Tag Archives: socialism

  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: We Are Illiterate Illegal Parasites In Prison. Science Fact!

Haha, 'COORS'
Since Disqus has brought us a bunch of new commenters (Hi! Welcome To The Monkeyhouse! Play nice!), we’d just like to ‘splain why we moderate comments in the first place, instead of allowing unfettered Free Speach: It’s because we are big believers in the First Amendment, which gives us the right to run our little mommyblog/recipe hub/Pony appreciation society however the hell we want to. It’s our parlor, and if we choose not to invite someone in because they’re intent on muddying up the carpet and shitting on the credenza, or even if we don’t like their Gadsden Flag t-shirt, that’s our business. Don’t like it? Do some Free Enterprise and offer the Editrix an obscene amount of money to buy the site so you can change how things work. (We hear she’ll only sell if the staff get some pretty impressive golden parachutes.) Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: We Are Illiterate Illegal Parasites In Prison. Science Fact!…
  Reading And Writing Shouldn't Be About Anything

Texas Mom Drops Challenge To Super Sexy ‘Marxist’ Book About Poors

See what happens when you read about poor people?
Remember how some parents in one of Texas’s richest school districts were complaining that a book about poor people was being taught in an advanced placement English class? The parents were upset because David K. Shipler’s The Working Poor: Invisible in America was too “sexually explicit” for 11th graders, plus it was about poor people, and also since it wasn’t “literary,” it didn’t even belong in an English class. Read more on Texas Mom Drops Challenge To Super Sexy ‘Marxist’ Book About Poors…
  Smells Like Liz Warren

Feisty Liberal Obama Plans To Tax The Hell Out Of Rich People, For America

Chock fulla wet beans.
Now that Obama is a good president again because gas prices are low, he appears to be feeling his oats. And when Obama feels his oats, you know what happens: COMMON-SENSE PROPOSALS! For tax reforms that strengthen the middle class and ask wealthy Americans to pay their fair share! HOT DAMN AND DIGGIDY! Read more on Feisty Liberal Obama Plans To Tax The Hell Out Of Rich People, For America…
  Infrastructure Is Sexy

Gas May Be Cheaper, But Congressional Jerk Babies Refuse To Pay For Roads

Hey, House Science and Technology Committee, we found you a new logo!
So now that President Michele Bachmann has fulfilled her campaign promise to bring gas prices down to $2 a gallon, this would be an excellent time to tack a few pennies onto the gas tax to help fix up our crumbling freeways and collapsing bridges, right? Hahaha, what are you, a communist? There is never a good time to actually pay for stuff! There is no way that the Republican majority in Congress would ever dream of paying for stuff we need, because 1) we don’t really need it, 2) taxes are communistical, public roads doubly so, and 3) someday there will be an election where someone will say you voted to raise taxes. Read more on Gas May Be Cheaper, But Congressional Jerk Babies Refuse To Pay For Roads…
  Bernie Sanders For Everything

Bernie Sanders Has 12-Point Plan To Save America By Eating The Rich

Bernie Sanders, our favorite socialist senator and only socialist senator but still our favorite anyway, has a terrific new economic plan to save America, and it’s so crazy it just might work! Except, of course, that it will never work, because sadly, our Senate is filled with a whole bunch of senators who are not Bernie Sanders, and do not ask the kinds of questions he asks, such as, for example: Read more on Bernie Sanders Has 12-Point Plan To Save America By Eating The Rich…
  All Praise Carbon Dioxide!

Wingnuts Peeing Themselves In Hilarity Over Climate Change March, ‘Science’

That game kind of got into my head a few years back
New York City hosted a big Climate Change protest on Sunday, and that’s cool and all, because raising awareness and solidarity and all that. There were hippies and signs and moms with kids in strollers and probably big protest puppets, we bet, because we’re pretty sure those are required by Saul Alinsky. The march was held to draw attention to the United Nations Climate Summit beginning tomorrow, and in terms of concrete change, sure, it didn’t make the problem go away, and wingnuts all had a fine time calling the participants terrible hypocrites if they got to New York by any means other than a bicycle — and if they rode bicycles, then wingnuts mocked them for those silly spandex pants. Read more on Wingnuts Peeing Themselves In Hilarity Over Climate Change March, ‘Science’…
  six of one half dozen of a mother

Rick Santorum Wants To Socialize Your Slut Pills

We hope you’re sitting down, because we are about to agree with Rick Santorum. But only partly. (You may resume breathing now.) Santorum came up with his brilliant idea during a Q & A session while he was flogging his frothy new book, and here is that thing that he came up with: instead of mandating that contraception be covered by private health insurance, how about we just have the government pay for contraception for everyone? We could actually get behind that, especially if to sweeten the pot, we could take it a bit farther and add a single-payer health insurance system as well (it was worth a try). Read more on Rick Santorum Wants To Socialize Your Slut Pills…
  How To Pope

