Tag Archives: sonia sotomayor

  bad analogies

Dumb Guy Has Best SCOTUS Argument Against Gay Marriage: Buttsex And Abortion Are Not Crimes!

Say what now?
We have seen many laughable rationalizations for upholding bans on marriage equality over the years, and especially in the last few months before the Supreme Court rules, once and for all, that those bans are not constitutional. (Yes, that’s probably definitely we are pretty darn sure going to happen real soon.) Bigots say equality will mean the end of the world or at least make politicians get drunk and crash their boats into children. And it will cause a million more abortions and force dudes to have to explain periods to their daughters, can you EVEN IMAGINE. Read more on Dumb Guy Has Best SCOTUS Argument Against Gay Marriage: Buttsex And Abortion Are Not Crimes!…
 

Supreme Court Rams Gay-Marriage Nonsense Down Your Earholes. A Wonkette Transcriber!

It's the end of the world! Except not
Tuesday was the last chance for bigots to explain to the Supreme Court why it is constitutional to deny equal rights to gay people because you think they have icky sex. The Court had two questions to consider: First, is it okay for states to prohibit gays from doing marriage together because “tradition” and “ewww gross” and “states’ rights” and “some people don’t like it” and “WON’T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!?!”? Second, is it okay for states that prohibit marriage equality to tell already gay-married gay couples from other states that their marriages do not count, because this here is Kentucky (for example) damnit, and we do not like you liberal state gay types, for America? And freedom? Read more on Supreme Court Rams Gay-Marriage Nonsense Down Your Earholes. A Wonkette Transcriber!…
  Here have some news n stuff

Americans Still Hate Hillary Clinton Less Than Every GOP Candidate Alive

Up to no good, maybe or maybe not
Remember how Hillary Clinton was finally vanquished and destroyed forever because of the latest whatevergate? Yeah, about that. CNN has a new poll with some bad news — for Republicans: Hillary Clinton continues to be a dominant force heading into the 2016 presidential election, according to a new CNN/ORC poll. The former secretary of state maintains a broad lead over the field of potential Democratic challengers she could face in a nomination contest and sizable advantages over the leading contenders from the Republican side in general election match-ups. Read more on Americans Still Hate Hillary Clinton Less Than Every GOP Candidate Alive…
  this charming man

Florida Proscutor’s Whimsical Mother’s Day Message To ‘Crack Hoes’ Seen As Offensive Somehow

A Florida prosecutor just wanted to send a positive message to women on Mother’s Day, but for some reason, a lot of people seem not to recognize his inspirational intentions. Assistant State Attorney Kenneth Lewis posted this little ray of sunshine to his Facebook account on May 11: Honestly, it’s like people go out of their way to find the negative in a harmless statement like that. Read more on Florida Proscutor’s Whimsical Mother’s Day Message To ‘Crack Hoes’ Seen As Offensive Somehow…
  standing athwart history yelling derp

National Review So Mad Someone Let Sonia Sotomayor Race Bait All Over A Supreme Court Opinion

Earlier this week, we lawsplained at you about how the decision in Schuette v. BAMN, upholding a Michigan voter referendum banning consideration of racial preferences in college admissions, was a terrible fucking thing that was nothing but parts of the Court yelling MOB MOB RULE Y’ALL. We had hoped that would be the end of our discussion and we could go lick our wounds/make plans to move to Canada , but we forgot that Justice Sonia Sotomayor wrote a dissent in the case, which meant that the racists that dwell at  National Review  had to crawl out from their spider hole and weigh in with a herp and a derp about how the Wise Latina is just too emotional to do the law stuff like the menz can. Read more on National Review So Mad Someone Let Sonia Sotomayor Race Bait All Over A Supreme Court Opinion…
  our liberal media

Laura Inghraham To Bring Her Special Blend Of Hate And Stupid To ABC News

Hissing hate module Laura Ingraham will be joining the roundtable on ABC’s This Week With George Stephanopoulos, apparently because they need someone who’s got the guts to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the March on Washington by cutting off a recording of a speech by John Lewis with the sound of a gunshot. Or maybe they need someone with a keen analytical mind that recognizes the uncanny parallels between Obamacare and standing in a car rental line. Or maybe she won the spot with her witty observation that Sonia Sotomayor prefers the term “undocumented immigrants” to “illegal aliens” because, as a Puerto Rican person, Sotomayor’s “allegiance obviously goes to her, you know, immigrant family background, not to the U.S. Constitution.” Beats us. Maybe Stephanopoulos just wants Ingraham to wear a red dress and sing “I like to be een A-mer-ee-ca!” Read more on Laura Inghraham To Bring Her Special Blend Of Hate And Stupid To ABC News…
  is nothing sacred?

