Tag: space

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In Space, No One Can Hear Your Shrieking About Global Warming

What was the deal with that nice space lady anyway?

Astro Nice Time: Kid Gives His Piggy Bank To NASA, Gets Call From Real Space Man For Reals

We always feel a little guilty when we dress up a "not as horrible as it coulda been" story as a Nice Time story, and this has been a week where too many stories needed Remedial Kittens, so it...

House GOP Will Explain To NASA All About This Space And Science Stuff

Hello, have you met the Republican wingnuts on the House Science Committee? They include: Paul Broun, who has told supporters that evolution and the big bang theory "are lies straight from the pit of hell,"  and Dana Rorhabacher, who once suggested that temperature...

Newt Gingrich Still Angling For Job As Governor of Moon

The 2012 election is the collision of many, many smaller issues: Immigrants, and how they're destroying everything; the disenfranchisement of Poors, due to laziness; that little issue of health care and who gets to blame whom for $700 billion...

Canada (Two Teenagers + Lego Man) Takes Over American Space Program

Things have not been going so well for America's space program. We had a sad when we read about how the Obama Administration basically told Barack he could not have any exciting or inspirational "moon shot" programs, because everything...

Gingrich Declared Geekiest Candidate, Geek Population Promptly Dies Off

Newt "Skywalker" Gingrich has been declared the geekiest candidate of them all in a new six-page "study" conducted by Scientific American. The criteria? Obviously not intelligence, but rather knowing stuff about topics including guns, stars, the Internet and science...

Some Guys: Obama Teleported to Mars With Us

The latest ploy to draw skepticism (or bizarre, unwanted fandom) to our $99 Million Dollar Man, President Obama, is to suggest that he teleported to Mars during a top-secret CIA mission to explore the planet in the 1980s. According...

Gabrielle Giffords Still Improving

BREAKING: GOOD THINGS DO HAPPEN IN THE WORLD FROM TIME TO TIME “I’m told there is nothing that equals the rumble of the earth when this giant manmade force lifts off,” said C. J. Karamargin, the congresswoman’s spokesman, who will...

Budget Compromise Reached: No Money For Poor People, Nature

Barack Obama and his new boyfriend barf-face John Boehner finally sat down and "hammered things out," budget-wise, and sexually, too. What sort of horrendous pork barrel spending did they trim from the budget, in a jolly, bipartisan fashion? The...

Libyan Protesters Call For ‘Day of Rage’

Salaam, and a very merry DAY OF RAGE to you! Did you forget to buy your girlfriend something nice for this Day of Rage? (Of course not, because who has a girlfriend?) That's okay, just burn down a police...

Giffords’ Husband To Go Be Civil With Space Aliens In Space

Mark Kelly, husband of wounded Rep. Gabrielle Giffords, will fly the space shuttle Endeavour's final mission in April, according to a source familiar with the decision. This is his Sputnik moment. He's had it rough. Can we let him blow...

U.S., China Now In a Super-Cool SPACE Cold War

So, in 2007, China shot one of its satellites with a missile. Then: In February 2008, America launched its own “test” strike to destroy a malfunctioning American satellite, which demonstrated to the Chinese it also had the capability to strike...

Remembering Our Fallen Week: The Worst Hanukkah Ever

We learned that compromise in the Senate means giving into every Republican demand, ever, and that disagreeing just makes you a partisan hack. Just to prove the president's point, several of those partisan hacks in the lesser legislature had a...

Obama Wants To Send Stray Dogs Into Space, To Die

About two-hundred years ago, our enemies The Rooskies put an alive dog in a space capsule and shot it into orbit, for laughs. Russians have a very dark sense of humor. But Americans -- especially the kind of Americans...