Tag Archives: south carolina

  too bad there are no other guns in the Middle East :(

Ben Carson: The Only Way To Stop A Bad ISIS With A Gun Is A Good ISIS With A Gun

It's very hard to memorize all the NRA's talking points.
Ben Carson is revealing some of his secret campaign platform magic early, hurray! We thought we would have to wait until Monday, May 4, when Carson officially announces his failed presidential run, to learn how Carson would handle pressing things like ISIS, but the wait is over! Just give everybody guns, because there sure aren’t enough guns over in those Middle East parts! Read more on Ben Carson: The Only Way To Stop A Bad ISIS With A Gun Is A Good ISIS With A Gun…
  The Second Amendment does not rest on Sundays sheeple

North Carolina Won’t Let You Hunt On Sundays, Thanks Obama

Yay, puns!
Did you know that in Obama’s America (okay, Obama’s North Carolina), you can’t wake up on Sunday morning and go hunting? No, seriously, this is a thing! Under current law, hunters, on their own property, or with the property owner’s permission, are not allowed to decide that Sunday is a good day to say “screw church” and set to the truly worshipful task of bagging a buck. So members of the North Carolina House are trying to fix that with HB 640. But who’s against it? Church people! Even though the law says you can’t hunt within 300 yards of a church, these obviously crazy people are worried about things like stray bullets hitting Nana while she’s singing “Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow,” like stray bullets even exist. Read more on North Carolina Won’t Let You Hunt On Sundays, Thanks Obama…
  Bummer About The Congressional Seat Though

It’s Come To This: Republican Wins JFK ‘Courage’ Prize For Believing Science

So here’s how bad our political world has gotten: The 2015 recipient of the John F. Kennedy Profile in Courage Award is former South Carolina congressman Bob Inglis, who won the award for being an actual Republican who’s willing to say in public that climate change is real and caused by human activity. Apparently that is rare enough that it’s considered courageous. Read more on It’s Come To This: Republican Wins JFK ‘Courage’ Prize For Believing Science…
  Now how's about all you lezbogays get in the kitchen and make South Carolina a sammich?

South Carolina Waves Constitution Around To Prove Gays Can’t Get Married And Ladies Are Chattel

South Carolina woman no longer protected by the 14th Amendment, we guess.
The Supreme Court is planning to hear arguments at the end of April in Buttsechs v. Phyllis Schlafly (not what it’s really called), the case they will most likely use to permanently cram gay marriage into the throats and bottoms of all the American people. This means that everyone and their wingnut uncle is submitting an amicus brief that says either “here is why I want to be able to marry the person I love” or “God will bomb America with fire if we let those faggots destroy our way of life!” But the state of South Carolina has sent the Supreme Court a truly stunning love note, which essentially says that due to the 14th Amendment, they are TOO allowed to discriminate against the homosexuals. Why? Because the 14th Amendment says they can also clearly discriminate against ladies. According to this logic, ladies are just like gays, in that they are inferior to straight white Christian slaveowners, wait what? Read more on South Carolina Waves Constitution Around To Prove Gays Can’t Get Married And Ladies Are Chattel…
  Cop Already Wants Change Of Venue To Ferguson

Pigs Fly, Hell Freezes Over, Cop Charged In Murder Of Black Man

Here's a scene that will be in all the year in review montages
In a surprising departure from the usual script, a police shooting of an unarmed black man has resulted in the police officer being charged with murder. Michael Slager, 33, a police officer in North Charleston, South Carolina, was fired from the police department and charged with the murder of Walter L. Scott, 50, after pulling Scott over for a broken brake light. Read more on Pigs Fly, Hell Freezes Over, Cop Charged In Murder Of Black Man…
  At Least He Never Made Anyone Bake A Gay Cake

‘Family Values’ Lunatic Todd Kincannon Arrested Just For Showing Wife Who’s Boss

We assume he just dresses like that anyway, because in Obama's America, no one is free
Now there’s a mugshot that ought to gladden the hearts of many. Rightwing bile duct and former chairman of the South Carolina GOP Todd Kincannon was arrested Monday evening and is facing a charge of criminal domestic violence charge in court Tuesday. His arrest follows a March 26 incident in which Kincannon’s wife, Ashely Griffith, said that he had threatened to kill her, her family, and himself during a terror-filled drive home from a work event; she also told a Lexington County, South Carolina, sheriff’s deputy that they had a “history of unreported domestic violence” and that she feared Kincannon. Read more on ‘Family Values’ Lunatic Todd Kincannon Arrested Just For Showing Wife Who’s Boss…
  Pence is highly offended by all your rude comments about Indiana

Everyone Is Laughing At That Poor Dumb Idiot, Indiana Gov. Mike Pence

The Indianapolis Star‘s Tuesday edition is a bit stunning, in that the entire front page is devoted to an editorial demanding that Indiana lawmakers “FIX THIS NOW.” They are of course referring to the Fuck The Gays law, signed by Indiana Gov. Mike Pence, which has single-handedly sent the state to number one on pretty much everyone’s list of “states where I do not wish to find myself stranded.” Read more on Everyone Is Laughing At That Poor Dumb Idiot, Indiana Gov. Mike Pence…
  The Last Guy You'd Suspect. Or The First.

