Tag: south korea

Carpe abyssium

Gaze Long Into The Trump Foreign Policy And It Gazes Back Into You: A Wonksplainer!

Reading Donald Trump's Wednesday interview with the New York Times, we were struck by the thought that he actually hates America. Holds it in contempt, at least, and thinks it's a pathetic thing that might be just salvageable by the super-genius...

North Korea Knows A Sexy Tyrant Daddy When It Sees One, Gets It Up For Donald Trump

North Korea likes that sexy tyrant daddy Donald Trump
I laugh at you idiots! So much!

Here’s Your Sexxxy President Barack Obama, Calling Donald Trump A Dumbass

Remember that thing about how one of the main reasons Donald Trump is running for president is because Seth Meyers and Barry Bamz "I'll Dick You Down And You'll Like It" Obama made fun of him during the White...
Coulda been worse. They coulda sent Slayer.

Oops, U.S. Military Accidentally Ships Live Anthrax All Over The Place

Oh, man, were there some red faces at the Dugway Proving Ground in Utah when it was discovered that the Army lab there had accidentally sent out live samples of anthrax to labs in six states and South Korea....
American Pony is Superior Pony! And Smarter than David Brat.

How Is Obamacare Turning Us Into Nazi North Korea Today?

Gosh, remember when former House Majority Leader Eric Cantor lost his primary to some Tea Party loon named David Brat, and we laughed and laughed and looked forward to all the crazy stupid stuff Brat would do in Congress?...

Are Christian Textbooks Teaching That The Moon Landing Was Fake? We Are Only Asking.

Well here's a head-scratcher, courtesy of John Prager at Americans Against the Tea Party: a photo of a textbook that asks kids what they think -- did astronauts really go to the moon? Prager found this image on the...

American Kids Not Getting Dumber, But Not Getting More Smarter Either

Hello Americans. Today we are writing very slowly, because we know that you don’t read very fast. Or good. And we promise to stay away from complicated math, simple math, and any scientific theories more complicated than gravity, because...

Wonkette Global Watch: Just How Freaked Out Should We Be About North Korea This Time?

So maybe you heard this thing about how North Korea says it has nullified the 1953 cease-fire that ended the Korean War, and it has also disconnected its emergency hotline to South Korea. And maybe you are wondering, like...

Why Is Sarah Palin a Crazy Liberal Communist Now All of a Sudden?

BUT WHO WILL FIGHT THE GREEDY CORPORATE PIGS RUNNING THE COUNTRY? Haha, you thought, "the Wall Street protesters." WRONG. "Sarah Palin" is the correct answer, ever since the five or so seconds ago when she vaguely tuned into the...

Egyptian Workers Takin’ It To the Streets

The Egyptian People are still very angry at their trillionaire dictator, even though Dick Cheney has said repeatedly that Mubarak is "a good man" and "an extraordinary friend." And now labor strikes have erupted all over Egypt, including...

North Korea Attacks South Korea With Angry Faxes

How do you know which side in any conflict has the technological advantage? Hint: It's not the side sending angry faxes, in 2010. This is what North Korea is doing to South Korea, faxing pages that "blame South Korea...

South Korea Doing Its Best To Get U.S. Into Another War

If Iraq really does wind all the way down, America will only have one war. What will we do with ourselves?! No worries. Defying North Korean threats of violent retaliation and “brutal consequences beyond imagination,” South Korea on Monday...

North Korea Wants Eric Clapton

According to diplomacy nip-slip site WikiLeaks, North Korea loves Eric Clapton and wants him to perform in their country as a Clapton-American favor of "good will," which is what North Koreans call temporarily halting their development of nuclear weapons...

Scotland Yard Arrests Julian Assange For Unsafe Swedish Sexytime

The Metropolitan Police arrested Julian Assange this morning in London, on suspicion of not wearing a condom in Sweden. (What?) This whole debacle is very quickly developing into some sort of unfortunate James Bond Romcom Bollywood Thriller. One of...

Sarah Palin Basically Declares War On ‘South Korea’

Mama Sasquatch Sarah Palin made a special appearance on Glenn Beck's famous radio program, "George Soros Is A Jew," this morning, and good gravy, she talked about some heavy stuff! When asked by one of Beck's radio lackeys how...

Lil’ Lil’ Kim Bombs Things To Prove He’s a Dick, Too

Did you hear there's a new "dictator in waiting" in lovely North Korea? He's the twerp child of the current twerp, who is the child of the OG twerp, because that is how democracy works in the people's paradise...