Supreme Court Coming To Grab Your Guns Just Because You Beat Your Wife, Like That Is Even Fair

So let’s say you are a person who abuses your spouse, but only in the teeniest tiniest way. And let’s say you plead guilty, just to put that whole mess behind you. That shouldn’t stop you from your God-given right to amass a veritable armory of guns at the house, should it? HELL TO THE NO. This is ‘Merica, and if you beat your wife just a little bit, you should still have a gun, right? But America is crumbling, thanks to those Supreme Court activist judges, who held today that even if you feel like your misdemeanor conviction for domestic violence was no big deal, it still stops you from owning a gun, because Congress said so. WHAT IS THIS COUNTRY COMING TO?? Read more on Supreme Court Coming To Grab Your Guns Just Because You Beat Your Wife, Like That Is Even Fair…
  just use aspirin

Here Is Your Recap Of Today’s Slut Pills Supreme Court Case, AKA Hobby Lobby

You might have heard there was this little ol’ case that made its way up to the Supreme Court, Sebelius v. Hobby Lobby, which is basically about how the government has no right to make Jesus-loving people have insurance that covers your whore pills, slut. Check out that excellent lawsplaining! Oral arguments in the case were today, which is why your Twitter feed is all blowed up. If you haven’t been keeping up, the ever-reliable SCOTUSblog has a great summary of the case so far, absent swears, which we think is a shortcoming, but whatever. [T]he Court will be examining whether the government may enforce against private businesses owned by religiously devout owners the requirement that employee health plans provide no-cost coverage for women’s pregnancy-related services, including birth control. These services, required under the so-called “contraceptive mandate” in the Act and in government regulations, are not themselves in legal trouble: the only issue before the Court at this point is which businesses can be ordered to provide the services to their female workers at no cost to them. That issue will be debated by two of the legal gladiators who met in the last test at the Court of the Affordable Care Act: Washington attorney Paul D. Clement, a former U.S. Solicitor General, and the current Solicitor General, Donald B. Verrilli, Jr. There probably would be a significant loophole in the contraceptive mandate’s reach if the challengers win. Some women’s rights groups have estimated that millions of women would be affected. So let’s get this oral argument review/recap party started! Right out the gate, we remember that Paul Clement, arguing for Hobby Lobby, is a slippery dick. Read more on Here Is Your Recap Of Today’s Slut Pills Supreme Court Case, AKA Hobby Lobby…
  is our pundits learning?

Laura Ingraham Performs Difficult Stupidity Hat-Trick About Immigrants, Puerto Rico, And Sonia Sotomayor

‘Sup, Laura Ingraham? How’ve you been? Keeping busy? Cool, cool. You’ve been doing what? Being deeply confused and kind of full of racist bullshit about immigrants and Puerto Rico? Well, that’s a thing to pass the time, we guess. What idiot wind blew out of your mouth lately? The context of Ingraham’s statement was a rant about Sotomayor’s decision to refer to people in the United States without citizenship or immigration papers as “undocumented immigrants” because, in Sotomayor’s words, calling “them illegal aliens seemed . . . insulting.” After claiming that Sotomayor’s preference for one term over the other somehow reflects insufficient respect for the rule of law, Ingraham said that Justice Sotomayor’s “allegiance obviously goes to her, you know, immigrant family background, not to the U.S. Constitution.” Read more on Laura Ingraham Performs Difficult Stupidity Hat-Trick About Immigrants, Puerto Rico, And Sonia Sotomayor…
  little sisters of perpetual grievance

