Why has the MSM been sitting on this explosive story? Sonia Sotomayor supports the harmeless Puerto Rican Legal Defense and Education Fund, which makes her as deadly as that unrepentant domestic terrorist who now teaches at the University of Illinois at Chicago (a well-known jihadist training ground in the caves of Lake Michigan). Can Sonia Sotomayor serve on the Supreme Court when we have never seen her long form birth certificate or received any reassurance that she isn’t a human-animal hybrid? [YouTube]

Good for Sonia Sotomayor! That Tom Coburn has just been so mean to her during these hearings that she will now shoot him in the head, “Oklahoma Justice” style. But not before Coburn gets to mock her with his Ricky Ricardo voice! [Political Wire]

Sexy texter Chuck Grassley assured the Senate Judiciary Committee yesterday that “People always say I have the ability to turn people on.” He said this after a man in the audience jumped up and started shouting about how Sonia Sotomayor was a baby-killer. This sort of outburst is apparently, to at least one Iowa Republican, best interpreted as foreplay. (Thanks Lauri Apple for the very arousing Grassley art.) [The Hill]

• JEFF SESSIONS CALLS THE OL’ RACIAL STATUE-OF-LIBERTY PLAY: We have no idea what that means. But here’s what Sen. Jeff Sessions told Miss Mex with regards to her vote in the damn Ricci case: “And, in fact, your vote was the key vote. Had you voted with Judge Cabranes, himself of — of — of Puerto Rican ancestry — had you voted with him, you — you — you could have changed that case.” Hey, not everyone has to be a race traitor, Sessions. [WP]

So what’s going on with “So-So” today, the first day of Q&A at her confirmation hearings? Ah, famous musician Orrin Hatch wants to know how she could uphold a state ban on the use of nunchucks, as she did in the case of Michelangelo the Bipedal Turtle vs. State of New York, because we all know that the Constitution’s second amendment legalizes ninja murder. [YouTube]

TODAY WAS A COMPLETE WASTE OF THE U.S. SENATE JUDICIARY COMMITTEE’S TIME, AND AN INSULT TO BASEBALL AND AMERICA: So many times today your Wonkette editors have prepared to write posts about the Sotomayor hearings, but it all just sucks too much, these people reading their pieces of paper. Maybe we should post a clip of the heckler interrupting Al Franken’s first hearing speech? How about no! Where is all the VIOLENCE? Anyway, this clip is the best distillation on the entire Internet of today’s evil Opening Statement Marathon. (Thanks, John Roberts!) [Gawker]

“Ha ha ha ha, you’re telling me Lindsey Graham’s a pussy! Jesus, lady, he defines the term. Anyway, I gotta go talk to somebody about North Korea or something, you just take it easy and don’t let any of these old white motherfuckers get you down, right? Oh, and if there was ever a day to wake & bake, it’s tomorrow. Peace out, Sonia.” [White House Flickr]

Lindsey Graham’s least favorite Mexican monster, Sonia Sotomayor, learned English when she was 45 years old, from large-print comic books about Satan. And now, thanks to illegitimate president Barack Obama’s affirmative-action hiring policies, Judge Sotomayor is the star of today’s super-boring Senate confirmation hearing! Thanks to Ustream, we’ve got a live teevee video feed right here, so go ahead and make fun of everything, in the comments.

LIVEBLOGGING SOTOMAYOR? Look, we’ll do this, but only if every other form of news occurring in the world gets really boring. So … yeah, probably for a few minutes this afternoon? Because why not. In the meantime, you can SATE YOUR THIRST for dull platitudes on this hot Senate porn cam. [Senate Committee on the Judiciary]

The whole “Sonia Sotomayor is the reanimated corpse of Michael Jackson come to kill all yr babies” approach does not seem to be working so well for opponents of the Supreme Court candidate, so they’ve basically got two options: they can cite that Ricci case and talk about how she’s a racist (although not a judicial activist!), or they can talk about how much money she spends and how that makes her a bad capitalist. MORE »

Got plans this week? Yes you do! You are going to this thing, the “Defeat Sotomayor” Road Show, sponsored by anti-abortion nut Randall Terry’s “Operation Rescue.” No abortions allowed here! The main event will feature this alien cyborg shooting silly string at all the pregnant ladies, as a blessing. (Before killing them all!) [ThinkProgress]