Excellent Socialist Pope Is Excellent, Socialist And Also Too Maybe Marxist

In the strictest search result for “socialism” sense of the word, Pope Francis is not a socialist because he has not (to our knowledge) ever argued for “[a] society in which major industries are owned and controlled by the government”. But the definition of “socialism” is changing. Socialism is now understood by a lot of people to mean “the government helping people, and sometimes taxes,” because that is how literally every conservative politician and commentator uses the word. So by that definition, Pope Francis’s message to a UN meeting in Rome was so, so socialist: “In the case of global political and economic organization, much more needs to be achieved, since an important part of humanity does not share in the benefits of progress and is in fact relegated to the status of second-class citizens,” Francis said. Read more on Excellent Socialist Pope Is Excellent, Socialist And Also Too Maybe Marxist…
  all the derp that's fit to herp

Derp Roundup: Your Weekly March Through The Marshes Of Madness

Welcome to another edition of Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we scrape the dumbest possible news leftovers off our overheated browser tabs, blend them into an almost-digestible slurry, and serve them up to you with a muffin and a warning to imbibe heavily. Read more on Derp Roundup: Your Weekly March Through The Marshes Of Madness…
  ice cream socialist

Please Oh Please Run For President, Bernie Sanders

Earlier this month, Bernie Sanders told The Nation’s John Nichols that he is “prepared to run for President of the United States,” and now we are treated to a reminder of how awesome that would be every time we read a new “who besides Hillary” item. It is like an It Gets Better Project for socialists. It doesn’t matter at all that Bernie Sanders has little chance of becoming president. A serious Sanders run would act as a year-long opinion poll: “Should Democrats advocate for policies that will make the country better even if some people who run large financial institutions don’t like these policies?” If Sanders can push Hillary even half as far left as Santorum/Gingrich/Cain/Bachmann/Perry/FOX pushed Romney to the right, we might actually be able to vote for her in the general without risking injury to our mortal souls. Read more on Please Oh Please Run For President, Bernie Sanders…
  even scarier than the time obama told children to work hard

Obama’s Universal Pre-K Will Teach Children To Murder Babies And Get Gay Married

Over at wingnut thought-leader drunktank TownHall.com yesterday, CNS News editor Terry Jeffrey explained the real reason Barack Obama wants universal pre-K: it doesn’t have anything to do with education; Obama just wants to indoctrinate children at ever-younger ages by making sure that children “spend most of their waking hours with members of a government teachers union rather than with their moms,” because “What Obama wants, quite literally, is their souls.” Presumably, he needs to consume them to maintain his human form. Read more on Obama’s Universal Pre-K Will Teach Children To Murder Babies And Get Gay Married…
  they won't give an inchon korea

Sundays With The Christianists: American History Textbooks Fighting Godless Communism From Korea To The U.N.

If there’s anything that gets the editors of our textbooks for Christian homeschoolers exercised, it’s communism. And evolution. And deviations from fundamentalist Protestantism. And secular humanism. But especially communism (which is influenced by Darwinism and atheism). And so, it stands to reason that they have a fine old time with the Cold War. And as usual, our 8th-grade textbook, America: Land I Love (A Beka, 1994 & 2006), is the far more enthusiastic Cold Warrior; as we saw last week, Land I Love doesn’t describe the conflict merely as a geopolitical contest for influence between the USSR and the U.S./Western Europe, but as a fight between “the ideologies of Americanism and Communism.” Our text for 11th/12th grade, Bob Jones University Press’s United States History for Christian Schools (2001), is a lot less excitable, but still very firmly anticommunist. And of course, since humans are inherently sinful and real peace can only come from God, both books find efforts at cooling international tensions, like the United Nations, to be somewhere between naïve (U.S. History) and downright anti-American (Land I Love). Foolish hu-mans, thinking that “international cooperation” can accomplish anything! Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: American History Textbooks Fighting Godless Communism From Korea To The U.N….
  uncivil unions

Union Thugs Calling You (From Inside The House!)

