social security

Representative Jason Chaffetz, a Republican (duh) from Utah, has a lot in common with his fellow Republicans, given that he thinks that fixing the deficit is a very, very important issue, but! not so important that we should be willing to cut defense spending or let the Bush tax cuts expire to get the job […]

Boy, somebody got on Old Handsome Joe’s last nerve! He even says he is “angry,” and then yells a bunch! But what brought on this fit of righteousness from the World’s Sexiest Grampa? Watch Joe Biden testify, after the jump!

Both the House and Senate voted to extend the payroll tax cut another 10 months today. Democrats will be screaming from the Kenyan mountaintops about this great legislative victory of theirs, this “game-changer”! So let’s go through what an allegedly important Democratic legislative victory looks like in the year 2012.

The Senate Judiciary Committee voted 10-8 today to advance a bill to repeal DOMA over Republican objections. Not just the usual “becuz Jesus no likey teh gheyz” objections, but for a novel new terrible reason: gay marriage will ruin Social Security! “No one has paid into the Social Security system expecting benefits to be paid […]

As dim Americans continue to stare blankly through the hazy toxic clouds of cable news teevee noise-static and ask, “hennnrrhhggh why are all the Wall Street protester hippies against capitalism and freedom, hrnngghh,” the intrepid reporter-folks over at The Nation meanwhile managed to uncover a series of letters from the 1970s indicating that America’s most noxious […]

Jabbering nincompoop Herman Cain is the new star of the GOP 2012 Campaign, this week — that’s how much Republicans don’t like their front-runner, Mitt Romney. Herman Cain’s policy positions are as ridiculous as they are insane: Something about the Number Nine, Number Nine, and then something about Obama showing up at GOP debates to […]

Who is the biggest threat to the Social Security benefits system alive today? Rick Santorum, he knows what’s what, he’ll tell you. He held a policy meeting with his secret “panel of advisers” (the rows of fetus jars stacked in his basement) and he’s got this brain buster to share: “We can’t afford the benefit […]

We missed the exact point in time when a millionaire Jesus freak presidential candidate could march in front of a crowd of ordinary Iowans and inform them their Social Security checks are slowly murdering everybody in their sleep to a round of applause, but somehow here is Rick Perry telling everyone Social Security is a […]

Social Security is in “trouble” because wealthy people aren’t required by the government to actually pay their share into the national program, and also because Congress has been “borrowing” billions of dollars that working people have paid into the program so that they might not have to starve or die of common illnesses once they’re […]

Rick Perry’s Texas conservative Jeebus freak routine includes some anti-establishment trailer park teabagger romance novel he released last year called “Fed Up!” One of the book’s themes is a general contempt for Social Security and social safety net programs for the elderly — typical polite parlor chat in rich white Southern homes, but not a […]

America’s ugliest angel of war Joe Lieberman hobbled onto the Senate floor during the debt ceiling debate today to complain about how budget reductions will affect his favorite taxpayer-funded school for disadvantaged children, the Pentagon. Lieberman frames the debate over spending cuts by explaining that we should all begin viewing Social Security and national security […]

Why, exactly, should we raise the retirement age? Who benefits from that? Certainly not people, now being told that they’ll have to toil until death after all, just like the slaves and serfs of the cruel past. And why should the elderly now have to work to the grave? Because the Koch Brothers were born […]

How might make-believe GOP candidate Tim Pawlenty distinguish himself with the elderly Tea Party voters? By taking away their Medicare and Social Security, so they will die! This is a very tricky strategy that only a fictional Minnesota superhero could invent. What else could he do to make sure he never wins a primary? How […]

We’ve been too busy celebrating Pagan Earth Day with a bunch of wiccans and gay wizards, at Hogwarts, to notice the new consensus about nervous GOP weirdo Paul Ryan: He apparently finished off the entire “tea party movement” the Koch Brothers created by simply admitting what the Corporate Far-Right has been trying to do for […]

Sexy Republican rebel and multi-millionaire Gary Johnson used to be governor of New Mexico and love marijuana and climbed past all those frozen dead bodies to reach Mt. Everest like many rich thrill-seekers have paid to do, and that’s why he’s running for president with a very maverick-y platform of raising the retirement age for […]