Mark Sanford Blamed For Some Bloggers Calling Some Other South Carolina Politican a Queer
Thursday, September 3rd, 2009
Mark Sanford has admitted to a lot of sketchy behavior and pretty much constant lies about everything, and he is a weeping emo douche, but there’s one thing Mark Sanford wants you to know: HE DID NOT START THE RUMOR THAT HIS HATED RIVAL, LT. GOV. ANDRE BAUER, IS A BIG FAG. Somebody else must’ve done that. Still, “Andre Bauer” is such a gay name we don’t really need Mark Sanford to clue in the blogs, about that. [Palmetto Scoop]
Hey Columbus Dispatch, you have a Moral Obligation to release audio of this interview with Sen. George Voinovich! All Americans must hear this terrifyingly transcribed hell-screech of the Southern Republicans: “We got too many Jim DeMints and Tom Coburns. It’s the southerners. They get on TV and go ‘errrr, errrrr.’ People hear them and say, ‘These people, they’re southerners. The party’s being taken over by southerners. What the hell they got to do with Ohio?’” So next time you and a sexytime friend are on the sidewalk and hear some nearby people saying “errrr, errrrr” to each other, you can turn to your sexytime friend and whisper, “These people, they’re southerners,” and sound cool and smart and learned in tongues, and then you can bone, hooray. [
REPULSIVE OLD DIXIECRAT ZELL MILLER STILL ALIVE, AS PROVEN BY THIS RACIST REMARK ABOUT OBAMA: “Miller punctuated his speech with a not-too-subtle racial barb at President Obama, saying he needs to stop meeting with foreign heads of state and that Rahm Emanuel ought to get some ‘Gorilla Glue’ to keep Obama tied to his chair in the Oval Office.” [
Our new president might say he likes diversity and things, but then why does he not fiscally stimulate the ailing South by hiring some southerners to work for him, HMMM? He has precisely one (1) staffer who hails from below the Mason-Dixon line, one “Robert Gibbs,” who does not count because he has zero neck tattoos and does not listen to Skynyrd. 
Jeez, who’s running this government anyhow? Given his latest string of appointments, it appears Barack Obama favors Indonesian Socialist pansexual witch-doctors such as Tom Daschle and Tim Geithner. This leaves little room for Obama to install in key positions such competent Southerners as … well shit, are there even any Southern Democrats alive anymore? Or are they like the ivory-billed woodpecker, another mythical Southern rarity? 
You would think that John Edwards would have more respect for the nation’s second highest office. After all, he himself was once elected vice president, before Ken Blackwell and voter suppression in Ohio robbed him of the chance to serve as #2 in John Kerry’s Thwarted Reign of Glory. However, after all the vice presidency has done for him, John Edwards has pulled down his pants and pissed all over the notion that he’d run as second fiddle to either Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama. 