Disgraced, alien-looking Democratic donor Norman Hsu will be bundling his funds from the joint now, as he’ll be in prison ’til just about the time President Rev. Huckabee starts running for re-election. His lawyers tried to argue that his right to a speedy trial was violated because he wasn’t arrested for 15 years, despite the fact that he ran away and was a fugitive. The failure of this a stunning argument will surely perplex legal scholars for decades to come. Normy’s 3 years seem like not that big a deal considering he twice fled and also tried to kill himself. We imagine prison sucks and aspire to spend zero time there, but still, this guy seems like a real pussy. [Associated Press]