space
Things have not been going so well for America’s space program. We had a sad when we read about how the Obama Administration basically told Barack he could not have any exciting or inspirational “moon shot” programs, because everything had to go to Wall Street (heh heh). So not only did “moon shot”-style inspirational programs [...]
Newt “Skywalker” Gingrich has been declared the geekiest candidate of them all in a new six-page “study” conducted by Scientific American. The criteria? Obviously not intelligence, but rather knowing stuff about topics including guns, stars, the Internet and science fiction. SciAm finds that Gingrich vastly outdoes Romney (second place, bafflingly) and Paul (third) in these [...]
The latest ploy to draw skepticism (or bizarre, unwanted fandom) to our $99 Million Dollar Man, President Obama, is to suggest that he teleported to Mars during a top-secret CIA mission to explore the planet in the 1980s. According to two guys named Andrew D. Basiago and William Stillings, Obama, then known as one “Barry [...]
BREAKING: GOOD THINGS DO HAPPEN IN THE WORLD FROM TIME TO TIME “I’m told there is nothing that equals the rumble of the earth when this giant manmade force lifts off,” said C. J. Karamargin, the congresswoman’s spokesman, who will also be at the launching. “For the congresswoman to attend is another milestone in her [...]
Salaam, and a very merry DAY OF RAGE to you! Did you forget to buy your girlfriend something nice for this Day of Rage? (Of course not, because who has a girlfriend?) That’s okay, just burn down a police station, in honor of how much you dislike Libya’s weirdo sorta-king thingy, Muammar Gaddafi. Yes! Libyan [...]
Mark Kelly, husband of wounded Rep. Gabrielle Giffords, will fly the space shuttle Endeavour’s final mission in April, according to a source familiar with the decision. This is his Sputnik moment. He’s had it rough. Can we let him blow up the Moon? Anyway, we were sort of wondering what happens when you cry in [...]
So, in 2007, China shot one of its satellites with a missile. Then: In February 2008, America launched its own “test” strike to destroy a malfunctioning American satellite, which demonstrated to the Chinese it also had the capability to strike in space. America stated at the time that the strike was not a military test [...]
We learned that compromise in the Senate means giving into every Republican demand, ever, and that disagreeing just makes you a partisan hack. Just to prove the president’s point, several of those partisan hacks in the lesser legislature had a big old tantrum to oppose the president and his billion-dollar Hanukkah gift to Joe Lieberman. [...]
NASA finally made their big announcement about alien life this afternoon: They were looking around some mud somewhere and found a microorganism that is made of arsenic instead of the usual stuff of which every other living thing on Earth is made. This means life can perhaps exist in many other ways we can’t conceive, [...]
There’s some very interesting stuff going around this week, all about establishing permanent colonies on Mars — and to infinity, and beyond! — using the novel method of “one way missions.” The technology exists today, and the smart people behind companies such as Google are starting to say, “Okay, how much?”
The Moon: it’s America’s moon! We put our flag there, and thus according to the international legal principles of “firsties” and “fuck off, we’re using it,” it is OURS. But according to NASA, the Moon is shrinking. SHUT UP, NASA. Our moon is fine. Every country we’ve ever shown it to says so. You know, [...]
As a stunned America begins to prepare itself for an Arlen Specter-free future, we all must ask ourselves: What killed Arlen Specter? Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell knows! “‘The rain killed Arlen,’ Mr. Rendell said dejectedly. ‘Whatever chance he had went down with the rain.’” It is a well-known fact that old people shouldn’t go out [...]