Now It Is These Nuns Who Are Being Kind Of Dicks

Sonia Sotomayor singlehandedly stopped Obamacare in its tracks on New Year’s Eve when she granted some nuns a temporary injunction from having to comply with a part of the Affordable Care Act while their lawsuit is being appealed. Except that the only thing that’s especially noteworthy about the injunction is that it was issued by a Supreme Court justice, rather than by the appeals court — it’s actually a pretty routine move, and the real surprise may be that the injunction wasn’t granted by the tenth Circuit court, which Sotomayor oversees. No, wait, actually, the real real surprise is probably that the Catholic nonprofits’ suit is going forward at all, since as Slate points out, the ACA already allows religious-affiliated groups to not pay for contraceptive coverage in employees’ health insurance. But they have to sign a form requesting that exemption. Once they sign that form, they will not have to pay for non-Catholic employees’ slut-pills, but then those slutty non-Catholics will still be able to get slut pills, paid for by the insurers, not the employers. This is still far too much complicity in the machinery of baby-prevention, so the Little Sisters of No Contraception No Way Never refuse to sign the form asking for the exemption. We are pretty sure Sister Mary Yossarian is feeling pretty oppressed by the whole sordid business. Read more on Now It Is These Nuns Who Are Being Kind Of Dicks…
  she's got the biggest balls of all

To The Victor Go The Spoils: We Won The War On Christmas, So Now We Get Sonia Sotomayor To Ball Hard In The New Year

If you ever wondered “when will one event combine my love of freezing outdoor events, music’s fading stars and newer hotties, and the Justices of the Supreme Court?” today is your luckiest day, because Sonia Sotomayor will lead the 60-second countdown and push the big button to lower the big ball during Rockin’ New Year’s Eve. Read more on To The Victor Go The Spoils: We Won The War On Christmas, So Now We Get Sonia Sotomayor To Ball Hard In The New Year…
  ladies first

New Portrait Of All Four Female Supreme Court Justices Kicking It Dutch Masters Style Is Super Sassy Nice Time

It is only the very first day of your long slog until the weekend and your inevitable decline and death, so that means it is high time for some nice time, yes? YES. And what could be nicer and more adorable than this handsome old-timey portrait of all the lady justices? Nothing, that’s what. Read more on New Portrait Of All Four Female Supreme Court Justices Kicking It Dutch Masters Style Is Super Sassy Nice Time…
  justices should be seen and not heard

Female SCOTUS Justices Gettin’ Mighty Uppity With Their ‘Questions’ And Such

In 1978, future Associate Justice of the Supreme Court and most awesome woman in the entire galaxy Ruth Bader Ginsburg was giving a presentation to that same esteemed body for a case dealing with how gender should be treated by the equal protection clause (an issue which has always been kind of been a bugaboo for RGB). The last question from the bench came from preeminent fascist pill head William H. Rehnquist, who took the opportunity to ask his future colleague a “joke” by saying “You won’t settle for putting Susan B. Anthony on the new dollar..?”. Bader Ginsburg said nothing, because she knew her damn place. Sadly, it seems that this important lesson on how best to be a lady lawyer is lost on this new generation of female justices, who are daring to speak their mind and are totally fucking up the vibe of what was once Washington’s best robed-themed drinking club with all their talk about “equality” and “jurisprudence.” To make matters worse, the awful Goddess Coven of Bader-Ginsburg, Kagan, and (especially) Sotomayor are feminizing and “personalizing” the law, which is making it really difficult for adorable megalomaniacs like Anton Scalia to reassert the court’s traditional role of quashing hope and destroying progress for anyone other than white men and corporations. Luckily Sandy Rios of American Family Radio is addressing this important issue in the law before bitches ruin everything. Read more on Female SCOTUS Justices Gettin’ Mighty Uppity With Their ‘Questions’ And Such…
  egregious breaches of ethics

Justice Sonia Sotomayor Personally Selling Pepsi To Dying Fat Kids, Yalies Outraged

Now that the New York Times is done carrying water for the CIA, it has plenty of man-power to commit to other pressing matters, like how Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor is attending a conference for Yale alumnae, and there are — at minimum — two people who are kind of mad about it. PepsiCo is sponsoring a conference in April for women who attended Yale, and Justice Sonia Sotomayor, a graduate of Yale Law School, is scheduled to make remarks Ok… to the dismay of some alumni. Oh! Here is the conflict. Explain it to us, por favor: Read more on Justice Sonia Sotomayor Personally Selling Pepsi To Dying Fat Kids, Yalies Outraged…
  binders of big birds

