Insane Burlesque Space Show Compensates for General NASA Fail
Friday, April 10th, 2009
Man, the Cold War, those were the days, right? Spy satellites, moon walking, cosmonauts — and all this, minus the constant lingering threat of nuclear annihilation, can be yours at the Out of This World Party on Saturday in the Warehouse Theater. This celebration of Soviet Yuri Gagarin, the winner of the “first human in space” race, is a victorious trifecta of space rock, burlesque entertainment and science experiments. In other words, NASA sucks. MORE »











So those awful explosions that you all witnessed 
Today was supposed to be an exciting day for science as NASA planned to launch its “Orbiting Carbon Observatory,” a fancy new Space Machine that would study carbon dioxide levels in the atmosphere and calculate the exact moment when Earth will die, from heat. The $273.4 million, 972-pound monster “carried a single three-channel spectrometer to make its detailed measurements and was slated to launch into a near-polar, sun-synchronous orbit that would fly about 438 miles (705 kilometers) above Earth.” Well, it
SPACE DISASTER SOMEHOW DIDN’T INVOLVE NASA: Some old broken-ass Russian military satellite smashed into an Iridium satellite and now they are both tiny bits of space debris that will eventually cause the Apocalypse — the Russian satellite had a nuclear reactor. [
While George W. Bush begged us to go along with Henry Paulson’s plan to print $700 billion worth of Treasury bills to sell to the Chinese in a tragic attempt to somewhat delay our Greatest Depression and final decline as a nation, China itself has been, you know, doing stuff. 
RON PAUL MUST HELP BLACK VAMPIRE TAX HERO! The Feds threw the book at American cinema/tax hero Wesley Snipes!
Movie hero Wesley Snipes is beloved by Americans for killing vampires and helping Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis colonize space planets for the American Dream, but now the Evil American Government is trying to destroy him for protecting your tax rights! The celebrity star is in Florida today so a federal court can sentence him for tax evasion. The feds want to put him in jail for three years! But