• Federal law enforcement agents providing security for your move to the ghetto may look tough, but there’s no chance in hell they can run down a crackhead. [Wanderings In DC]

• New members of Columbia Heights gentry find 14th St. uncivilized, learn foreign curses. [Fictional Rockstar]
• Crime-stopping youth curfew starts tonight, but if you’ve got the lawn-cutting money to spare go ahead and buy a loophole. [Pygmalion In A Blanket]
• Redesigned metro cars were unveiled today with new seat layout but same earth tones. [FreeRide]
• What the mayoral candidates will admit to drinking. [Winesmith]
• Baseball trade deadline passes and Nationals hold on to the only good player they’ve got, still plan to lose 60% of remaining games. [ESPN]

* The Supreme Court bench-slapped the White House in the Gitmo military tribunal case. Tony Snow is unfazed: “Oh, those wacky Supreme Court justices, who knows what those guys mean!” MORE »

As our friends at The Daily Show recently noted, Rep. Joseph Pitts (R-PA) has some interesting views on video game violence and America’s youth. Check it out: MORE »

* Capitol Hill bar The Tune Inn makes Esquire magazine’s “Best Bars in America” list. Northwest residents feel slighted. [Esquire via Metroblogging DC] MORE »

* Congressman Steve King (R-IA) claims Iraq is now safer than the mean streets here in D.C. Reached at his home, Southeast Jerome offered, “I’ll cut a bitch from Iowa.” [NewsMax] MORE »

* Because short stretches of asphalt are just like children — the beat-down Dupont Circle underpass will be rehabbed, and good as new, in nine months. [Free Ride] MORE »