The Year In Sesame Street Evil

First they came for Big Bird, and we did not care, because dude, old news. (Little known fact: if you stop funding the NEA, Sesame Street and Planned Parenthood, there would be enough budget left over to fund at least three GSA conventions.) They ALWAYS come for Big Bird, because sharing = communism, everybody knows that! Read more on The Year In Sesame Street Evil…
  the princess died

Man-Hating Ball-Buster Sonia Sotomayor Teams With Sesame Street To Indoctrinate Your Princess

You may go elsewhere to read about Elmo maybe raping your children, because Sonia Sotomayor raping traditional gender roles is the only Sesame Street story your Wonkette will be covering this fine Veterans Day. So let’s get right to it: why does known feminazi and United States Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor want to indoctrinate your semiprecious female children into believing they should go to law school, where they will doubtless become godless spokessluts for Big Pill? Read more on Man-Hating Ball-Buster Sonia Sotomayor Teams With Sesame Street To Indoctrinate Your Princess…
  news from outer space

Rick Perry Will Get Rid of Activist Judges As Soon As He Can Name One

Remember how Rick Perry used to be able to list a whole two things in a sentence before his mind started collapsing in on itself like a black hole vacuuming up stray brain matter? Right, that’s still happening, but the gravitational pull of his own stupidity appears to be growing according to new observations made back here on Earth. Watch him struggle to start naming “activist Supreme Court judges” he doesn’t like and then stumble on the very first one: Read more on Rick Perry Will Get Rid of Activist Judges As Soon As He Can Name One…
  it's morning in america

The Eternal Void To Make Alvin Greene SC State House Representative

Word is spread through the land that the Daoist master of South Carolina, Alvin Greene, is running for a special election to the South Carolina state House. But try to tell that to him. “The filing closes next week and that’s when everybody finds out who has filed,” he explained in one of his cosmic jokes. The media thinks it can predict the actions of an unmoved mover, but it cannot. It tries to capture and control the manifestations of The Way, or “news,” but great leaders are barely noticed. Some would say that Greene has greater name identification now, an advantage in sudden elections such as this. The Master arrives without leaving, sees the light without looking, and achieves without doing a thing. Will Alvin Greene ever leave his hovel? Unlikely. But we have a feeling South Carolina will find itself suddenly and strangely revitalized. [The State] Read more on The Eternal Void To Make Alvin Greene SC State House Representative… Read more on The Eternal Void To Make Alvin Greene SC State House Representative…
  breaking news we've known for months

America Swoons As Elena Kagan Is Voted By Senate Onto Supreme Court

There she is, Miss Supreme Court. There she is, your ideal. At long last, Elena Kagan has gone from the cocoon of Senate confirmation hearings and emerged a beautiful judicial butterfly. In what is now a great American tradition, Kagan made sure not to answer a single question during the entire marathon, and now the Senate has voted to confirm her, and now she is your new John Paul Stevens. The vote was 63-37. Lindsey Graham yelped and lept in the air in excitement when the final votes were tallied. “Ham biscuits!” he squealed, probably, but we aren’t completely sure because we wrote this post in May. Read more on America Swoons As Elena Kagan Is Voted By Senate Onto Supreme Court…
  yikes

Supreme Court Rules That You Now Have To Declare Your Own Miranda Rights

In today’s Judicial Branch news, the American Supreme Court has ruled that “suspects must explicitly tell police they want to be silent to invoke Miranda protections during criminal interrogations.” Ha ha, that doesn’t sound… cool… come on, WHAT? HUH? Man, if you’re a conservative (hi all three of you reading this!), the Roberts appointment kind of makes up for almost every other shitty thing Bush did to obliterate your party’s majorities and ruin Earth forever. But what did the angry Mexican judge-lady have to say about this ruling? Read more on Supreme Court Rules That You Now Have To Declare Your Own Miranda Rights…
  humans doing human things

Why Is Sonia Sotomayor Dancing When She Is A Supreme Court Justice?

Gritty, and disturbing. And yet Fox News labels this dance “the Beltway Boogie.” Can we please stop it with the obvious racism? Anyway, this devilry took place the other night at some trashy mick bar filled with Irish micks. [Matt Yglesias] Read more on Why Is Sonia Sotomayor Dancing When She Is A Supreme Court Justice?…