Yesterday the AP dispatched a telegram on the DARPA tubes to all the nation’s leading broadsheets: The National Labor Relations Board proposed rules Wednesday that would allow unions to hold workplace elections more quickly by simplifying procedures, setting shorter deadlines and requiring businesses to hand over lists of employee phone numbers and emails to union leaders before an election. Yo Yglesias, yo Ezra, yo P-Krug, where ya at? Yo liberal blogs, you on this? Salon had it, and even managed to make it click-bait with a nice “despised by right-wingers” in the headline. Good Salon! Everybody, be more like Salon (except sometimes don’t). This is the type of stuff that everyone who’s worried about working people, their rights, and their place in public policy should be cheering. They should be saying “Actual sincere thanks, Obama!” Read more on Union Thugs Calling You (From Inside The House!)…
  baby it's cold war outside

Sundays With the Christianists: American History Textbooks Still Fighting The Cold War From A Secret Bunker

You may have missed this news item a couple weeks back: Hiroo Onoda, the Japanese soldier who remained hidden in the Philippine jungles until 1974, unaware that World War II had ended, died January 16 at the age of 91. For some reason, that seems worth mentioning in our review of rightwing textbooks for the Christian school market and their coverage of the Cold War. Since the Soviet Union collapsed in 1991, they still have a little while to go before they equal Onoda’s 30 years of pointless hostilities, but we predict that future editions of these books will be just as terrified by International Communism as the current ones. For that matter, the Cold War chapters of the 2006 edition of our 8th-grade text from A Beka, America: Land I Love, are unrevised from the 1994 original — and the book continues to use the present tense when discussing “communist nations.” Our 11th/12th-grade text, Bob Jones University Press’s United States History for Christian Schools, tends to be considerably less shrill, but still firmly anti-communist in outlook. Besides, it’s always more fun to keep metaphorically fighting a war when your side won, as determined by having the most toys. Read more on Sundays With the Christianists: American History Textbooks Still Fighting The Cold War From A Secret Bunker…
  spoiler alert

Obama Will Tyrannize America Tonight By Raising The Federal Contract Minimum Wage

You already know that we are hoping HARD for some State of the Union drama tonight, but we were figuring that it would come from Michelle throat-ramming America with gay sportsthugs. That’s a fine start, but we are your fucking base, Obama. Give us some red meat we can tear apart and devour and come up with a bloodstained toothy grin as right-wingers threaten to storm the barricades because socialism’s a-comin’ just like they always toldja. We should not have counted Obama out, because it looks like he is going to pound his executive order fascist hammer all over America’s face tonight by forcing America’s job creators to pay lazy takers with federal job contracts a higher minimum wage. President Barack Obama will announce during Tuesday night’s State of the Union address that he’s raising the minimum wage for workers under federal contracts to $10.10 per hour, an administration official told The Huffington Post. The new policy, to be instituted via executive order, may affect hundreds of thousands of workers whose jobs are supported by federal dollars. The move is designed in part to ratchet up pressure on Congress to pass legislation raising the minimum wage for all workers. The current federal minimum wage stands at $7.25 per hour, and hasn’t been raised since 2009, after the last of a series of increases signed into law by then-President George W. Bush. BOOM. Read more on Obama Will Tyrannize America Tonight By Raising The Federal Contract Minimum Wage…
  praise the ammunition and pass the lord

Sundays With The Christianists: American History Textbooks That Will Live In Infamy

After all those wonderful lies about the Great Depression, it will be nice to get back to something more like reality in our rightwing Christian textbooks for the Christian school/homeschooling market. And so, on with World War II — as we’ve noted, once these guys have an actual shooting war to look at, they tend to tone down the Culture War stuff. And for one of our two texts, the 11th/12th-grade United States History for Christian Schools (Bob Jones University Press, 2001), that’s pretty much the case — there is almost nothing in this textbook’s coverage of WWII that would be out of place in a secular textbook. Happily for our purposes, our other book, A Beka’s eighth-grade America: Land I Love (1994, 2006), is just as full of crazy as ever, and even some of its discussion of the war itself is at best cursory. This is important, because we just aren’t ready to jump straight into the weirdness that is their discussion of the Cold War. (How’s that for a teaser for next week?) Let’s start with the primary causes of World War II: Socialism, spiritual emptiness, and of course, Charles Darwin. Yep, it’s going to be another of those chapters. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: American History Textbooks That Will Live In Infamy…
  hellfireside chats

Sundays With The Christianists: American History Books That Expose FDR’s Socialist Agenda

Last week, we learned that the Great Depression was caused by government regulation of free enterprise, and that while it was a tad uncomfortable for some, there was no need for any government interference in the wonderful job that private charities were doing to help people. Or at least, that’s how the Great Depression unfolds in the pages of our eighth-grade textbook from A Beka, America: Land I Love. This week, we’ll once again make only occasional mention of our other textbook, the 11th/12th-grade United States History for Christian Schools (Bob Jones University Press, 2001), because while it’s got a definite conservative slant, it at least resembles reality. Land I Love, on the other hand, stops just short of saying Franklin Roosevelt was a commie, and certainly reminds kids at every turn that the New Deal should be seen as “a big step into socialism” and that FDR’s policies were unnecessary interference in an economy that wasn’t really all that bad anyway. Now that grandparents who lived through the Depression are no longer around to pollute the kids’ awareness with any firsthand accounts, it’s relatively easy to feed them a straight diet of rightwing revisionist bullshit. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: American History Books That Expose FDR’s Socialist Agenda…
  an armed society is an impolite society

