Tag Archives: south korea

  Bleat On The Brat

How Is Obamacare Turning Us Into Nazi North Korea Today?

American Pony is Superior Pony! And Smarter than David Brat.
Gosh, remember when former House Majority Leader Eric Cantor lost his primary to some Tea Party loon named David Brat, and we laughed and laughed and looked forward to all the crazy stupid stuff Brat would do in Congress? Except how Brat was just kind of garden variety dumb, and not generally all that funny? Oh, sure, there was the time he said we don’t need to worry about education funding none, because Socrates just taught on a rock with a stick, and that was funny, but only rated about 450 MilliGohmerts. Read more on How Is Obamacare Turning Us Into Nazi North Korea Today?…
  is our children learning in orbit?

Are Christian Textbooks Teaching That The Moon Landing Was Fake? We Are Only Asking.

Well here’s a head-scratcher, courtesy of John Prager at Americans Against the Tea Party: a photo of a textbook that asks kids what they think — did astronauts really go to the moon? Prager found this image on the interwebs and recalled it as something very similar to what he’d been taught as a child in a small Christian school using textbooks from A Beka and ACE. While Prager’s not 100% sure of the source of this unidentified textbook — it’s also been described by another blog as “an English textbook from South Korea” — he does say that he remembers something similar from my time in Christian school. It is possible that this is A BEKA, but I am not certain if this is the exact material with which I suffered in my childhood, but this does accurately represent what is taught. But why should anyone worry about this sort of thing? Like any number of creationists, it’s simply encouraging elementary school kids to apply their critical thinking skills to a question about which lots of people, even scientists, disagree. Read more on Are Christian Textbooks Teaching That The Moon Landing Was Fake? We Are Only Asking….
  is our children learning? no

American Kids Not Getting Dumber, But Not Getting More Smarter Either

Hello Americans. Today we are writing very slowly, because we know that you don’t read very fast. Or good. And we promise to stay away from complicated math, simple math, and any scientific theories more complicated than gravity, because apparently our kids isn’t learning very good. At all. According to a test administered to 15-year-olds all over the world, per The Hill, “U.S. students failed to reach the top 20 rankings in math, science or reading, according to the National Center for Education Statistics, which organizes the data.” We’re number 1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1!!! Let’s sexplore what who is more smarter than us.  Read more on American Kids Not Getting Dumber, But Not Getting More Smarter Either…
  it wasn't a chicken it was a baby!

Wonkette Global Watch: Just How Freaked Out Should We Be About North Korea This Time?

So maybe you heard this thing about how North Korea says it has nullified the 1953 cease-fire that ended the Korean War, and it has also disconnected its emergency hotline to South Korea. And maybe you are wondering, like we are, whether this is something to be maybe kind of worried about — in that vague way that you worry about things you have absolutely no control over — or if it is just more of the usual ranting from a country that is the Zaphod Beeblebrox of empty threats? After all, North Korea promises that Seoul or Washington DC will be consumed in a “sea of fire” about as regularly as certain wingnuts promise to water the Tree of Liberty with the blood of tyrants. They are like the angry drunken roommate of international politics, always muttering about how he’s gonna take down those fuckers at work one of these days and then just going back to his room and masturbating over the latest issue of Guns & Ammo, or in North Korea’s case, putting on enormous military parades and starving people. And it’s only gotten worse lately, since Muammar Gaddafi is no longer available to share the job of Flamboyant Heavily Armed Dictator Who’s Crazy as a Shithouse Rat. Read more on Wonkette Global Watch: Just How Freaked Out Should We Be About North Korea This Time?…
  (grifter) evolution is real

Why Is Sarah Palin a Crazy Liberal Communist Now All of a Sudden?

