Tag: slut pills

Professional cum-sock.

We Are Beginning To Think Texas Really Hates Transgender People

Look, a lawsuit to give religious wingnut doctors freedom to deny medical care to transgender folk, hooray!

Nancy Pelosi Just Wondering How Many Of You Republicans Are On Slut Pills

Nancy thinks Republicans denying Zika funding because of Planned Parenthood are a buncha birth control-using hypocrites, yep yep yep.
He seems nice

Minnesota GOP Congressional Nominee Has Fun, Creative Views On Women, Slavery, Everything

Meet Minnseota's brand new rightwing GOP nominee for Congress. He has the potential to out-Bachmann Michelle Bachmann, but comes from a swing district, thankfully.

SCOTUS Can’t Stop Making The Slut Pills Case More Complicated

Remember last week when we read the whole transcript of the "nuns don't want no slut pills" case, aka Zubik v. Burwell, aka Little Sisters of the Poor, and you were very grateful to us for our service to this...

We Read Today’s Entire SCOTUS Slut Pills Transcript So You Didn’t Have To

You may have forgotten that the Supreme Court of These Here Yoonited States actually hears cases, since for the last several weeks, its main functions seem to be (1) providing a rich source of material for conspiracy theorists who are pretty certain...

New York Priest Stole $1M Church Lady Donations For His Gay S&M Master, As One Does

Every Sunday around the great US and A, churches pass the collection plates, so they can use the money to buy food and clothes for poor kids, and send Bibles to China, and so their priests can have "drug-fueled...
They're watching you.

Jesus Buying All His Christmas Presents At Hobby Lobby And Chick-Fil-A From Now On

It's the most wonderful time of the year, almost! We've had a real good start to the War On Christmas, thanks to Starbucks making a cup that does not explicitly mention how the Baby Jesus died so you can...

Whore It Up And Fight Cancer With This One Weird Trick!

We all of us know how great birth control is, right? Heck, even "pro-life" Catholic Chris Christie uses it when he bones Mrs. Christie in her hoo-ha, and yes, you're welcome for that lovely mental image. Birth control is...
Don't you want to feel Chris Christie's rhythm?

Chris Christie’s Hot Tips For Sexing Your Lady Without Putting A Babby In Her Butt

Don't eat lunch today, because New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie has admitted in a town hall meeting not only to engaging in sexual intercourse with a human woman, but also being a whore who uses slut pills, to keep from...
They work!

Pro-Life Colorado Republicans Angry That Teen Abortion Rate Declining

Who would have guessed that the "pro-life" sex education plan, which is essentially "do not have sex ever, you whore," doesn't work? Everyone would have guessed that! But Colorado has a lesson to teach America about what DOES work,...
Shut the fuck up.

Mike Huckabee Will Be President Of Making All The Ladies Stop Saying Gay Cusses!

Former Arkansas governor and current traditional values hall monitor Mike Huckabee announced his candidacy for the Republican nomination for president today in Hope, Arkansas, because he is from there, just like Bill Clinton! The theme of the day was...
Santorum now available with SPF 45 protection!

Frothy Rick Santorum Thinking About Lubing Up For 2016 Republican Primaries!

Hurray, Rick Santorum is dipping his toes into the frothy fecal waters of the 2016 Republican clown car! Rand Paul and Ted Cruz are already in there, just splash, splash, splashing around, but Rick Santorum is not 100 percent sure he's...

Pentagon Used Your Money To Give Dudes $84 Million In Boners Last Year

People of the wingnut variety are always yammering on about "outta control government spending!" and "I am being tyrannied into buying SLUT PILLS for all the ladies!" and dumb liberals always say, you know, if they were coming after...
If it keeps the terrorists from winning, it's still civic-minded.

Fox News: Young Women Should Go Find Sexxytimes Online And Leave Democracy To Grownups

Fox News hostroid Kimberly Guilfoyle said Tuesday that America would be a far better place if young women would just please stay home and go do their Twittergrams and Tindermatches instead of cluttering up our elections with all their...
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All The Lady-Americans Are Saving Money On Slut Pills, Thanks Obama!

Hooray, woot, yessssssss, #winning, and other celebratory expressions of joy. Here's some good news, which we all need right about now, don't we? According to a new study by the Guttmacher Institute (you can read the full study here, if...

Look At This Total Colorado RINO, Giving Away Slut Pills Like Candy

Ladies and friends of ladies, you will be happy to know that Colorado's radical feminist Rep. Cory Gardner, who is trying real hard to unseat Democratic Sen. Mark Udall, wants to give you all the slut pills for your...