space monsters

In the absence of Sarah Palin saying anything about whether she will run for president, her followers are walking around the Iowa cornfields as un-anointed apostles canvasing for their mysteriously quiet snowbilly messiah and waiting for her sign. What else has anyone even got to do these days, except wait for signals from space monsters? […]

About two-hundred years ago, our enemies The Rooskies put an alive dog in a space capsule and shot it into orbit, for laughs. Russians have a very dark sense of humor. But Americans — especially the kind of Americans who run things, in Washington — do not have any sense of humor at all. Instead […]

Thank the Neutered Dwarf-Gods of Journalism for the Columbia Journalism Review, which has bravely come to the defense of “responsible science reporters,” who have all become scientifically butthurt because NASA put out another bullshit press release promising “an astrobiology finding that will impact the search for evidence of extraterrestrial life.” But what if the NASA […]

What did NASA send your Wonkette for some reason? Secret plans for the new Chevrolet space shuttle? A wacky “mash up” video of NASA accidents? No! It’s even better/worse than all that: “NASA will hold a news conference at 2 p.m. EST on Thursday, Dec. 2, to discuss an astrobiology finding that will impact the […]

What was this missile that lit up the sky over Los Angeles last night? Obviously, most smart people immediately thought this was the work of either the Pleiadians or the Reptilians, as Colleen Thomas warned us about yesterday. Yet, why didn’t it feel like we all exploded and died yesterday? And could it really be […]

If you are anything like most of the world’s Muslims, you spend your days leafing through Dwell and Architectural Digest, wondering just how you will achieve the correct interplay of light and shadow in your third second home in the Berkshires. Thus, you and your Mohammedan friends will surely be thrilled to learn of the […]

Have you heard about the impending invasion of the Space Devils? Whether it’s another discovery of a new “earthlike” planet filled with thousand-foot-tall rape monsters or the latest MSNBC documentary about the night demons who arrive all the time in UFOs as foretold in the Bible, it seems we just can’t escape the fact that […]

By the Comics CurmudgeonYour cartoon correspondent has been looking at cartoons for Wonkette since roughly the Revolutionary War, during which time political cartoons haven’t changed much. You’d think that a man would burn out seeing endless weeping Statues of Liberty and fat generic Congressmen and “funny” Bush/Obama drawings with big ears. And you’d be right! […]

Legendary White House Crone Helen Thomas got herself pushed into retirement finally, at age 89, over a bizarre outburst into a rabbi’s video camera about how the Israeli Jews need to go “back [to] Poland, Germany,” etc. Was it the White House press corps’ fault for letting the increasingly shrill lady keep yelling her Democratic […]

Here is a fun thing about old-school Conspiracy Theories: They were often true. The Bilderberg Group was, until just a couple of years ago, dismissed by the Lame Stream Media as some kind of crazy fiction — but the terrifying reality was that the news companies were all in on it, for decades, so the […]

Just as Stephen Hawking’s dire warning about the Space Aliens made the news three weeks ago, engineers at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory discovered a puzzling development in the datastream sent by Voyager 2, the space probe launched in 1977 that is currently 8.5 billion miles from Earth and 5 billion miles beyond the orbit of […]

Did you hear old what’s-his-name, “Current Bogeyman,” just rappin’ about Chomsky at the United Nations today? He must’ve run really fast from that Pathfinder he left in Times Square, AMIRITE??

Just another narcissist video-blogging from his home office, blah blah, job creation, energies, 3 million jobs, financial disaster. Only kidding, Barack! Don’t have us disappeared! If half of this stuff makes it to the Economic Heroics Legislation, which Obama says will be LAW within a month, this is going to be nuts. Let’s watch some […]

Like grimy Chicago leeches, the Obama “transition team” (AS IF) has sent review panels to every federal agency to decide which budget items need to be cut, forever, to finance the next $100 billion wave of AIG bailouts. Agencies like FEMA probably abandoned their entire offices before their transition team appointments, just to avoid the […]