Tag: slaves

weird things in this scene: 1. Applejack with out her hat 2. Applejack reading 3. Applejack at a spa 4. Doktor Zoom using an applejack pic in the first place

Wonkagenda: Thursday, September 1, 2016

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Michelle Obama Does Topless Magazine Cover For Filthy Europeans

Here is the great news for those of us who have longed for some FLOTUS in our lives these past few days: Michelle Obama is involved in another scandal again, and surprise surprise, it involves Spain and France and...

Scalia: If States Can Resrict Those Freed Slaves, Then Why Not Messicans?

The Supreme Court conducted a vile smear against the noble state of Arizona today by shooting down most of SB 1070, the law that restricts illegal Mexicans from existing. Our old pal Antonin Scalia, writing the dissenting opinion, simply...

Here’s How the Koch Bros. Put ‘Raise the Retirement Age’ On TV

Why, exactly, should we raise the retirement age? Who benefits from that? Certainly not people, now being told that they'll have to toil until death after all, just like the slaves and serfs of the cruel past. And why...

Everybody’s Going To the U.S. Capitol To Get High

There is nothing quite like an early summer morning around our nation's Capitol, where happy families are wandering lost and smiling and snapping pictures and lining up for tours of the grand slave-built palace of democracy. But why are...

American Children’s Trigger Fingers Too Fat For Combat

Not even Elmo, Sesame Street's pusher extraordinaire, is capable of peddling broccoli to little children. Jonah Goldberg impresses the entire world with his 5th-grade Latin ("I likeus Star Trekius"). Fourteen dudes and Sofia Coppola were arrested for being terrible...

Harry Reid Wins Coveted Slave/Union Boss Endorsement

You know who likes Harry Reid? A "slave boss" from Dubai, who used slave labor to build Dubai's architecturally adventurous hospitality industry edifices, so Harry Reid is basically Simon Legree! Which makes sense, when you consider that unionized African...

Felled Southern Slaveowner Could Plan Coup Against Michael Steele, In Hawaii

Former South Carolina GOP chair Katon Dawson wanted so bad to earn his nut as chairman of the Republican National Committee in last year's hysterical six-dimensional gangbang of an internal election process, one that hilariously culminated in Michael Steele's...

Steve King Will Not Thank Slaves For Building The Capitol Because Of Photoshop, Lack Of Other White People Memorials

Congress' top-ranked asshole, Rep. Steve King of Iowa, has offered his rationale for casting the lone vote against a resolution to duct-tape an Etch-a-Sketch plaque to the assistant janitor's closet wall in the $600 million+ subterranean Capitol Visitors Center,...

Another Post About ‘Arlen Specter’s State,’ Virginia

Congratulations to Arlen Specter for joining the Dixiecrat Party of America's "Mid-Atlantic!" Here in America's slave city, Richmond -- a "blue city" now -- we located the "X" marking on the ground where the Enola Gay will finally destroy...

Southern Slave Owner Plotting Hit On Michael Steele

South Carolina slaveholder Katon Dawson was this close to becoming the new RNC chairman, but the yankees rallied 'round Maryland black person Michael Steele, who has since brought disgrace to the white party by talking about hip hop and...

That Cannot Be True, CNN!

This CNN article is consistently hilarious, the way it tries to segue between Barack Obama being president and the history of slavery. We learn all kinds of surprising information! "WASHINGTON (CNN) -- In January, President-elect Barack Obama and his...

Slaves Vote Heavily In Obama’s Favor

Whoa, it's the electoral map with... with freakin' dots all over the damn place, just cold clusterin' and aggregatin' over the blue areas. It is this: "Strange Maps overlays cotton production in 1860 with the 2008 presidential results." Awkward!...

John McCain Avoids Fun Family Slave Parties On Family Slave Plantation

John McCain's family owned at least nine million slaves, from Africa, back in the "good old days," before Nancy Pelosi and the Liberals waged an unjust war on the Deep South and made everyone pay black people for work....

Is Greenwich, Connecticut Too Big To Fail?

Okay so it's nine days old, but you must read this very delightful article about the effects of the financial crisis on Greenwich, Connecticut, a town where rich people live. There had been three types of people in Greenwich,...

New Lincoln Penny Honors Republican Homosexuals

Now that American Capitalism has completely failed and the U.S. currency is even more worthless, the folks at the U.S. Mint are having some fun by releasing this new Lincoln Penny, which reminds us that all Republicans are terrible...