sluts
TSA Keeping Us Safe From Terrorists And Teen Girls
We understand that the hard-working hard workers of the Transportation Security Administration are just trying to keep us safe from Muslims and stuff, and that is why they make us take off our shoes and strip down until we are practically nekkid and get X-rayed and put our laptops in their own special little boxes [...]
Sadness Abounds: CPAC To Be Less Sexxxxxy This Year
Remember how last year’s CPAC was teh hotttnesss? You had boys getting drunk and hooking up and passing out. You had ladies showing cleavage. CLEAVAGE! Does all this seem a bit deja vu to you, longtime Wonkians? Probably because Jim Newell mercilessly bashed ErickErickEricksonnnn and Melissa “Imma put Dr. in front of my name because [...]
Lazy Slut Who Did No Work Dinesh D’Souza ‘Resigns’ From Million Dollar Christian College Prez Gig
Dinesh D’Souza: Not having the greatest of all possible weeks? Just a couple days after the revelation that got engaged to and/or shared a hotel with his new lady without technically getting divorced from his old one (and also that lady has a husband too, or at least did recently, ha ha) comes the bad [...]
Zombie Breitbart Now, Somehow, Perturbed By The Word “Slut”
Let us all pause for a moment and listen closely, so as not to miss the quiet but familiar noise of another political argument going over Dana Loesch’s head. Loesch, Breitbart.com’s leader in the War On The War On Women, has (surprise!) a bone to pick with you, Feminidiots. She heard some of you at [...]
Arizona: Cutting Domestic Partner Benefits Can’t Be Anti-Gay Because We Hate Straight Unmarrieds Too
When South Carolina defunds services for rape victims, Florida closes its only TB hospital during a TB epidemic, and Pennsylvania says voter suppression is happy news, either Arizona or Texas has to be next in the rotation. No idea what madness Texas will pull today, but Arizona is appealing to the US Supreme Court to [...]
Next Vice President Nikki Haley Axes Half Mil From Rape Crisis Centers Because They ‘Distract’ From Public Health
First the sluts tried not to die from cervical cancer, but South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley had a national reputation to tend to, so she vetoed voluntary HPV inoculations for teen girls. But what have the sluts done this time? Well, they went and got themselves raped. According to the governor, state funding for rape [...]
American Birth Control Mandate To Lead To Communist Chinese One-Child Policy! Everybody Panic!
Hey ladies! How’s your womb? Is it fruitful? No? What about now? Is it fruitful yet? Well are you even TRYING? It is your job to fill your stomach with tiny babies, a Quiver full of babies even, and if you do not want, say, 19 babies, then you are a heathen Communist Chinee. That [...]
Heroic Colorado Ladies Lysol Students At Prom For Pretending To Do Butt-Sechs
Hey teens! Are you ready for the most magical night of your lives, when you will go to Manitou Springs City Hall and dance like you are pretending to do butt-sechs, and then later you will finally lose your stupid virginity in a haze of Bartles & Jaymes? That’s right, PROM NIGHT! Well, two chaperones [...]
Bishop In Search Of Hitler and Stalin Says Obama Good Enough Match
Peoria, IL – Bishop Daniel Jenky was conducting his Sunday message to a small group of Catholic followers in his modest countryside church, nestled in Peoria, Illinois. Bishop Jenky really knows how to deliver a powerful message. And just as Jesus would have done, he compared President Barack Obama to Adolf Hitler and Joseph Stalin. [...]
Bitter Newt Gingrich’s Mouth Writes Fox A Check His Ass Can’t Cash
Newt Gingrich was in Dover having a meeting with 18 Delaware Tea Party leaders. At such a crucial moment in his campaign, he did what any potential chief in command would do. He talked shit about his former boss Fox News for divorcing him for Mitt Romney once he proved to be cancerous to the [...]
Sad Unloved Rush Limbaugh Will Not Air Ad From Only Friend Westboro Baptist Church
You’d think a guy in Rush Limbaugh’s currently rather unenviable position would take all the help he can get — but apparently he is turning down sweet sweet ad $$$ just because it comes from the patriots of the God Hates Fags Brigade. Westboro spokesman Steve Drain told Raw Story that while his organization has [...]
Minnesota Nice: Entire GOP Leadership Doomed Maybe, Because Sex Stuff
When Minnesota Senate Majority Leader Amy Koch resigned superfast last December, she tried to pull the Sarah Palin Special “I didn’t want Minnesota to suffer a lame duck leader” total tripe and utter nonsense. Hey it was worth a shot! She was rather cut off in the knees on that, though, when the new majority [...]
Free Speech Martyr Rush Limbaugh Gets Hooker Website Ad Offer
Having spent four (12? 40?) days wheezing into his herpes-flecked microphone about hot nubile coeds and the sextapes they should make for him, poor martyred modern-day Mario Savio Rush Limbaugh finally caught a break when loathsome hooker website “SeekingArrangement.com” decided they could use some more publicity, and announced their hopes to advertise.
blog advertising is good for you
