south carolina
Jim DeMint’s Chosen Successor Maybe Has Had Sex Outside Of Marriage, Burn Him
Oh, you guys think South Carolina freshman Congressman Tim Scott is so great, huh? And that’s why he is awesome dude Jim DeMint’s handpicked successor in the Senate when DeMint goes off to filibuster the Heritage Foundation or whatever? Well what if we told you he might not even be a virgin but might have [...]
Jim DeMint Has Had Enough Of Your Stupid Senate
South Carolina Sen. Jim DeMint (R-R’lyeh) announced that he will resign his U.S. Senate seat in January to become president of the Heritage Foundation. Sen. DeMint, just two years into his second term, will be trading “public service” (i.e., shaping policy to funnel government resources to contributors) for a “position in the private sector” (i.e., [...]
South Carolina Politician Joined The Klan For A While, Wasn’t Super Into It
You know how it goes: you’re young, you’re questioning a lot of things, you’re working as a sheriff’s deputy in South Carolina, and you’re open to some “out there” ideas! Why not experiment with eastern religions? Why not drop some acid? Why not join the Ku Klux Klan? That’s the sort of thing that might [...]
Lindsey Graham Would Like To Feed On White Male Anger
After a convention in which literally every minority in the Republican Party gets to take the stage and chant about the things that “they” (read: the white people watching them) built, it’s time to reflect on how awesome it’s going to be when America is majority-minority and the GOP is ascendant. After all, Chuck Todd [...]
Author of SC Voter ID Law Said ‘Amen’ To Racist Email, Admits It Was Maybe Bad Idea
Are we even slightly surprised anymore to see a story about Republican elected officials at the state or county level treating a racist email as no big deal? No, thought not. Still, this iteration of the meme has implications beyond the usual facepalm and “Oh no, not again.” Here’s the dealio: the email is evidence [...]
Mazel Tov And L’Chaim To That SC Governor Who Ran Off To Argentina And His New Mistress Betrothed!
Oh happy day! We awake to the joyous tidings that former governor Mark Sanford (R-Appalachian Trail) and his lady love, that chick he was flying off to South America to bang, have sealed their passions with an engagement! It’s like a fairy tale, you guys! The [Argentine] paper [Clarin] said Sanford arrived early at the [...]
Next Vice President Nikki Haley Axes Half Mil From Rape Crisis Centers Because They ‘Distract’ From Public Health
First the sluts tried not to die from cervical cancer, but South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley had a national reputation to tend to, so she vetoed voluntary HPV inoculations for teen girls. But what have the sluts done this time? Well, they went and got themselves raped. According to the governor, state funding for rape [...]
SC Gov Nikki Haley Changes Mind, Loves Girls Getting Cervical Cancer Now
South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley used to be one of those terrible sluts who wanted to ram her HPV vaccine down your preteen’s throat. We know this because she cosponsored a bill in the South Carolina legislature that would have mandated HPV vaccinations for preteen girls, thus taking their innocence and instantly turning them all [...]
Joe ‘You Lie’ Wilson’s Wife Also Has Talent for Screaming Outbursts
The weather outlook for South Carolina politics is “veritable shitstorm” for the next month or so owing to the hilarious-tragic inability of either major party to follow state election commission filing rules for candidates, which led the South Carolina Supreme Court last week to issue a monstrous “F” in reading comprehension to 180 candidates who [...]
It’s Been Another Banner Day in News About Truck Nutz
Nashville Nutz Alert operative “Ames” sends your Wonkette this delightful nature photograph of Truck Nutz roaming free and happy in the wilds of a Tennessee parking lot, for all of us to enjoy. Savor it while you can! The Truck Nutz report from South Carolina indicates that over there, the species is being hunted to [...]
Nikki Haley Has Best-Ever Legal Defense Strategy Against Ethics Probe
South Carolina’s dingbat governor Nikki Haley, famous chiefly for being the only human ever rumored to make hot forbidden love with a political blogger, has lately been in trouble for allegedly making hot forbidden legislative favors for her health company employer while she was still a state representative and doing “secret consulting work,” which sounds [...]
Karl Rove Would Like To Troll You With His Electoral Map
The esteemed KARL ROVE & CO. firm is out with its first electoral map of the season, and whoo boy does it show some kinda landslide for Barack Obama, giving him approximately 700 electoral votes. Really, Karl? South Carolina as a toss-up? South Carolina only does two things, and it does them well: voting against [...]
Snot-Nosed South Carolina State Rep. Proves You Must Stop Electing These Whippersnappers
Millennials! First they shit all over your dress code and then when you call them on it they huff off in a snit and then they make up a bunch of unbelievable nonsense about why they didn’t show up to work for two months and then when you’re all “Hi, Republican state Rep. Eric Bikas, [...]
Hawt Lindsey Graham-Jim DeMint Smackdown Basically Imminent
Lame non-magical toad wart Jim DeMint just lives to annoy fellow South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham, doesn’t he? Jim DeMint ruined Lindsey Graham’s dreams of a GOP Senate majority, refused to allocate funding for some local science project that ol’ Ham Biscuits desperately wanted and then voted against Lindsey’s beloved “China you suck” bill to [...]
SC Immigration Law Secretly Exempted Jobs South Carolinians Really Want Mexicans to Do
Well well well. It seems a secret loophole in South Carolina’s anti-immigration law, undoubtedly put in at the behest of Big Nanny, lets South Carolina employers off the hook in checking the immigration status of any potential worker who wants to clean their house, diaper their kids, or pick their strawberries.
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