Congratulations to Arlen Specter for joining the Dixiecrat Party of America’s “Mid-Atlantic!” Here in America’s slave city, Richmond — a “blue city” now — we located the “X” marking on the ground where the Enola Gay will finally destroy the South with her payload of Pig Nukes from space — as soon as Arlen Specter gives the word! See? He doesn’t even have to “primary” here. MORE »

Our new president might say he likes diversity and things, but then why does he not fiscally stimulate the ailing South by hiring some southerners to work for him, HMMM? He has precisely one (1) staffer who hails from below the Mason-Dixon line, one “Robert Gibbs,” who does not count because he has zero neck tattoos and does not listen to Skynyrd. MORE »

Jeez, who’s running this government anyhow? Given his latest string of appointments, it appears Barack Obama favors Indonesian Socialist pansexual witch-doctors such as Tom Daschle and Tim Geithner. This leaves little room for Obama to install in key positions such competent Southerners as … well shit, are there even any Southern Democrats alive anymore? Or are they like the ivory-billed woodpecker, another mythical Southern rarity? MORE »

Whoa, it’s the electoral map with… with freakin’ dots all over the damn place, just cold clusterin’ and aggregatin’ over the blue areas. It is this: “Strange Maps overlays cotton production in 1860 with the 2008 presidential results.” Awkward! And as you can see, we’ve “overlaid” — with a retarded X — the approximate location of John McCain’s Mississippi plantation, which he refuses to visit for sexy parties every single year. [Strange Maps via Andrew Sullivan]

Two conservative, Southern ex-Democratic senators have endorsed Barack Obama for president, even though their region of the country still makes its dollar via chattel slavery. Hooray for free blacks from the North running for president! Neither of the two senators, however, was Zell Miller, who has endorsed Gen. “Stonewall” Jackson. MORE »

Oh Tweety. He gets a southern governor on his teevees, like Virginia’s Tim Kaine, and he asks him to “speak Southern.” When Tim Kaine says “I’m a Kansan by birth,” all Matthews can do is laugh. He is a monster.

Uh, that was the break? Was that even two minutes? What about the old people who need a little time to use the facilities? What about your editor who can see the liquor store from his window? Anyway, here we are, solving America’s problems, around the old mill table. MORE »

After more than a year of this endless 2008 campaign, we’ve finally got a debate with the claws out. This South Carolina audience is getting a first-hand up-close answer to the question, “Can Hillary kill people with her words?” See here for Part One, and let’s get dirty with Part Two. MORE »

Wow, are we back in South Carolina again? And we’re going to be talking about race and the racial issues, is that right? Of course, that was the supposed subject of the last Dem debate, too. But that was in Nevada, and everybody knows teevee signals can’t reach from Nevada to South Carolina. So let’s do it again! MORE »

Clues for Discovering Closet Fascists: Do they complain that the Senate is bad without Trent Lott and John Breaux? Do they say “it must be no fun with you guys gone”? Do they say “I would like to be a Senator if I could hang out with you guys”? Do they call Trent Lott and John Breaux “great veteran political heroes and legends of the Senate”?? Maybe if Trent had never resigned, Chris Matthews wouldn’t have had all these problems.

During a tour of New Hampshire today, John Edwards unleashed his latest superficial reason to vote for him: He talks like people who have been president before! You know, with one of those “Southern accent” doohickeys that certain Americans have! Specifically, he noted in a put-on twangy hick voice that “the last two Democratic presidents, Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter, both talk like me.” Indeed, and that’s why most Democrats are voting for the former’s wife. [Raw Story]