It is an excellent question, the one we have just posed right there in the headline. Is Rick Santorum a gutter drunk? Buzzfeed investigates, and seems to have photographic proof that yes, Rick Santorum is a gutter drunk. Here is a Twitter showing him drinking beer at 11:30 a.m. because if he doesn’t, he will […]

Here is the funniest joke you will ever hear, falling from the nicotine-stained teeth of a southern belle: “Pretend it’s Obama!” It’s funny, you see, because Rick Santorum is shooting a gun! As her friends laugh and laugh at her witticism (which Santorum didn’t hear, obvs, he is wearing headphones), she indulges in a few […]

Looks like we’re getting to the shirty, snitty, smegma-lipped-pout phase of the GOP primaries. Rick Santorum would like to take Mitt Romney’s toys and go home! “You win by giving people the opportunity to see a different vision for our country, not someone who’s just going to be a little different than the person in […]

It’s a good thing Rick Santorum is so very concerned with our First Amendment right to freedom of religion. He says so every day! Which is why it might come as a surprise to some (it will not come as a surprise to anyone) that maybe Rick Santorum only believes in First Amendment rights for […]

It seems that Rick Santorum has found time in his busy schedule of condemning “radical” women for working outside the home and using birth control, and nagging English-speaking Puerto Ricans to speak English, and now is turning his hot, penetrating gaze to manfolk-bizness. Yup. Ol’ Smegma Lips is now coming for your porn.

Smegma-lipped poutmonster Rick Santorum, continuing his streak of saying only and at all times sensible and logically sound things, reminded Americans today that it was President B. HUSSEIN Obama who retroactively caused the housing crash because of how he is a Gaia-worshipping lesbian Wiccan dildonic priestess who hates America, and low gas prices, and Jesus. […]