Wonkette

The batshit crazy Washington Times published a hilarious column from creepy actor Jon Voight yesterday, and we missed it, because who reads the fucking Moonie Times, right? Fortunately a tipster has sent us the article and good freaking lord: “The Democratic Party, in its quest for power, has managed a propaganda campaign with subliminal messages, creating a God-like figure in a man who falls short in every way. It seems to me that if Mr. Obama wins the presidential election, then Messrs. Farrakhan, Wright, Ayers and Pfleger will gain power for their need to demoralize this country and help create a socialist America.” Many trees were killed so that they could be soaked in this ink. MORE »

Are you feeling extra hippieish today, hippies? Maybe a little more communal, communists? That’s because it’s May Day, the main drunken pagan sex holiday of the first week of May. In fact, today used to be America’s Labor Day, until right-wing bloggers of the Soviet era found out it was actually a commie holiday built around the commie traditions of a) abortion and b) colorful paper streamers. And then the evil “May Day” was patriotically converted into “Loyalty Day” … but did anybody tell the Mexicans? MORE »

Congrats to Barack Obama, who apparently still works in the Senate: National Journal has ranked Barry as the #1 most liberal senator for 2007! If I were a girl, I would go and have 50 abortions right now to celebrate. MORE »

If you squint, you can see the President. He’s the one in the bear suit.

A super top secret Wonkette Operative infiltrated today’s White House tee-ball game, and sent back these exclusive pictures. More of them are after the jump. The op says no one won. We call bullshit.

It looks like a fun time was had by all, except the guy in the fucking bear suit in this fucking weather.

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