Official science has finally proven that Kenyan interloper Barack Obama has an incredibly low opinion of the average State of the Union-viewing American. An outfit which has adopted the patently fictional idea of “Smart Politics” as its name fed President Obama’s speech into a sad word-eating robot, which digested and then spit out this unbearable [...]
Herman Cain had the honor of delivering the Tea Party’s official rebuttal to Obama’s State of the Union address, and praise Jesus, the thing is only 13 minutes long. Oddly, it does not mention 9-9-9. It also was only streamed on the Tea Party Express website, owing to the fact that part of the Tea [...]
Yo yo yo! We are not hosting a children’s Game of Thrones-themed birthday party with Obama as the entertainment/clown, as this picture might indicate. But we ARE conveying to you the state of the State of the Union of 2012! Which — here that thing is. The boring old Oval Office has already LEAKED INFORMATIONS [...]
Here is Karl Rove’s State of the Union drinking game, which has only one rule: the middle class makes Karl Rove want to puke when he hears it mentioned. The middle class makes Karl Rove so sick he can even skip the drinking and go right to the vomiting. “That doesn’t sound like much of [...]
So many of you are asking, in very concerned-sounding emails, whether or not Wonkette will be performing its standard ritual of liveblogging and “a drinking game” on the night of the State of the Union address. COME ON WHAT DO YOU THINK, OF COURSE WE WILL DO THIS, JUST LIKE EVERY YEAR SINCE (gulp) 2004. [...]
The dull evidence of a typical hack political campaign is the “embargoed” speech or statement sent out many hours before the event it is supposed to address. And now we’ve got this email from a big P.R. firm claiming that the Occupy Wall Street response to Obama’s State of the Union speech is contained within [...]
The president recited some old Reagan speech for the State of the Union. It was very well received, especially by the salmon-American population. Blind prophet Michele Bachmann spoke in tongues for six-and-a-half whole minutes following Obama’s Reagan speech, gazing into the very essence of the iChat. An errant olive-pit awakened Dennis Kucinich’s litigious tendencies. Unemployed [...]
It’s always good to talk about edumacation, right? Is our children learning, and such? Well Barack Obama certainly did all that last night — but he actually went so far as to blame dumb American children for the global economic collapse, which was actually designed and directed by the red right hands of Wall Street, [...]
Did you love Michele Bachmann’s super crazy web-cam deal last night, when she literally spoke to her Spirit Devil for something like seven minutes, as it hovered several feet away from the video camera? Well then, you will certainly want to watch it again, at the office. You know how cats sometimes “see something” in [...]
His fellow Americans, there is an economy, and we should have more of it. Because if we don’t have more economy, some other country will (Russia, because the economy is actual a spaceship). Yes, the president of the United States is doing his duty to tell Congress about what’s he’s up to these days, so [...]
8:30 PM — We flip on the DirecTeeVee News Mix and there’s the shrunken head of Wolf Blitzer, jabbering dumbly about Michele Bachmann, who has replaced “Parker Spitzer” as America’s Favorite Weirdo To Respond To the State of the Union. What a delightful evening we all have in store! 8:31 PM — Oh, how will [...]
DON’T LET ANYBODY KNOW but somehow we got the “embargoed remarks” from some guy, with his opinion of the speech that Obama will give in a few hours. But remember, it’s embargoed, so DO NOT TELL ANYONE! Super important! It’s like a trade embargo or something, but on somebody’s own words which they have just [...]
The State of the Union address is tonight! Hooray! It’s been a whole year since Obama screamed TAXCUTSTAXCUTSTAXCUTS and swore that we could all live in bipartisan glory. But this spectacle remains a favorite of Washingtonians who love any excuse to drink, talk politics and sound smarter than their friends. The platters have been ordered [...]
America hasn’t had much in the way of an environmentalist president since Richard Nixon and before that Theodore Roosevelt, so we weren’t exactly expecting Barack Obama to do anything bold or visionary when it came to such unimportant things as the air we breathe and the water we drink and the Earth we live upon. [...]
The State of the Union address is coming so soon, you guys! It will probably be like every other State of the Union since forever, in that it will be boring political bullshit and not even the people paid to care will be able to remember a single word of it two days later. (Haha [...]