BUT WHO WILL FIGHT THE GREEDY CORPORATE PIGS RUNNING THE COUNTRY? Haha, you thought, “the Wall Street protesters.” WRONG. “Sarah Palin” is the correct answer, ever since the five or so seconds ago when she vaguely tuned into the fact that the withered teat of her ruthless teabagger fearmongering is drying up, so she must find some other popular cause to exploit. Here is Sarah “Trotsky 2.0″ Palin speaking out against the American kleptocracy from the seat of its tyrannical rule at some random forum in South Korea: “Today, in my country, particularly in the last few years, a new seductive idea has come on the scene. It involves the growing collaboration between big business, big finance, big government and big union bosses.” Ha ha, kind of! Polls show that 145% of sane people would not characterize this phenomenon as either “new” or “seductive,” but that’s Sarah Palin for you, always with her finger on the pulse of America! Read more on Why Is Sarah Palin a Crazy Liberal Communist Now All of a Sudden?…
  it's morning in america

Egyptian Workers Takin’ It To the Streets

The Egyptian People are still very angry at their trillionaire dictator, even though Dick Cheney has said repeatedly that Mubarak is “a good man” and “an extraordinary [rendition] friend.” And now labor strikes have erupted all over Egypt, including a sit-in by “about 6,000 workers at five service companies owned by the Suez Canal Authority,” and walk-outs at the Health Ministry. Meanwhile, Mubarak has created a committee of judges and legal scholars to propose friendly solutions to all this civil unrest. Apparently this committee is full of Mubarak sympathizers, so they will probably suggest “calling in the scabs.” [NYT] Read more on Egyptian Workers Takin’ It To the Streets… Read more on Egyptian Workers Takin’ It To the Streets…
  wonkette world service

North Korea Attacks South Korea With Angry Faxes

How do you know which side in any conflict has the technological advantage? Hint: It’s not the side sending angry faxes, in 2010. This is what North Korea is doing to South Korea, faxing pages that “blame South Korea for the November 23 artillery attack on Yeonpyeong Island.” Harsh. Also, the faxes have been sent not to the military or the UN counsel or whatever, but to “15 companies, consisting of two religious groups, seven trade companies, five civic groups and one media organization.” Jeez, isn’t anybody afraid of the War Crimes Tribunal anymore? Crazy-ass North Koreans. What next, a Twitter post? (No, that would take functioning computers.) Read more on North Korea Attacks South Korea With Angry Faxes…
  making kim-chi

South Korea Doing Its Best To Get U.S. Into Another War

If Iraq really does wind all the way down, America will only have one war. What will we do with ourselves?! No worries. Defying North Korean threats of violent retaliation and “brutal consequences beyond imagination,” South Korea on Monday staged live-fire artillery drills on an island shelled last month by the North. Read more on South Korea Doing Its Best To Get U.S. Into Another War…
  i feel free

North Korea Wants Eric Clapton

According to diplomacy nip-slip site WikiLeaks, North Korea loves Eric Clapton and wants him to perform in their country as a Clapton-American favor of “good will,” which is what North Koreans call temporarily halting their development of nuclear weapons and targeting of South Koreans to shoot in exchange for free stuff from the West. Or that is what North Korean leaders call it, because the rest of their countrymen have eaten their own larynges as a source of food and thus cannot speak. It is also rumored that Kim Jong-Il’s sons went to Clapton concerts when they were attending school in Switzerland, because all kids, even Kims, like hot tween pop-stars like Eric Clapton. Read more on North Korea Wants Eric Clapton…
  it's morning in america

Scotland Yard Arrests Julian Assange For Unsafe Swedish Sexytime

The Metropolitan Police arrested Julian Assange this morning in London, on suspicion of not wearing a condom in Sweden. (What?) This whole debacle is very quickly developing into some sort of unfortunate James Bond Romcom Bollywood Thriller. One of Assange’s accusers has ties to the CIA, and WikiLeaks has threatened to release the key to a 1.4-gigabyte encrypted file that “contains a ‘deluge’ of secret information,” if anything should happen to their beloved Australian Sex Machine. Meanwhile, righteous basement dwellers Anonymous launched a successful DDOS attack against Switzerland Post Finance, the Swiss bank that recently froze an account being used for Assange’s legal defense fund. What a clusterfuck! Assange will appear before a London court sometime today. UPDATE: Assange has been denied bail and remains in British custody. Now he is being charged with sexing a lady while she was sleeping? [NYT/VOA] Read more on Scotland Yard Arrests Julian Assange For Unsafe Swedish Sexytime… Read more on Scotland Yard Arrests Julian Assange For Unsafe Swedish Sexytime…
  and then she confused the Korean Peninsula with florida

