Wonkette

That honor would go to Paul Krugman, the liberal economist! While Kristol’s column was a vague recap of some already well-aired “spins” on Obama’s big South Carolina win, it wasn’t his usual manic fascism, but still had lots of typos. It was just phoned in. Krugman, on the other hand, offers an interesting new angle to his famous Clinton obsession: Barry’s campaign in 2008 is the exact same thing as Clinton’s in 1992, and look how much shit Clinton had to eat when he took over! In other words, this fairy Obama is doomed for failure like Clinton, whose wife we should now elect. MORE »

Kinda sucks to be Hillary Clinton right now. Ted Kennedy — one of the last two major Democratic endorsers along with Al Gore, who seems to be keeping silent — has endorsed Barry Obama, last night’s big winner. The old fatso’s endorsement has been in the works for a few days, it turns out, so it’s not like he’s ‘tarding out just because of that delightful speech last night. Instead, insiders suggest that it was Kennedy’s history of killing young white bitches in his car that made him feel closer to “the black candidate.” [New York Times]

We should all thank the nation’s first black president, Bill Clinton, for one thing tonight: getting that whiny runt Obama to learn the use of “code words,” a great tool for defeating Republicans. MAYBE THIS IS BILL’S STRATEGY? MORE »

We’ll just put up this video and then we can all take another look, tomorrow, or maybe Monday, and see it it was really something interesting. As Wonkette’s Liz Glover said tonight, having seen Barry’s second-place speech in New Hampshire with Wonkette’s Jim Newell, “We covered the wrong state, dammit!” Luckily, there are about 73 more primary elections, all in the next 10 days.

Wow, look at that doomed face on Hillary. Sure, nobody can manage a real grin when they’ve just been BEATEN LIKE A CHEAP RUG, but still, this is a Clinton. We expect a certain level of invincibility.

Jesus, this already sucks. Let’s live blog it.

MORE »

CHECK OUT OBAMA’S SECURITY TONIGHT: Did his Secret Service detail just get scarily serious? Yes, that is a big happy crazy crowd — and as “diverse” as Barry claims — but we’ve been watching Obama for a while now, and this is the first time those security dudes looked so sharp and serious. We’re sure it has nothing to do with Caroline Kennedy endorsing Barry today in the NYT, under the headline “A President Like My Father.” [New York Times]

“Make no mistake what we’re up against,” Barack Obama tells his crowd. They all go nuts.

Whoops, looks like voting for Hillary means voting for crooked old people who just spent a lot of time at the White House. Well, we have not always been kind to Barry Obama when it comes to his speaking performances, but he is pissed off and you know, it works. You can be pissed off on the teevee if it’s for, as he says, “a higher purpose.” Or “higher calling.” Something like that. MORE »

Here’s a tragically sad cell-phone picture taken by Choire Sicha, who also used to edit this site like everyone else. He’s rocking the John Edwards Victory Party at some restaurant in South Carolina, and it’s probably the most pathetic gathering in our nation’s history. [NY Observer]

BARRY’S A LOSER AGAIN: Obama’s now down to 53% with Hillary at 32% and John Edwards finally up to 15%. Of course this is with about 15,000 votes counted out of maybe 350,000 ballots, so stay tuned and hit refresh constantly because Mike Gravel could still win this thing! [CNN Election Center SC]

With about a thousand votes counted, Barack Obama is the DESTROYER OF WORLDS with 71% of the vote, followed by Hillary/Bill with 21% and Sad John Edwards with like fourteen votes. What will we learn from all of this? How multi-cultural and bi-racial will the coalition become and what should we make of the dominant African-American electorate and the more diversity compared to … Whoops, sorry, we suddenly just started transcribing whatever horseshit they’re jabbering on Wonkette. Congratulations, South Carolinians! You people are so disenfranchised that only 1% of your vote counts!
Obama Victorious In S.C. [The State]

Jesus, that was fast. With, uh, 0% reporting, MSNBC is projecting a massive victory for Barry Hussein Barack Obama and a crushing, horrific, humbling defeat for Hillary and Bill Clinton. Just kidding about the last part. MORE »

And now that other great political party is choosing a nominee in South Carolina, as this important Washington Post news graphic illustrates. What do we know so far? It’s going to be a record turnout! Weather’s good, proving once again that God doesn’t exist. 45 convention delegates are up for grabs. And everything’s “racially charged.” Did we mention the hilarity of nature’s clowns, the monkeys? [Washington Post, The State]

Lord knows where he got the funding for this modern epic, but it seems to be a waste. Seriously, the cheesy voiceover guy with the movie trailer theme? If you’re going to go down that road, at least have some gun fights or explosions or snippets of you beating the shit out of a Merck executive in that mill you keep talking about.