Tag Archives: smut

  it was a pleasure to burn

Ohio English Teacher Suspended For … Wait For It … Writing Novel

The North Canton City School District takes seriously the shitty, snippy bromide “those who can’t do teach” — so seriously, in fact, that they have suspended a high school English teacher because she wrote a novel. An English teacher writing a novel? Now we have heard everything! But you can kind of see their point: Carol Ann Eastman, writing under the pseudonym Deena Bright, produced a novel where a teacher has sex with people! People who are other teachers, and former students! (Not current students. That would not be legal.) This has led to lots of parents saying “and?” and some other parents screeching their bizarre little faces right off! Parents complained to the district when they found out about the subject matter of Eastman’s book, and many local parents feel Eastman shouldn’t teach high school English if she also publishes bawdy fiction. “That’s inappropriate,” opined Sharon Turkall, for example, according to WEWS-TV. “I don’t think I’d write about that whether it was fiction or truth.” Well, if Sharon Turkall wouldn’t write that about, then it just makes sense that no other people in the entire world should be allowed to write about that either. Read more on Ohio English Teacher Suspended For … Wait For It … Writing Novel…
  literary spats

American Literature Saved! Bin Laden Death Porn Displaces Actual Porn As #1 Best-Seller

If you ever want to weep bitter tears for the death of American good taste, just purchase a coach class domestic airline ticket and take a little trip across Real America. You will discover that literally dozens of your fellow airline passengers are openly reading 50 Shades Of Grey or its offshoots, a terribly written series of ostensibly erotic pamphlets that extol the virtues of S&M and straightfacedly present the word “argh” as an expression of erotic pleasure. These books originated as Twilight fan fiction but then had even that pleasure stripped from them before being published and becoming inexplicable worldwide best-sellers. But now, at least according to Amazon’s inscrutable book-ranking metrics, there’s a new timeless tale that Americans want to hear about: Osama bin Laden getting shot in the face by a bunch of Navy SEALs. Have we as a people finally decided that we prefer death to sex? Read more on American Literature Saved! Bin Laden Death Porn Displaces Actual Porn As #1 Best-Seller…
  the less you know

Bristol Palin’s Blog Ghostwriter Triumphs Over Bookstore’s ‘Sexuality’ Section Displaying Books About Sex

Do you remember Nancy French? She is the lady who writes all single-teen-mom Bristol Palin’s blog posts yelling at President Obama for not giving children a mother and a father, because gays. (It is that weird sad Maggie Gallagher Syndrome, where her boyfriend or whatever ditched her so she has redirected her rage onto Adam and Steve and whatnot with their whoozits in the uh-oh, NOM NOM NOM.) Anyway, Nancy French has done a thing in her own name this time, and that is that she has TRIUMPHED over SMUT, aka self-help books that teach you how to give good lady-head being displayed RIGHT IN THE SEXUALITY AISLE where customers might see them! No, they will just have to be in brown wrapper behind the counter please, these disgusting “books” what teach you how to bring your lady to orgasm, as if any lady would even WANT such a thing! Read more on Bristol Palin’s Blog Ghostwriter Triumphs Over Bookstore’s ‘Sexuality’ Section Displaying Books About Sex…
  that's not change we can believe in

Government To Offer Worthless Porn-Free Internet For Free

The FCC has announced a bold new socialist plan to provide wireless Internet all over America, for free! But it won’t have any pr0n, so Americans won’t actually use this free gift. Also, it will be hella slow, as it will be operated by wireless companies forced to do so, by the government, and in competition with the for-profit porn Internet wireless service, which will be super fast. [Silicon Valley Insider/Wall Street Journal] Read more on Government To Offer Worthless Porn-Free Internet For Free…
  cocktober

Albany Awash In Sick Porn Filth

Jesus, what are they putting in the water up there? Today’s tale of New York politicos embroiled in grody sex scandals brings you Robert Groezinger, a lawyer and aide to a New York state senator, who is accused of downloading a bunch of child pornography to his home computer. Authorities say Groezinger corresponded with someone in California, the international capital of perverts, in order to get over 40 images of whatever, it is gross, WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE. Read more on Albany Awash In Sick Porn Filth…