Sarah Palin Basically Declares War On ‘South Korea’

Mama Sasquatch Sarah Palin made a special appearance on Glenn Beck’s famous radio program, “George Soros Is A Jew,” this morning, and good gravy, she talked about some heavy stuff! When asked by one of Beck’s radio lackeys how she would “handle a situation like the one that just developed in North Korea” after she becomes president, Sarah Palin went with the “obvious” answer: “Obviously, we’ve got to stand with our North Korean allies.” So basically Sarah Palin would throw diplomacy in the garbage can and immediately declare war on our “real allies,” the South Koreans, without even talking to them first. That’s a horrible way to treat an old friend. Read more on Sarah Palin Basically Declares War On ‘South Korea’…
  wonkette asia desk

Lil’ Lil’ Kim Bombs Things To Prove He’s a Dick, Too

Did you hear there’s a new “dictator in waiting” in lovely North Korea? He’s the twerp child of the current twerp, who is the child of the OG twerp, because that is how democracy works in the people’s paradise of North Korea. And this new kid, 26-year-old Kim Jong-Un, is “deliberately destabilizing the environment in order to mobilize the military and consolidate his power” — by bombing stuff! North Korea started shelling this little island in South Korean territory because it’s full of civilians and houses. So far, a couple of marines from the south have been killed and a dozen-plus residents are hurt and everything is on fire. Read more on Lil’ Lil’ Kim Bombs Things To Prove He’s a Dick, Too…
  barry can you hear me?

Obama Hits Weird-Japanese-Commercial Portion of Presidency

This week, Barack Obama went over to Asia to see what happens when a model minority owns an entire continent. He obvs already knew, because his hippie mom made him live there in some off-the-grid shack for a hot minute with a foreign non-daddy, but it was worth another look to see if anything had changed, like if a sizable portion of the population had lost or gained an epicanthic fold. Read more on Obama Hits Weird-Japanese-Commercial Portion of Presidency…
  ya burnt jimmy carter

Kim Jong-Il Lets Jimmy Carter Run Country While He’s Away

Oh, Jimmy Carter is in North Korea right now? That’s funny, because Kim Jong-il is in China with his son. Yeah, hope you enjoy talking to a country full of Kim Jong-il’s servants, peanut man, because ol’ Jong face can’t make it in today. Too busy with his gay life partner China. JIMMY CARTER, YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE IN THAT COUNTRY WITH POLITICAL SKILLZ. START A COUP! You may be old and peaceful and old, but he has basically handed you that country for the taking, and you are the only one who has lived your life making decisions for yourself. You are the only one who has run a government! NEW USA! NEW USA! NEW USA! Read more on Kim Jong-Il Lets Jimmy Carter Run Country While He’s Away…
  hot communist mess

North Korea Gets Facebook Account, Says It’s ‘Interested In Men’

As we reported earlier in the week, North Korea now has official state-run Twitter and YouTube accounts, where it posts news videos about important dogs. According to South Korea, who likes to stalk its ex North Korea online, DPRK now has joined your parents and grandparents on Facebook. It does not have a fan page, however; it has a personal account. And it has taken this opportunity to pull a Sam Alito’s daughter: North Korea is gay, according to its profile. Read more on North Korea Gets Facebook Account, Says It’s ‘Interested In Men’…
  blue steel

