• GO TO HELL, BIG CITY HUMOR-CRATS! Jesus, can’t wait to see what this guy whines about the next time we direct national traffic to one of his articles from our snobby bisexual computers in Metropolis: “Much of what Wonkette posts is sweating with anti-rural sentiment, attacking, for example, our newspaper for not being a major urban daily (thank God, because unlike the Seattle Post Intelligencer or Chicago Sun-Times, which Wonkette would no doubt respect, we can still turn a profit).” It’s true, we only make fun of rural communities, never major east coast cities like, say, “Washington D.C.” But we’d like to thank this dingbat for introducing us to the hilarious term “urban snark.” We still have no idea what that stupid fake word “snark” means, but at least we know that it comes in an “urban” flavor. [Daily Times Herald]

Your Wonkette loves its small-town Republican mayors who overshare their dumb little Obama jokes, so here’s some guy named Boyd Austin. A Wonkette Facebook troll operative claims that Austin is the mayor of something called “Dallas, Georgia.” And in his spare time, Austin likes to update his Facebook status with some of those wacky n***er jokes. Well, who knows what this really means.