Rightwing Sociopath Todd Kincannon Didn’t Domestic Abuse His Wife; He Was Just On Drugs

This is from TV, so presumably he's unmedicated here. God help us.
Always nice to start off the week with an entry for the “We Completely Believe This” file: rightwing bloviator and former head of the South Carolina GOP Todd Kincannon was accused of threatening his wife and forcibly refusing to let her get out of his car last Thursday, but don’t worry, there was no arrest in the incident and Todd Kincannon is no spouse abuser — he was simply in the throes of an intense allergic reaction to some cough medicine, he says. We’re pretty certain that still leaves no excuse for the rest of his career as a flaming rightwing poopbag. Read more on Rightwing Sociopath Todd Kincannon Didn’t Domestic Abuse His Wife; He Was Just On Drugs…
  a feature not a bug

If Kansas Jumped Off A Bridge, Would Other States Do It Too? Apparently Yes!

That bridge sucked anyway.
You may be familiar with the state of Kansas, where Governor Sam Brownback and the ruling GOP have conducted what Brownback has called a “great experiment” in conservative economics. They’ve radically slashed income taxes, especially for top earners, on the theory that liberating this money will supercharge the economy; businesses will flock in, new jobs will be created, and an orgy of private sector commerce will fill the budget hole caused by the tax cuts. Read more on If Kansas Jumped Off A Bridge, Would Other States Do It Too? Apparently Yes!…
 

Judge To Obama: Stop Letting In All Those Immigrants Who Are Already Here!

Screw you, huddled masses
Wednesday was supposed to be the day President Obama officially rolled out the Kenyan welcome mat for all them illegals who’ve already snuck across our border to infect us with diseases and their strange foreign languages. But oh no, you can un-unfurl that Hispanic flag over the White House, Mr. Thinks He’s So President, because United States District Judge Andrew S. Hanen has put a stop to that nonsense, at least for now. Read more on Judge To Obama: Stop Letting In All Those Immigrants Who Are Already Here!…
  Adam's rib is delicious with BBQ sauce

What ‘Lesser Cut Of Meat’ Are Women? Like A Flank Steak Maybe?

Not actually a state senator
So there is this Republican state senator in South Carolina, Tom Corbin, who loves freedom and guns and all those good Republican things, and he sure seems like a real swell guy. He also has some neat thoughts on women — or at least, the one woman in South Carolina’s state Senate, equality, yay! — and how they she shouldn’t be in his special boys’ club of state senator boys, for boys only. Read more on What ‘Lesser Cut Of Meat’ Are Women? Like A Flank Steak Maybe?…
  Rarely Is It Asked: Is Our State Legislators Learning?

SC Republican Just Wants Judges To Pass Religious Test, What’s Wrong With That?

He has a gun, let's vote for him!
South Carolina state Rep. Jonathon Hill is just an inquisitive guy who wants to be well-informed about state judicial candidates. That’s the only reason he sent a questionnaire just crawling with completely unconstitutional questions to candidates for judgeships. In South Carolina, judges are elected by state legislators, so Hill, a bright young conservative who is 29 years old, thought he’d look into some important questions to help him decide who belongs on the bench. Here are a few things he wanted to know: Read more on SC Republican Just Wants Judges To Pass Religious Test, What’s Wrong With That?…
  Justice Nice Time

South Carolina Rushes To Overturn Convictions Of Civil Rights Protesters … From 1961

The moral arc of the universe gets one right
The Friendship 9 in jail, 1961. Image from NBC News The town of Rock Hill, South Carolina, took a step to right an injustice from the Civil Rights era, vacating the 1961 trespassing convictions of nine protesters who spent 30 days on a chain gang for attempting to sit at a whites-only lunch counter in McCrory’s Drug Store. The eight surviving members of the group, who were all students at Friendship College in 1961, had their convictions overturned by Circuit Court Judge John C. Hayes III, who is the nephew of the judge who sent them to jail in 1961. Read more on South Carolina Rushes To Overturn Convictions Of Civil Rights Protesters … From 1961…
  Here have some news n stuff

Good Job, Everyone! 2014 Was The Hottest Year Ever, And It’s All Our Fault

We set a new record in 2014, heating our oceans and destroying this one and only planet we live on, but it’s OK because some “scientist” somewhere says it’s a hoax and God will take care of it anyway. High fives and trophies and gold stars for everybody! Read more on Good Job, Everyone! 2014 Was The Hottest Year Ever, And It’s All Our Fault…
  news of the weird

South Carolina Republican Wants To Take Guns From Lady-Beaters. No, Seriously.

