Tag: south carolina

Can This Nice Trans Lady Beat Gross Teabagger GOP Sen. Mike Lee In November?

Misty K. Snow MAKES HISTORY as the first major party trans U.S. Senate Candidate. Hooray, Misty!

Lindsey Graham Two Jameson Shots Away From Shrieking, ‘I’m With Her, Y’all!’

Lindsey Graham is APPALLED, we tell you, APPALLED, by Donald Trump's impolite racism!

Gov. Nikki Haley Wishes Donald Trump Wouldn’t Act So Ugly To The Minorities, Bless His Heart

She doesn't think Trump or his supporters are actually racist or anything, heck no, why would you say that?
Borned stupid.

Ted Cruz’s Dildos Squeezed Their Way Into Your Weekly Top Ten

What up, our Wonkette bros and lady-bros, are you ready to get a Top Ten list crammed at your face? GOOD. We had some weird news this week, about Ted Cruz's Dildo Issues. And also some other things too!...

Moderate John Kasich Wishes Gays And Gay-Bashers Would Just Be Sweet To Each Other

Why can't we all just get along? That is what John Kasich needs to know right now. Because he sees his Republican governor pals signing these insane anti-LGBT laws, and he knows there wouldn't even be a problem if...

Gov. Nikki Haley Not Entirely Sure Why Y’all Gotta Be Such Bigots

It is a day in America, which means it's time to tell you about some new bullshit anti-LGBT legislation. Republican state Senator Lee Bright of South Carolina has introduced a bill (S. 1203) to make sure none of those big scary...
NOPE!

Even Ted Cruz ‘Supporters’ Think He Sucks

It's possible we are enjoying ourselves entirely too much as we watch the Republican Party eat itself alive, choke on its own bone, vomit up undigested chunks of itself, and slip-n-fall in its own sick. The orgasmic pleasure we derive is probably...
Answers is tough and is not my favorite.

Marco Rubio Pulls Out Stunning Second Place Win In Florida, Quits GOP Race Like Loser He Is

Marco Rubio, goddamned loser that he is, lost the Florida primary, and his campaign is SO over, bro. Rubio told his supporter(s) he was suspending his campaign Tuesday night, after every news organization in the universe simultaneously punched him...
Soon, she will be feeding the tree of liberty.

Idaho Defends Crucial Parental Right To Let Own Kids Die For Funsies

Oh, Idaho. Poor, sad, desperately WTF Idaho, the Florida of the part of the country you always forget exists. What the H-E-double hockey sticks are you up to now? Oh, just protecting the right of parents to let their children die,...
He's just saying! That Lindsey Graham is stupid and here is his phone number.

Congressional Republicans Finally Accepting Reality That Trump Is Their New Daddy

They said it couldn't be done. Who is they? You know, they. Donald Trump won't really run for president. Donald Trump won't really make it to Iowa. Donald Trump won't really win any states. Donald Trump won't really blah blah...

Marco Rubio Is A Lot Like Harry Potter, And All These Other Fictional Characters

Did you know Marco Rubio is exactly like Harry Potter? Well, apart from the whole "Harry Potter wins in the end" thing. And the "Harry Potter is a sympathetic character" thing. And the "Harry Potter isn't a sad, annoying...

How Many Saviors Must Die For The Sins Of Evil Ted Cruz?

The fun thing about watching Republicans beat each other to death with their fists and their "brains" and whatever other blunt instruments are handy is that you don't even have to pick a side, because you hope they all lose. Take,...

Bob Dole’s Limp Penis Endorses Marco Rubio

Marco Rubio is doing so awesome at winning not first place in the Republican primary! Last week, he received the "Fine, you're better than Jeb I guess" nod from South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley, which helped him sweep second-ish place on...
Hey, that dude looks like Breitbart!

Ted Cruz Sorry For Saying Marco Rubio Hates Your Stupid Bible

Oh, goody, the 2016 presidential campaign has descended into that inevitable phase where one campaign accuses another of hatin' on the Holy Bible. Thanks to some really muddy audio in a short video clip of Marco Rubio encountering Ted...

In Which My Husband Takes Vicious, Belated Pleasure In General Sherman’s March To The Sea

There was a methy, crunchy-faced man in the gas station, glaring fire at us. My husband let his testosterone rise, ready to strike like a viper, should the need arise, at the man he contemptuously described as "what all...

Donald Trump Just Askin’ If Marco Rubio Is Also A Foreign From Canada

While Donald Trump technically won the South Carolina primary on Saturday, in that he received more votes than anyone else and also got all of the delegates, Marco Rubio also won, in a way. In the way that he...