The mean old plain-clothes cop who nearly massacred all DC Twitter-snowball people is in BIG TROUBLE for this shit, specifically for pulling a fucking LOADED GUN on some nerds throwing snowballs during a blizzard. “Assistant Police Chief Peter Newsham told reporters Monday that the detective has been placed on desk duty and his badge and weapon have been withdrawn.” The detective in question is a big dumb pussy who drives around in a Hummer. But Twitter users and ironic snowball “flash mobs” are still the lamest thing ever, so the plainclothes cop probably had “probable cause” to shoot maybe six of them, in the nuts. [Associated Press]

Millions of D.C.’s hippest Twitterers coordinated a massive cross-street snowball fight at the major intersection of U & 14th streets NW today, to regale in the fruits of God’s most terrifying thundersnowstorm from Hell. A victory for spontaneous social network organizing! Or not? Because at some point during this apocalyptic spectacle, a frustrated undercover cop was trying to navigate his car down the barely plowed U Street, only to reach the masses of unhinged Twitter Snowballers. This didn’t make his drive any easier. And then a few of them pegged his car with snowballs, leading to the worst massacre in human history. MORE »