Tag Archives: south africa

  Bic Muffs Chik Stuff

Bic Sorry For Being A Dic In Sexist South African Ad

Fuck up like an ad agency
So here’s one way to really win the Lady Demographic: On a South African holiday celebrating women’s achievements, Bic, the maker of writing utensils, ran a Facebook post with the empowering message, “Think like a man.” Maybe they should have been even more empowering and changed the slogan to “Think like a male ad executive thinks an empowered woman might think. And show some cleavage, babe.” It’s almost as brilliant a marketing fail as that time the Goldman Sachs gave women at a tech convention a pretty makeup mirrors and nail files. Read more on Bic Sorry For Being A Dic In Sexist South African Ad…
  This is not goddamned racial transcendence

Scott Walker Wishes Blacks Would Be Nicer About All This Racism Stuff

nope
Racial transcendence, how does IT work? Republican candidate and Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker attempted to explain it while campaigning in Spartanburg, South Carolina, but he is a Republican, so he did a real bad job. You see, according to Walker, we’re never going to have racial unity if we acknowledge that racial discord exists, and also, it would be nice if blacks would just be sweet and nice and forgiving when their folks get murdered, like they did in Charleston. Unlike those mean Ferguson people, who are probably playing the race card and reverse-racisting America right now. Did Walker say those exact words? Oh heavens no, but yr Wonkette is a very good Wingnut-To-English translator. Here is what exactly he said: Read more on Scott Walker Wishes Blacks Would Be Nicer About All This Racism Stuff…
  Why can't they just go somewhere else?

Stupid Fox News Idiots Confused Why Sharks Always Live In The Ocean So Much

Sharks is confusing!
Making fun of “Fox & Friends” twice in one day? SOLD! Here is your video of the dumbshit couch talking about a very scary shark attack that happened in South Africa to surfer Mick Fanning, and how it’s one thing when normal swimmers get attacked by sharks, but when big important surfers get attacked by sharks, then we have a problem, because don’t the sharks even know who they’re messing with? (They are messing with humans, who, even when they are badass surfers, are smaller and not as badass as sharks.) Read more on Stupid Fox News Idiots Confused Why Sharks Always Live In The Ocean So Much…
  this digression will not stand man

Sundays With The Christianists: U.S. History Textbooks That Do Not Like Broccoli

After a million weeks on Ronald Reagan, the Greatest President Ever, our survey of a couple of rightwing Christian textbooks will devote about 1500 words to his successor, George Herbert Walker Kennebunkport Milli Vanilli Bush, the 41st President and only the second-worst President named “George Bush.” And Happy Father’s Day to a very middling president whose son managed to make him look like a freakin’ statesman. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: U.S. History Textbooks That Do Not Like Broccoli…
  just sing about jesus & drink wine all day

Gun Guy Larry Pratt Wonders Why Our Blacks Can’t Just Sing And Be Happy Like The African Ones

Larry Pratt, the descriptively named executive director of Gun Owners of America, has figured out how to improve The Blacks in America: In a recent radio interview, he explained that American blacks would have a much better time of it if they could just be more like “the African from Africa.” You know, that one guy. Pratt, who has previously warned about the private army of blacks that Obama is building to foment race war in the USA, spoke last month with Selwyn Duke on the “Gun Owners News Hour” — proving again that every rightwinger has a podcast — and they went over the usual news, like how Obama is converting the U.S. military into “a martial law ready” force by promoting minorities above whites, and then they got to the more arcane stuff about how American blacks could really learn a lot about good attitudes from Africans from the Africa: “Generally, the African from Africa is a very pro-American person, a very happy person,” Pratt said. “I know several, and they’re always happy with a joke, a pleasant smile on their face, and they clearly don’t identify with the surliness that’s all too frequently the attitude of their fellow African Americans here.” And Larry Pratt sure could learn a lot from trying to emulate human beings, now couldn’t he? Read more on Gun Guy Larry Pratt Wonders Why Our Blacks Can’t Just Sing And Be Happy Like The African Ones…
  manual labor

Possibly Fake Sign Language Guy At Mandela Memorial Was Pretty Much Just Signing Sarah Palin Speeches

