For real-time information about the #WarOnChristmas, refer to the Wonkette war Twitter. Ex-PFC Wintergreen was cold. So cold. It seemed so easy to just drift off, but there was fucking Minderbinder screaming in his face, hoisting him over his shoulder, getting him the fuck out of there, man. He could only stare at Milo’s lips, from which no sound issued. The smell of nutmeg had deafened him. He looked down. Where his legs should have been was instead a giant web of cotton candy. He fainted. Read more on Catch-11/23: Being A True and Accurate Account of the Late War On Christmas…