Better fire up your modems and log into your AOL account (or Prodigy for you hipsters). Time for another look at the ruinous near-decade of prosperity under Bill Clinton, as refracted through the Truthiness Lens of rightwing Christian textbooks. This week, foreign affairs! (And next week, we’ll get to the other kind.)

We give much love to Old Handsome Joe “Now You’re Jack Kennedy!” Biden because he is excellent and pretty much the perfect wacky, free-wheeling, avuncular Vice Presidential complement to Barry’s somnolent rationality. But we also have integrity, so we are gonna call Joe Biden out: New York’s fine LaGuardia airport is not like “a third […]

Blogging is largely a matter of finding the right stuff to write about. For instance, we see that the Washington Post has a new political science blog feature called “The Monkey Cage” – from the H.L. Mencken quote, “Democracy is the art of running the circus from the monkey cage.” And its first post is […]

President Barack Obama is a nanny stater who loves nothing more than to Oppress you with his nannying, and Human Events has got the PROOF: there are now regulations that say that if you employ a foreigner to be a goatherder, you must provide him (OR HER! Just kidding, not her) with a clean, comfortable […]

We tricked you! The nice Libertarian fellows in the Detroit hotel bar at 1:30 in the morning were not nice at all! They were stupid fucking idiots! But we learned a lot from them anyway, like so: * Al Gore invented the Internet. * Al Gore lied about being the basis for the main character […]

Somalia — a scrappy, can-do failed state that is the platonic ideal for those who want to shrink government down to the size where they can drown it in the bathtub — is not taking it lying down that the US has offered $7 million for the location of this dude Ahmed Abdi Aw-Mohamed and […]

Ron Paul! He knows what’s wrong with Africa. All the famines, the people dying over there that you may have heard about in the news lately? It’s because Africa is socialist. The whole place! RON PAUL, on Africa: “All I know is if you look at history and if you compare good medical care and you […]

Shocking new photographs from Barack Obama’s African Past reveal that he was actually a Somali pirate in Hawaii during his youth, the feared “Child Scallywag of Honolulu.” Here, pictured with Liz Phair in the early 1990s, the dread pirate O’bamar prepares to raid a British crown colony of landlubbers and then head off to the […]

Obama is demanding that the companies that received the most bailout money pay their highest-earning employees 10% of what they normally do. [New York Times] Oh here’s something new: everyone is worried about getting sick but is too lazy and/or too terrified to actually get a flu shot. [Washington Post] The weird Jett Travolta/Bahamas were […]

Hollywood talkie star Patrick Swayze, who famously had cancer, has died from the aforementioned cancer at the age of 57. [New York Times] “Led by their most senior black lawmakers” (?), Democrats have decided to importantly vote on whether or not to sanction Joe Wilson and whether or not to make this an issue about […]

The first thing wrong with this video is it shows a mixed-race couple, which must still be illegal somewhere in the “Real America,” maybe Alabama or Texas? But the rest teaches our children a valuable lesson about why they can’t have nice things: Because that’s socialist! So if you want to go to the beach, […]

Over Easter weekend while the rest of America was busy gaining 10 pounds eating ham and Peeps, President Obama occupied himself authorizing military action that left three Somali pirates dead and one kidnapped American captain alive. This feat of daring means that nobody can call Obama a pussy anymore.

This American president, he has fleets of destroyers and an army of fearsome AT-AT walkers at his disposal and still he cannot contend with a very organized band of Africans trolling the waters off the Somalian coast. What gives, Obama? Why do you love pirates so much?

IRAQ  9:28 am December 10, 2007

Insecurity Estimate

by Princess Sparkle Pony