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Guns Beat Butter Every Time Edition

Today’s New York Times dives right in to making sure that conservatives hate it, and not just because it isn’t just wall-to-wall birf certificate yelling and hilarious cartoons about lynching the president and reviews of new Ted Nugent albums. The Times is glorifying the apostate gun writers, who are one step away from gun grabbers. Read more on Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Guns Beat Butter Every Time Edition…
  happy days are here again

Sundays With The Christianists: U.S. History Textbooks That Save Homeschoolers From Socialist Lies About The Great Depression

You’d think that after a year and a half of reviewing rightwing Christianist textbooks we’d be incapable of being surprised, but wow: this week’s look at how one of them covers the great Depression departs so sharply from what most of us call reality that you may want to strap in and wear a helmet to keep your brains from messing up your nice shag carpet. As usual, of the two books we’re looking at, it’s our 8th-grade text, America: Land I Love (A Beka, 1994), that’s the troublemaker. In fact, this week, we’re hardly going to reference our other book, the 11th/12th-grade United States History for Christian Schools (Bob Jones University Press, 2001), because while it still has a conservative slant, it at least presents a recognizable version of historical reality. Land I Love, on the other hand, is so wedded to rightwing ideology that it simply insists that The Great Depression was maybe a little uncomfortable, but not nearly as bad as the socialists in media, government, and academe would have you believe. Mostly, the authors suggest again and again, the greatest tragedy of the Depression is that liberal politicians used it as an excuse to expand government and destroy individual freedom, because that’s just how FDR liked to roll. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: U.S. History Textbooks That Save Homeschoolers From Socialist Lies About The Great Depression…
  a high school kid said it i believe it and that settles it

Socialists At Denver Post Cover Up Indisputable Fact That Arapahoe HS Shooter Was Socialist Just Like Them

OMG you guys! Did you hear the scandalous truth about how the Lamestream Media is completely covering up the fact that Karl Pierson, the boy who shot two students last Friday before killing himself, was a confirmed socialist? Thankfully, a whole bunch of wingnut blogs have the truth! Tell us all about it, Stupidest Man On the Internet: More media tricks… After thinking things over, the Denver Post decided to delete the fact that Arapahoe School shooter Kark [sic] Pierson was a committed socialist from their news report. This is from the original article: Thomas Conrad, who had an economics class with the gunman, described him as a very opinionated Socialist. “He was exuberant I guess,” Conrad said. “A lot of people picked on him, but it didn’t seem to bother him.” And, here is the updated article, sans “socialist.” Thomas Conrad, who had an economics class with Pierson, described him as very opinionated. “He was exuberant, I guess,” Conrad said. “A lot of people picked on him, but it didn’t seem to bother him.” Guess it didn’t fit their narrative that only right-wing Tea Party folks were the dangerous ones. Why the cover-up, Denver Post? Why aren’t you willing to report the FACTS, huh? Shouldn’t the shooter’s documented commitment to radical views be out in the open, so people can know the truth about the murderous agenda of socialism? Also, you know who else edits their articles without noting that anything has changed? Read more on Socialists At Denver Post Cover Up Indisputable Fact That Arapahoe HS Shooter Was Socialist Just Like Them…
  Show Us On The Doll Where Colin Powell Disgraced Himself

Disgraced Torturer Allen West Can No Longer Heart Disgraced Colin Powell Now That’s He’s A Total Commie

Remember when General Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Secretary of State Colin Powell was awesome (Powell Doctrine) and then he wasn’t awesome (bullshit “testimony” at the United Nations about “WMD”) and then he was sort of awesome (endorsing Obama) and then he became a total dirty Nazi Marxist hippie commie from Commiestan because he said this Commie thing? “I think universal health care is one of the things we should really be focused on, and I hope that will happen,” Powell said. “Whether it’s Obamacare, or son of Obamacare, I don’t care. As long as we get it done.” Well, former Rep. Allen West (R-Torturer), someone who knows an awful lot about being a disgrace because he is a disgrace his own self and it takes one to know one, we guess, is none too pleased that Powell drank the ObamaHitlercare Koolaid and has become — for the first time ever! — a disgrace. Read more on Disgraced Torturer Allen West Can No Longer Heart Disgraced Colin Powell Now That’s He’s A Total Commie…