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Tag: snow

'I can't feel my hands'

Morning Maddow: Snowmageddonghazigate Hits New York, Impeach … Someone

Monday's Rachel Maddow Show was of course all Snowmageddonghazigate, and they started the hour with Rachel freezing outside at Rockefeller Center. Happily, unlike Chris Hayes, who had to do his whole show outside, Rachel has enough star power to...

Your Southern Snowghazi Conspiracy Theory: It’s Not Snow, It’s Chemtrails! Or Soylent Snow!

Lest you might worry that in today's modern society of today, people are so jaded by technology and science that they have lost their sense of wonder and capacity to be amazed, watch this video of a South Carolina...

Unemployment Drops Below 9%; So, Feel Even Worse If You Still Don’t Have a Job

Job growth soared ahead and the unemployment rate fell in February, as the economy gained momentum and people who had been stuck at home because of January snow returned to work. Fucking snow taking all our jobs. GO BACK TO...

‘Cold Air Mass From Canada’ Attacks America, Never Forget

A devious "cold air mass" from Canada floated across our unprotected border and then proceeded to drop giant snow-dumps all over our great nation yesterday, forcing most Americans to abandon their SUVs on the highway and hike to the...

The Light Snow That Absolutely Decimated D.C.: A War Album

It snowed! Water! It fell from the sky and stuck to the ground! 500 million or so fewer inches of snow fell yesterday than fell during the Snowpocalypse, when D.C. was really knocked back to the stone ages; but...

Arianna Huffington Nearly Blows Up Plane With Rude BlackBerry Use

After a long night of partying in Las Vegas with the CEO of Twitter (what?), Arianna Huffington boarded a plane to New York and then immediately began to play Angry Birds on her BlackBerry, which is not only rude...

Reptile People From the Future Will Eventually Read Sarah Palin’s E-Mails

For reasons which are all too clear, The Wretched State of Alaska has delayed the release of Sarah Palin's governor e-mails fourteen times, and two more delays are pending! Why won't Alaska's bureaucrats let us read the gchat exchanges...

Evil White Substance Invades East Coast But Spares D.C. Cute Panic

Around this time last year, an HISTORIC EVENT that could "only" be described by the adorable moniker "SNOWPOCALYPSE" destroyed our nation's capital, forever. Yesterday, a similar event occured in the Northeast, where such a thing is known as a...

The Snow Took Too Much From Us, We Must Eat Out To Be Whole Again

Restaurants are all annoyed because no one ate out during the Snowpocalypse. But they don’t want you to think it’s just about the money. Oh, please! You see, while you were home throwing snowballs at armed civilians (cops?),...

Snowpocalypse Now

By the Comics CurmudgeonOH GOD YOU GUYS HAVE YOU LOOKED OUTSIDE LATELY! There is, like, so much snow! Frozen water! Falling out of the sky! And accumulating, on the ground! YOU GUYS! And...

It’s Like Attention-Starved Iran Doesn’t Even Understand At ALL How Much It Snowed Here

Germany and France will help out Greece so it does not have to default on its debt, which it is apparently on the verge of doing (?). According to the impartial observer Iran, Iran has successfully enriched uranium. It...

Bo Obama Is Just Cold Humping the Snow

While you were being gnawed to death by Ice Rats, the White House socialist Bo Obama Kennedy was just fooling around in the snow. Next week he'll be on the cover of The Sports Illustrated with his snowy ass...

Snowstorm, Devil-Umbrella Murder Major Garrett

Fox News' failure of a URL-shortener, Major Garrett, died in the snow today, maybe.

KATHLEEN PARKER'S NEIGHBOR WILL SHOVEL YOUR SNOW: Don't worry! The latest snowfall did not disrupt Kathleen Parker's scheduled Washington Post column today. PHEW. It is about how men, like her USA Today columnist neighbor, enjoy shoveling snow for fun,...

Whatever Washington D.C. Is Doing To Displease The Clouds So, Just Stop

Today Iran began enriching its uranium for what are definitely nuclear-type purposes. Joe Jackson, the alive father of the dead pop star Michael Jackson, believes his son was killed in a conspiracy, which is a thing that commonly happens....

<img src="http://wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/snowpocalypse3.jpg" class="left"SNOWPOCALYPSE III: LAST CRUSADE OF THE TRANSFORMERS: More better death for everyone! Worried that that 27" pile of water cocaine on your doorstep was looking a bit limp? Well here come ten more inches, to finally kill...