McCain-Palin Actually Robot-Hating Space Monsters?
Thursday, September 4th, 2008
Something sort of familiar about scary old McCain and shrill Mrs. President Palin? Yes, they are the space monsters from teevee’s Battlestar Galactica — the doomed leaders of a spaceship filled with frantic losers running for their lives from the PLANET THEY DESTROYED … we think. We have not actually watched this show, but we vaguely recall the terrible original version from 1942. You people, in the comments, will very quickly display an encyclopedic knowledge of the show, and how it proves McCain-Palin will destroy our planet, too. [Tigh-Roslin 2008 via Cryptogon]
Something sort of familiar about scary old McCain and shrill Mrs. President Palin? Yes, they are the space monsters from teevee’s Battlestar Galactica — the doomed leaders of a spaceship filled with frantic losers running for their lives from the PLANET THEY DESTROYED … we think. We have not actually watched this show, but we vaguely recall the terrible original version from 1942. You people, in the comments, will very quickly display an encyclopedic knowledge of the show, and how it proves McCain-Palin will destroy our planet, too. [Tigh-Roslin 2008 via Cryptogon]
John & Barry Will Become Best Friends, But Not Now
Tuesday, August 12th, 2008
Here is a video from the future. 2022, we estimate. A colony of highly advanced space monsters have posted it to YouTube. We learn that after Barack Obama finishes his presidency, he becomes John McCain’s maid in a shanty town. It also looks like John McCain becomes a black person at some point, except for his head, which will always be white as snow. Never forget. [YouTube]
Here is a video from the future. 2022, we estimate. A colony of highly advanced space monsters have posted it to YouTube. We learn that after Barack Obama finishes his presidency, he becomes John McCain’s maid in a shanty town. It also looks like John McCain becomes a black person at some point, except for his head, which will always be white as snow. Never forget. [YouTube]
NYT Fears UFOs
Wednesday, July 30th, 2008
Oh hell, the New York Times op-ed page is now warning of UFOs. Tuesday’s paper had an op-ed by this Nick Pope guy, who was actually the British Government’s factotum who had to take down the Anomalous Aerial Phenomena reports from the English and Scottish people, after they staggered home from the pub. MORE »
Oh hell, the New York Times op-ed page is now warning of UFOs. Tuesday’s paper had an op-ed by this Nick Pope guy, who was actually the British Government’s factotum who had to take down the Anomalous Aerial Phenomena reports from the English and Scottish people, after they staggered home from the pub. MORE »
Giant UFO Attacks George W. Bush’s Texas Ranch
Wednesday, July 16th, 2008
Air Force logs and government radar reports released under the Freedom of Information Act reveal that a massive, terrible mystery aircraft barreled through the skies of Central Texas on January 8 — and it was headed for George W. Bush’s Crawford ranch at 2,100 miles per hour! MORE »
Air Force logs and government radar reports released under the Freedom of Information Act reveal that a massive, terrible mystery aircraft barreled through the skies of Central Texas on January 8 — and it was headed for George W. Bush’s Crawford ranch at 2,100 miles per hour! MORE »
John McCain’s ‘Pork Invaders’ Video Game Looks Older Than John McCain
Monday, June 23rd, 2008
John McCain’s web site features a challenging video game called “Pork Invaders,” which is designed to illustrate how he will balance the $900 trillion budget deficit by cutting hundreds of millions of dollars in earmarks and “waste.” And because he is John McCain, he will use War to veto these earmarks. See for yourself in the game — you, President McCain, “fire a veto” with the spacebar at little piggie space monsters to prevent them from shitting firecrackers on your subprime mud huts. [John McCain]
John McCain’s web site features a challenging video game called “Pork Invaders,” which is designed to illustrate how he will balance the $900 trillion budget deficit by cutting hundreds of millions of dollars in earmarks and “waste.” And because he is John McCain, he will use War to veto these earmarks. See for yourself in the game — you, President McCain, “fire a veto” with the spacebar at little piggie space monsters to prevent them from shitting firecrackers on your subprime mud huts. [John McCain]
John McCain Likes To Fish On His Fake Lake
Monday, May 19th, 2008
John McCain spoke to his Confederate friends at the N.R.A. convention last week, shortly after Mike Huckabee made a joke about killing Barry Obama. McCain uttered such horrible sentences as this: “Someone should tell Senator Obama that ducks are usually hunted with shotguns.” Ha ha, what was he even talking about? DUCKS? MORE »
John McCain spoke to his Confederate friends at the N.R.A. convention last week, shortly after Mike Huckabee made a joke about killing Barry Obama. McCain uttered such horrible sentences as this: “Someone should tell Senator Obama that ducks are usually hunted with shotguns.” Ha ha, what was he even talking about? DUCKS? MORE »
Mysterious Earthquake Fails To Destroy D.C.
