Wonkette

While Republicans in Congress are groping around for new arguments to deny poor kids health coverage, brilliant young conservative minds are posting their ideas on YouTube. This video — which Michelle Malkin picked up yesterday — suggests that if we want an expanded SCHIP, all Americans will have to start smoking to pay for it. Fair enough.

SCHIP: Care Enough to Smoke? [YouTube]

Barry Hussein Obama has struggled with his addiction to cigarettes for years now. Or, specifically, struggled with making sure no one ever actually saw him smoking. And now he claims he’s quit! Which, good for him, though do we really want a guy with his finger on the button desperately jonesing for a cigarette? And he is jonesing, if this recent graphic from an Obama campaign email is any indication. You see, the more money you raise for him, the more cigarettes he will want to smoke. Or something.

[Is Something On Your Mind, Senator Obama? [HuffPo]

This is the worst PSA ever — now we really want to light up and invade Iraq again. [Copyranter]

Your guest editor is probably the only Wonkette affiliate with an unabashed love of the zany antics politicians are always getting up to over in Merrie Olde Englande. Since it’s going to be another hour or so before anyone who can stop us will be coming online, we give you: The Case Of The Chain-Smoking MP. MORE »

Who says Hussein had nothing to do with 9/11? An ABC News shocker says the Illinois senator used to be known as “Barry O’Bomber.” It allegedly referred to his basketball shot. MORE »

* Man shoots own nuts. [stop, blog and roll]
* “APRIL 3, 2007 should be remembered as one of the worst in the history of the DC Council. That body not only voted initial approval of the anti-democratic takeover of the school system, it also gave sports corporado Abe Pollin a $50 million gift, approved the nomination of a new police chief with no visible concern over her involvement in the torture of protesters and declared mandatory for young girls a vaccine that has not been adequately tested.” [Sam Smith's City Desk]
* “Virginia’s House of Delegates today rejected a statewide smoking ban in bars and restaurants by a vote of 40-59.” [The Green Miles]
* “I think I have a crush on Jason Wilson, the Post’s new Spirits columnist. I love his voice. His columns reflect a Washington food and drinking scene that’s as fresh as those of us who live here know it is. This week subject: Cynar.” [Counter Intelligence]
* “Only 5 days left to purchase tickets for the Taste of the Nation event on April 9th.” [DC Foodies]

* “According to Sitemeter, my post ‘Is Being Bald That Bad?’ is far and away the most popular post I’ve ever done.” [The Underachiever's Progress]
* “Imagine starting your Friday with an invigorating morning bike ride, enjoying free coffee and breakfast while listening to jazz.” [Commuter Page Blog]
* “Jim Graham could write a new law every thirty minutes and he still couldn’t compensate for the changes in education, the economy and families that encourage self-destruction. One need only look back to the beginnings of the contemporary war on drugs which doubled the number of murders in DC in the 1980s to realize the limits of law enforcement.” [Sam Smith's City Desk]
* 17th Street between NH & Mass Avenues could possibly become a pedestrian promenade and rape luge. [the DC Sidewalk blog]
* Cool Whip and cigarettes delivered until 4AM. [The DC Concierge]

* “It seems to me that if the city is going to legislate a smoking ban and effectively throw us smokers into the street, that the least they could do is pony up and put ashtrays on every busy block.” [Good at Drinking, Bad at Life]
* “Only in DC do you see advertisements for military aircraft on public transit … Boeing’s C-27J spartan cargo and tactical transport aircraft.” [Life Off Balance]
* Beautiful picture of Columbia Heights. [Night Writer]
* “Giant local employer Fannie Mae expects it will lay off hundreds of workers in the wake of huge federal fines imposed in their accounting scandal. We’re sorry, unsuspecting Fannie Mae employees.” [DCist]
* “Vince Gill and Amy Grant!? I hate to spoil it for all you fans, but I bet they play ‘House of Love’ as their encore. I’m not linking to the lyrics to that musical abortion because they are insipid and the song will just end up stuck in your head and I don’t want to do that to you. I’m looking out for my readers. If Tony Snow’s cancer was a song, it would be ‘House of Love.’ It eats away at the very core of who you are.” [why.i.hate.dc]