• MARK SANFORD IS MOST FAMOUS PERSON IN SOUTH AMERICA: Here’s a fun story about how embarrassing South Carolina is, on a global scale: “He was in Peru, on a train from Cusco to Machu Picchu, when he and his wife began chatting with another couple. Where, Harpootlian asked, are you from? Rio, came the response, and you? South Carolina, Harpootlian replied. Mark Sanford! the couple exclaimed. Argentina!” [LA Times]

John McCain and pals had a lot of fun criticizing Obama for never visiting Iraq. But then Obama announced he would be visiting Iraq after all, in another one of his terrible flip-flops. Well Walnuts, where should inexperienced adult-child Barack Obama go after that? Plane tickets are more expensive by the day, you know: “McCain, who has criticized Obama for not having been to Iraq since 2006, said it was now time for Obama to also go to South America.” After Obama capitulates and makes this trip too, we look forward to the inevitable McCain “wisecrack” that Barack Obama next should “go back to Africa.” [AP]

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While our very hungry president is supposedly back from his Latin American “please let me move down here” trip, the photographs remain. We just found a huge collection of pix from the Brazil jaunt, including favorites like the one above and some very spooky close-ups of the security details and presidential limos and all that. Details and a few samples, after the jump.

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Guess who’s maybe getting engaged to Karl Rove’s former intern? The great Holocaust author Jenna Bush, that’s who! MORE »

President Bush: Hungry for diplomacy! And food. Mostly food. MORE »

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This isn’t the usual Yanquee Go Home stuff — they really hate the guy’s guts. Why the rude welcome? For six years, the administration has ignored Latin America except for “punishing in some way those who disagreed with Washington, and decreasing funding for developmental assistance, child survival and health programs.” Starting wars everywhere, launching a failed coup against Hugo Chavez, congratulating the White House choice in a Mexican presidential election that was still in dispute, putting right-wing zealots in charge of U.S.-Latin American affairs … not since the Reagan-Contra days has Latin America had so many reasons to hate Washington. The 45-year-long U.S. embargo against Cuba doesn’t help, either.

But enough about these people and their problems. Are Brazilian protesters hot? Find out, after the jump.

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As the Bush Dynasty prepares for exile in South America, first twin Jenna Bush claims all her Latin American secret diplomatic missions were really just research trips for her bitchin’ new book about a poor gal in Panama who has both a baby and the AIDS. MORE »

* Bi-partisan “Walter Reed Study Group” soon to be as ignored as the limbless soldiers themselves. [WP, NYT, WSJ, LAT]
* “One conservative lawmaker, who spoke on condition of anonymity for fear of angering Democratic leaders, dismissed Murtha’s approach as ‘too cute by half.’” [WP]
* President Bush heads to South America to bring a message that “We care,” as well as, “I ain’t fucking ending up like Slobodan.” [WP, NYT]
* Hillary Clinton: “the cliché of contemporary politics .” [NYT]
* Dick Cheney is handing out lollipops and venous thrombosis, and he’s all out of lollipops. [NYT]
* Will Heather Wilson try to get people fired from the House Ethics Committee for failing to investigate her? [WP]
* Air travel to get even more depressing without a lithium laptop battery to lick. [USAT]

The preparations are finished, the massive land holdings have been purchased, the huge military base is in hand and Jenna has made her rounds of high-level diplomatic negotiations. Finally, the Bushes can escape to South America before they’re convicted of War Crimes and executed on YouTube.

Read the dirty details, after the jump.

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