Still have nuclear weapons, still want to bomb the shit out of us.

• Al-Zarqawi: Still dead, still causing trouble.
• Sy Hersh: Still concerned about how we want to bomb the shit out of Iran.
• Space program: Still pointless, dangerous joke.

Oh no! Rhetoric!
Condi, we know you’re trying to be tough and all, but we’re still pretty close to tagging this as “holy shit” — Sy Hersh just gets us a little skittish when he starts talking about “tactical nuclear weapons,” and, well, we already kinda know how your boss feels about “diplomacy.” So we urge you, Condi, to learn a little more about Iran before you take it to the Security Council — get to know them, you know? We think we have a lot in common, after all. Like, for example, they have crappy and incomprehensible kids websites too:

Yeah. That’s the Space Shuttle up top there. No, we don’t know why. It kinda freaks us out a little, but those stock photography kids at the top make us feel a little better. This was the only thing we could find in English. Any Persian speakers out there want to tell us what the hell is going on? With this site or with the forthcoming nuclear apocalypse, either one will do. MORE »