Us, right now.
Hey there South Carolina, birthplace of the Late Unpleasantness, state that gave Newt Gingrich his sole primary victory in 2012, and home base of this asshole. What crazy shenanigans are you up to now? Oh, just trying to pass a bill that would make it illegal for domestic abusers to own guns. Ha ha, you impetuous hicks, you—wait, what? That sounds like a sane and reasonable idea. What in the hell? Read more on South Carolina Republican Wants To Take Guns From Lady-Beaters. No, Seriously….
  Lock-N-Load High School

South Carolina Will Learn Your Kids To Love The Second Amendment Proper

Why are they pledging allegiance to an Austrian Glock?
Forget the kerfuffle over the revised Advanced Placement U.S. History standards, or funding for education, or Common Core or any of that. Legislators in the Great State of South Carolina want to bring some Education Reform that will really improve the schools: Two bills have been introduced that will promote appreciation of the Second Amendment, the only part of the Constitution that really matters. One bill would allow schools to offer either marksmanship or gun safety classes as electives, and another would: Read more on South Carolina Will Learn Your Kids To Love The Second Amendment Proper…
  What The (Bleep!) Does Anyone Know?

2014: The Year Of Terrible Science From People Saying ‘I’m Not A Scientist’

Science: now officially optional!
We know that politicians actually started saying “I’m not a scientist” well before 2014 — Marco Rubio adopted it in 2012 when asked how old the earth was — but this was definitely the year it became Republicans’ go-to strategy for avoiding journalists’ questions about global warming and/or evolution. On matters of climate, it’s a fine supplement to the previous favorite dodge, “I believe the climate is always changing.” And what a fine year of not-science the Right has given us! Read more on 2014: The Year Of Terrible Science From People Saying ‘I’m Not A Scientist’…
  Poll Axed

South Carolina Exit Poll Seeks Accurate Measurement Of Black Uppitiness

Everybody has a logo
In today’s “You’re sure this isn’t from National Report?” news — because it sounds like bullshit, but isn’t witty enough to be from The Onion — we have this story out of South Carolina, where voters in several cities were asked some perfectly reasonable questions as part of an exit poll Tuesday. Four of the questions touched on race and slavery; respondents were asked to “agree” or “disagree” with these statements: Read more on South Carolina Exit Poll Seeks Accurate Measurement Of Black Uppitiness…
  #ReadyForGraham

Lindsey Graham Turns Other Cheek, Will Not Seek Bloody, Stabby, Murdery ‘Revenge’

Aw, he's so nice
We have been so sexcited ever since South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham teased that he just might have to run for president in 2016 so all the rich white men who belong to men-only clubs will finally have their own president for the first time ever. And since Graham won re-election on Tuesday night — narrowly beating “Petitioning candidate” Thomas Ravenel, Libertarian Victor Kocher, and the Democratic sacrificial lamb Brad Hutto with a mere 54.58 percent of the vote — not to mention his universal popularity throughout the country, his road to the White House is all but assured. Plus, he is just so darned gracious in victory: Read more on Lindsey Graham Turns Other Cheek, Will Not Seek Bloody, Stabby, Murdery ‘Revenge’…
  This will definitely work

President Lindsey Graham Will Be Great For Rich White Men

Here's one idea that will never work
Lindsey Graham, the senator from South Carolina, has always seemed content to be the third wheel, the sidekick, the woman behind behind the man. He was the weakest, most soft-spoken link in the ménage à trois that was John McCain and Joe Lieberman, until Joe was chased from office because even his own party of one, Connecticut for Lieberman, did not like him anymore. Lindsey got himself a slight promotion when newbie Sen. Kelly Ayotte was added to the team, but still, Lindsey’s usually been content to co-sign whatever John McCain says, to nod agreeably in the background, and only very rarely drag his southern charmed self onto the Sunday shows when John’s busy snarling at the kids to get off of one of his seven or eight or however many he has lawns. Read more on President Lindsey Graham Will Be Great For Rich White Men…
  Here have some news n stuff

One Guy In New York Has Ebola So You Can Totally Panic Now

Thanks Obama
That screaming hysteria you hear is the sound of everyone in New York being EXTREMELY TERRIFIED!!! or at least making jokes about being EXTREMELY TERRIFIED!!! because Ebola is real now. (You know the rule: It’s real when it happens in New York. The rest is prologue.) Read more on One Guy In New York Has Ebola So You Can Totally Panic Now…
  South Carolina’s a hell of a drug

Gov. Nikki Haley Wants To Arm All The Lady-Beaters, For The Constitution

That's just how freedom works, too bad
Gov. Nikki Haley of South Carolina runs a hell of a state. It’s the kind of state where Stand Your Ground laws don’t apply to victims of domestic violence — because that would be ridiculous! — and it’s still A-OK to let your Confederate freak flag fly because the out-of-state CEOs Haley talks to don’t have a problem with it. Also, she ended racism by getting elected, YOU’RE WELCOME. Read more on Gov. Nikki Haley Wants To Arm All The Lady-Beaters, For The Constitution…