U.S. Gets Around To Imposing New Sanctions Against North Korea

Hillary Clinton visited the DMZ today to point and say, “That thing over there? That thing is going to pay for what it is doing.” The hot new 2010 edition of U.S. sanctions against North Korea were announced and took a turn on the runway. What’s in fashion this year? “She said the measures would target Pyongyang’s sale and purchase of arms and import of luxury goods, and would help prevent nuclear proliferation.” Good idea, but this will of course somehow just result in more poor people starving. Read more on U.S. Gets Around To Imposing New Sanctions Against North Korea…
  rumors on the internets

Why Can’t the Government Just Send All the Unhealthy People To Bagram and Leave the Rest of Us the Hell Alone?

South Korea was a simple place, a happy place. Then South Korea was introduced to the Internet, and also Starcraft. And now South Korean people want to kill themselves. [Matt Yglesias] Read more on Why Can’t the Government Just Send All the Unhealthy People To Bagram and Leave the Rest of Us the Hell Alone?…
  cartoon violence

Revenge Of The Wrath Of The Return Of The Foreigns

By the Comics CurmudgeonHappy Friday, liberal weenies! Or should I say “suicidally depressing Friday,” because all of you are almost certainly suicidally depressed, what with the naked Republican Ted Kennedies and the coming corporate control of all elections and the bankruptcy of your precious liberal radio station! Anyway, like your liberal weenie foreparents, you will respond to this setback as you have with all others: by sulkily claiming that you’re going to move to some more enlightened Foreign country. But of course, you’ll never actually do this, because it would be hard, and involve improving on those two years of Spanish you took in high school, but in case you ever get the urge to really, really make the plunge and become an ex-pat, you might want to check on the quality of the Foreigns’ political cartoons. They aren’t good! Do you really want to be looking at these in your newspaper every day? Read more on Revenge Of The Wrath Of The Return Of The Foreigns…
  souvenirs

Barack Obama’s Black Belt Cancels Out His Peace Prize!!

Guess what your Barack Obama picked up in South America? Oh nothing, just a tae kwon do black belt given to him by South Korean President Lee Myung-bak, also a black belt. Barry posed for exactly one (1) photo in which he curled his fingers into a loose ball and raised his arm in a vague forward gesture, and now what, we’re just supposed to suddenly find him qualified to teach our kids martial arts after school?? Someone please award the belt posthumously to Ronald Reagan. [Top of the Ticket] Read more on Barack Obama’s Black Belt Cancels Out His Peace Prize!!…
  daily briefing

Presenting The Senate’s Compromisey $849 Billion Health Care Bill

Meet Harry Reid & the Senate’s Health Care Bill: $849 billion, 2,074 pages, no insurance for abortions or illegal immigrants, other characteristics, etc. [CNN] Despite really maxing out every copy editor’s patience with the word “contentious,” Hamid Karzai was sworn-in for another five-year term as President of Afghanistan.  [New York Times] Read more on Presenting The Senate’s Compromisey $849 Billion Health Care Bill…
  daily briefing

North And South Korea’s Two-Minute-Long Korea-Only Sea Battle

Koreas North and South had their first actual battle in seven years. It lasted two minutes, which is understandable given it had been seven years. [New York Times] Nidal Hasan gave some PowerPoint presentation a year and a half ago about how Muslims in the US Army should not be fighting Muslims in other armies. At the time everyone thought this was weird. [Washington Post] Read more on North And South Korea’s Two-Minute-Long Korea-Only Sea Battle…
  daily briefing

Vague Maybe-Terrorism Is Headed Toward, Or Possibly Away, From You RIGHT NOW

The FBI is doing that thing again where it suggests that everyone to get the seriously get the fuck away from any hotels or stadiums, while at the same time claiming that there have been no “specific” threats against specific places like “stadiums” and “hotels.” [CNN] Read more on Vague Maybe-Terrorism Is Headed Toward, Or Possibly Away, From You RIGHT NOW…