Wednesday, May 7th, 2008
Our last, best hope for Washington — that it would be destroyed by the horrible emergence of subterranean monstrosities — came tantalizingly close to reality on Tuesday, when a magnitude 2.0 earthquake shook the D.C. area. What was it, and why is the government claiming and then denying responsibility for the loud booms from Beneath the Earth? MORE »
Our last, best hope for Washington — that it would be destroyed by the horrible emergence of subterranean monstrosities — came tantalizingly close to reality on Tuesday, when a magnitude 2.0 earthquake shook the D.C. area. What was it, and why is the government claiming and then denying responsibility for the loud booms from Beneath the Earth? MORE »
Monday, April 28th, 2008
WHICH RICH ELITIST WILL BEST FIGHT THE UFOS? The space monsters will kill us all, but which candidate will make us feel better about it? [Political Machine]
WHICH RICH ELITIST WILL BEST FIGHT THE UFOS? The space monsters will kill us all, but which candidate will make us feel better about it? [Political Machine]
Thursday, March 27th, 2008
SPACE DEMONS WILL KILL US ALL: The GAO issues a “scathing report” about the lack of a plan to fight the Moon Monsters. “DOD and the intelligence community have not developed, agreed upon, or issued a National Security Space Strategy.” [Network World]
SPACE DEMONS WILL KILL US ALL: The GAO issues a “scathing report” about the lack of a plan to fight the Moon Monsters. “DOD and the intelligence community have not developed, agreed upon, or issued a National Security Space Strategy.” [Network World]
Time-Traveling Alien Lady Tries To Laser-Gun Our Barack!
Thursday, March 6th, 2008
Many readers have sent in this very disturbing New York Times photograph of Our Barack Obama surrounded by reporters, plus a creepy lady over there on the right with a bunch of suspicious TV remotes or whatever in her hands. One website suggested she was holding a half-dozen of those little digital voice recorders that the media reporters use these days because they don’t know how to take notes. But that seems a little absurd, don’t you think? She is clearly a time-traveling space alien lady in “human” disguise about to blast our new president with Rays of Anti-Hope! MORE »
Many readers have sent in this very disturbing New York Times photograph of Our Barack Obama surrounded by reporters, plus a creepy lady over there on the right with a bunch of suspicious TV remotes or whatever in her hands. One website suggested she was holding a half-dozen of those little digital voice recorders that the media reporters use these days because they don’t know how to take notes. But that seems a little absurd, don’t you think? She is clearly a time-traveling space alien lady in “human” disguise about to blast our new president with Rays of Anti-Hope! MORE »
U.S. Military Escorting Alien UFOs Over Texas
Wednesday, January 23rd, 2008
Every 10 years or so, there’s a “UFO flap” — special nerd code for “people everywhere think they’re seeing Alien Spaceships.” And guess what? We’re having one right now! From San Diego to, uh, some little town in Texas somewhere, Americans can hardly look up in the sky without seeing monstrous craft from beyond our world. But it’s not a real UFO Scare until the U.S. Federal Government Military cranks out an impossibly lame excuse for a mass sighting, two weeks later. MORE »
Every 10 years or so, there’s a “UFO flap” — special nerd code for “people everywhere think they’re seeing Alien Spaceships.” And guess what? We’re having one right now! From San Diego to, uh, some little town in Texas somewhere, Americans can hardly look up in the sky without seeing monstrous craft from beyond our world. But it’s not a real UFO Scare until the U.S. Federal Government Military cranks out an impossibly lame excuse for a mass sighting, two weeks later. MORE »
Murdoch-WSJ Hit Piece Destroys Kucinich Presidency
Wednesday, January 2nd, 2008
Dennis Kucinich was this close to winning both the nomination and the presidency when Rupert Murdoch’s evil new Wall Street Journal brazenly brought up that whole UFO incident, which everybody had completely forgotten because it was only a widely reported and heavily mocked part of a nationally televised Democrat debate a few months ago. MORE »
Dennis Kucinich was this close to winning both the nomination and the presidency when Rupert Murdoch’s evil new Wall Street Journal brazenly brought up that whole UFO incident, which everybody had completely forgotten because it was only a widely reported and heavily mocked part of a nationally televised Democrat debate a few months ago. MORE »
