Tag: social security

BERNIE AND HILLARY AGREE LOUDLY AT EACH OTHER FOR TWO SHOUTY HOURS!

Oh goodness and BREAKING NEWS and whoop-de-doo, there was another Democratic debate Thursday night. It was riveting. (LIES!) No for real it was great. (YOU'VE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME.) Well they yelled at each other a lot, at least! Here...
Gesturing like a rockstar

Bernie Sanders And Spike Lee Want To Do The Right Thing. (GET IT?)

With the New York primaries coming up in two weeks, noted political analysis journal The Hollywood Reporter brings us this sit-down with two favorite sons of Brooklyn, Spike Lee and Bernie Sanders, both of whom can be summed up...
We hear some Republicans are running, too

Maryland Has Two Awesome Democrats Running For Senate. Can We Have Both?

This week, our Senate preview will be a little different from the usual format: We're off to Maryland, where the two parties' candidates haven't yet been chosen. Barbara Mikulski, who served in the Senate for five terms, announced last...

New Hampshire Paper Regrets Endorsing Chris Christie, Must Have Been Drunk

Sometimes you do really stupid stuff that seemed like a great idea at the time, but you come to regret: falling in love with a psycho who never returns your black T-shirt, getting a tattoo under your navel that...
People with disabilities should just knock it off and stop faking

Sen. Tom Cotton Knows ‘Disabled’ Fakers Spending Your Tax Moneys On Drugs

Arkansas Sen. Tom Cotton returned to one of the Great Republican Myths the other day, suggesting the Social Security Disability program is not merely full of fakes and cheaters, but might actually cause economic decline and drug abuse. In...
RNC Chair Reince Priebus

Dear RNC: Stop Bitching About Last Night’s Debate Questions. You Sound Like A Idiot.

Wednesday night's (very dumb) CNBC Republican debate had barely ended before the RNC and individual campaigns were whining and kvetching -- to reporters, their moms, to Pinterest, and everywhere else -- that the questions were SO MUCH UNFAIRNESS to the brilliant...

Paul Ryan Is A Idiot, But Not Enough To Take Speaker’s Job. Or Is He?

Out of the chaos in Congress, following Kevin McCarthy's decision to not become the most inarticulate speaker of the House ever (because SEX SCANDAL, allegedly), a consensus has strangely arisen as sometimes happens in Washington and the political Talking...

Teabagger Rep. Jason Chaffetz Says Only He Is Sexy Enough To Be Next House Speaker

Ever since House Speaker John Boehner announced his October surprise at the end of September, probably because he was too drunk to read his calendar, Republicans have been whipping out their boomsticks to see whose is big and bad...
He is an actual, biological tortoise. And NRA stooge.

America All Out Of Workers Because Everyone’s Snorting Food Stamps And Social Security

So, Politico has an exciting (like Jeb!! Bush) new interview with Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, and for the most part it's pretty much what you'd expect: blah blah Barack Obama sucks, Harry Reid sucks, if only we had a...

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Why Did Jesus Send Us To Collections, Mommy?

Welcome back, sinners. It's time once again for the Snake Oil Bulletin! We would like to take this time to remind our readers that unless you've paid your monthly $7.99 readers' fee, in addition to keeping up on your...
Look, YOU try putting a bumper sticker on a camel...

‘God Hates Retirement’ Is Wingnuts’ Hot New Reason For Killing Social Security

We're pretty sure that two examples makes for a trend (or at least it does at the New York Times), so it's officially time to call this a genuine wingnut epidemic: Citing the Bible as proof that God wants...
Also paid no boat license fee

Very Sane Montana Republican Will Let You Retire At 600, Maybe

In Montanastan, there's this rich techie guy, Greg Gianforte, a Republican who's giving some thought to running for governor in 2016, just like every other successful business guy who's ever thought that running a state is exactly like running...
Mommy is here to teach you about mountains, Bristol.

The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Is All Het Up About The Spanishes

The Sarah Palin Channel has released three videos in the last week and a half, and none of them is interesting enough to warrant its own blog post. There's one on a Social Security Disability "snafu," one that is...

Bernie Sanders Will Officially Socialize You, America, From The White House

Rejoice, Liberal-Americansians, for Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders (Socialist and proud of it!) officially declared on Tuesday that he is running to be president of U.S. America. Awwwwww yeah! And lest you think Sanders is just some silly vanity candidate...
Paul Ryan, high as fuck

Paul Ryan Knows Real Problem With Welfare Is How Rich Those Poor People Get Off It

Republican Rep. Paul Ryan is the wonky boy genius of the House of Representatives, according to his colleagues and the voice in his head, because he wrote a "budget" one time to privatize Medicare, slash welfare benefits, and tell...
There'd be lots of good jobs for women, too!

Sundays With The Christianists: How Homeschooling Will Re-Christianize America

Remember the anecdote about what Gandhi supposedly said when asked what he thought of Western Civilization? "I think it would be a good idea." Colorado radio preacher and homeschooling advocate Kevin Swanson has a slightly different answer -- he'd...