Goddamnit Fred Thompson is an idiot. Idiot idiot idiot dumbface! The latest example: Because Rudy Giuliani attended a NASCAR race Sunday, Thompson was probably worried that his redneck capital was being infringed upon. To recover lost hick points in Iowa on Tuesday, Thompson made a NASCAR simile about Democrats. Surely his NASCAR voter base appreciated the comparison. MORE »

The New York Times sent its anthropologists deep into the South and Midwest to determine just what sort of things go on in these godforsaken places and report back to the entrenched liberal elite. Their findings: Gunplay! MORE »