Never mind that handshake between the two commies, the real question at hand is what the heck is that guy next to the podium doing? According to deaf South Africans, it sure as hell isn’t South African Sign Language (and it’s also not American Sign, either). As far as anyone can tell, the guy is just making up gestures, repeating himself, and “signing” gibberish: Bruno Druchen, the national director of the Deaf Federation of South Africa said the unnamed man seen on television next to leaders such as US President Barack Obama “was moving his hands around but there was no meaning in what he used his hands for.” How did this happen? Who is this man? Was this all part of George Costanza’s wacky scheme to try to impress Marlee Matlin? Read more on Possibly Fake Sign Language Guy At Mandela Memorial Was Pretty Much Just Signing Sarah Palin Speeches…
  pining for the bantustans

WND Smart Man Erik Rush Wishes People Would Remember Good Sides Of Apartheid Too

It’s maybe too late to stop people from getting all carried away, but wackaloon WND writer and frequent Fox News guest Erik Rush just wants to inject a note of caution into all this hoopla over the passing of Nelson Mandela. Oh, sure, people say he was a great man and all, but isn’t all this celebration of an old guy who wore colorful shirts overlooking a couple of key points? On his radio program last week, Rush suggested that what’s really needed is a strong dose of perspective: “You know I hate to rain on the parade here, but there really isn’t a whole lot to celebrate aside from this synthetic symbolism that is being made out of someone who, you know, didn’t do much,” Rush said. “Apartheid went away, great. There are South African blacks who have told friends of mine they wish it was back because the country was safer, if you can believe that.” Yeah, stupid South Africans, why do you insist on celebrating the life of one-man-crime-spree Nelson Mandela? Read more on WND Smart Man Erik Rush Wishes People Would Remember Good Sides Of Apartheid Too…
  they see me trollin'

Obama Touches Raul Castro’s Communist Fingers At Mandela Funeral, Wingnuts Outraged

Monstrous America-hating monster Barack Obama touched a communist today at the memorial service for Nelson Mandela, leading to fairly predictable speculation that the handshake with Cuban President Raul Castro was either evidence of warming relations between the two countries, or proof that Obama shares Mandela’s love for communism, terrorism, and hating Israel. Plus, maybe Obama bowed. Check the video! Was that a bow? Castro’s shorter, so yeah, definitely a bow! Did he whisper state secrets into the communist leader’s ear? INPEACH! Besides, everybody knows you are supposed to spit on people at state funerals and then kick them in the nuts. This Barack Hussein Obama has obviously never read Miss Manners. Read more on Obama Touches Raul Castro’s Communist Fingers At Mandela Funeral, Wingnuts Outraged…
  Sad face nice time

Why We Will Miss Nelson Mandela In A Feministy Way

We are still having sads that Nelson Mandela, who was a far better human being than all of us combined times 12, died on Thursday. He was a genuine, good-hearted badass who pissed off all the right people. Ronald Reagan? Check. Dick Cheney? Check. Jesse Helms? Check. And he was also a genuine, good-hearted feminist badass, as Erin Gloria Ryan femsplained at Jezebel. He fought for a Women’s Bill of Rights. He fought for free health care for children and pre- and post-natal care for their mothers. Also too this: Mandela was key in promoting the adoption of the Constitution of the Republic of South Africa in 1997, which contained passages guaranteeing gender equality and prohibiting sexual discrimination. Seriously, go read the whole thing right now, but then come back here because you will definitely want to know about this other thing he did in 1996. Read more on Why We Will Miss Nelson Mandela In A Feministy Way…
  global nice time

Barack Obama Arrives Home In Africa, Cures AIDS And Stuff

With so much Nice TimeTM happening in the U.S. recently (Texas badass womyns & mandatory gay marriages) we thought this would be a good time to talk about some Global Nice Time. As President Obama travels to Africa to retrieve his actual birth certificate, there is good news coming from several African countries: Seven countries in sub-Saharan Africa, the world’s worst-hit region in the global AIDS epidemic, have cut the number of new HIV infections in children by 50 percent since 2009, the United Nations AIDS programme said on Tuesday. The dramatic reductions – in Botswana, Ethiopia, Ghana, Malawi, Namibia, South Africa and Zambia – mean tens of thousands more babies are now being born free of HIV, UNAIDS said in a report on its Global Plan to tackle the disease in around 20 of the worst affected countries. Holy shit – 50% reductions in 4 years is REALLY good, people. As the Our Glorious Leader and North Star of Socialism begins his trip through Senegal, Tanzania and South Africa, let’s learn more about how he is personally curing AIDS, making blind men see, and walking across rivers all over that continent! Read more on Barack Obama Arrives Home In Africa, Cures AIDS And Stuff…
  Part 24: Good End Times Man

Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Book That’s Ready For Apocalypse, Now

Well, time tourists, we have made it to our final visit to our 10th grade textbook for homeschoolers, World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective. This post will be a bit longish, because there’s a whole lot of crazy to cover between the fall of the USSR and the end of the world, but we want to wrap this book up today so next week we can read some Christianist Sex Ed. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Book That’s Ready For Apocalypse, Now…
  History Is Written by the Whiners

Fun With Christianists: Things You Can Learn in a Christian ‘World History & Cultures’ Textbook (Part 1)

You know the drill by now: Every Sunday, we visit Christianist America, where Jesus delivered the Constitution to George Washington but now Christians are somehow a persecuted minority. This week’s travelogue comes courtesy of World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective, 2nd Ed. (A Beka Book, 1997), a 10th-grade history text which the publisher’s website says “stands on the conviction that God is the Creator of the world and the Controller of history.” You get a good sense of World History’s agenda from the table of contents. “Asia and Africa” are dealt with in the first 6 chapters — “The Middle East” and “Egypt” each merit their own chapter, because Bible, duh. And then the entire history of these two continents, which account for 75% of the planet’s population, is polished off within 40 pages, in chapters imaginatively titled “Other Asian Cultures” and “Other African Cultures” (Actual section heading: The Dark Continent. This is not inside ironic quotes). Most chapters and sections have the bland, utilitarian headings of any high school text — but then there are the subtle reminders that this is a fundamentalist Christian textbook: Rome: Preparation of the World for Christ Unbelief and Revolution in 19th-Century Europe Concepts in History: Why Communism Kills Twentieth-Century Liberalism; Retreat from Authority and Responsibility Concepts in History: Environmental Extremism Read more on Fun With Christianists: Things You Can Learn in a Christian ‘World History & Cultures’ Textbook (Part 1)…
  flotus files

FLOTUS Tells Archbishop Desmond Tutu To Drop and Give Her Twenty

America must once again put down the Hostess snacks, because our FLOTUS has returned from her trip to Africa. This adventure went much better than last year’s Spain fiasco, maybe because there are fewer secret Muslims in South Africa? No one knows! Of course, it wouldn’t be a real FLOTUS vacation without some dumb non-controversy about how Michelle Obama is proving all the obese people right, by eating french fries, so here you go. This is not interesting to true FLOTUS fans, who would prefer to instead see our FLOTUS do push-ups with Archbishop Desmond Tutu. Read more on FLOTUS Tells Archbishop Desmond Tutu To Drop and Give Her Twenty…
  flotus files

Obama Ladies Plan Mysterious African Adventure

Remember late last summer, when Michelle Obama thought it would be fun to take her daughters on a trip to Spain, and then America had a heart attack, because apparently a good First Lady would pretend to be poor as a courtesy to the rest of the country, which is actually poor? Well, great news! Our FLOTUS is about to embark upon her Summer Madness Tour once again, and this time, she’s skipping the Spanish mosques and heading to a continent that is still likely to offend Americans, somehow. Our FLOTUS is off to Africa! Read more on Obama Ladies Plan Mysterious African Adventure…
 

Congress Errantly To Take Away Mandela’s Terrorist Label

The United States Government still rightly classifies Nelson Mandela and other members of the African National Congress as a certain flavor of terrorist for fighting white minority rule several decades ago. But because of the Liberals, Congress is now ignorantly passing legislation to remove these travel restrictions, which Condoleezza Rice called “embarrassing” over a month ago. Well of course she said that. Read more on Congress Errantly To Take Away Mandela’s Terrorist Label…
 

The Lesser of Two Evils?

Last week, Jacob Zuma beat Thabo Mbeki in a race to run South Africa’s African National Congress, which sorta set him up to take Mbeki out as the President. Mbeki is the President who said that HIV doesn’t cause AIDS, pregnant women should stop taking AZT to prevent transmission, the white people spread it through Africa on purpose and HIV could be cured through traditional remedies. Zuma was fired by Mbeki in 2005 when his financial adviser was caught soliciting a bribe and is now facing charges that he took hundreds of thousands of dollars of bribes from French arms dealers, not that that prosecution is at all politically motivated. Sometimes, even our bad leadership choices can be made to seem better. [Yahoo News] Read more on The Lesser of Two Evils?…