Tag Archives: slavery

  Mostly True With Some Stretchers

Sundays With The Christianists: Satan Done Wrote ‘Huckleberry Finn’

More proof of his apostacy!
We’re beginning to get the feeling that Kevin Swanson, the Colorado radio preacher and homeschooling advocate, doesn’t like America very much. Just maybe. His ebook Apostate: The Men Who Destroyed the Christian West is mostly a rant about how America would be a much better place if only it were post-Reformation Europe, or at the very least if it were Puritan New England before they allowed in all those Quakers and voted for Dukakis. Mark Twain sits at the top of Swanson’s Public Intellectual Enemies list, because, as Swanson says, Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: Satan Done Wrote ‘Huckleberry Finn’…
  Pudd'nhead Swanson

Sundays With The Christianists: Mark Twain Was Really Unfair To Slavery In ‘Huckleberry Finn’

Leviticus warns about this
We’ll give Colorado radio preacher and homeschooling maven Kevin Swanson some credit: the guy has Big Ideas, and in his ebook Apostate: The Men Who Destroyed the Christian West, he’s not afraid to make bold claims. His goal, after all, is to prove that Western civilization has been in decline ever since Thomas Aquinas started letting pagan Aristotelian logic into his theology, and that virtually every aspect of what people think of as our culture is really an attack on the Bible, which is our real culture. So maybe it’s no surprise that when it comes to slavery, the central sin of American history,  Swanson explains that the worst thing about it was that America didn’t do slavery in the way the Bible intended. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: Mark Twain Was Really Unfair To Slavery In ‘Huckleberry Finn’…
  Conservative Comedy Strikes Again

Wingnut ‘Comedian’ Steven Crowder Sure Wishes Chris Rock Would Stop Being So Racist

Steven Crowder and his inner furry
There is exactly one good thing to come out of the fact that unfunny rightwing comedian Steven Crowder has slagged Chris Rock for comments Rock made in a recent interview with Frank Rich at NY Magazine’s Vulture website: It reminded us to go back and read Chris Rock’s long, excellent interview with Frank Rich at NY Magazine’s Vulture website. Read more on Wingnut ‘Comedian’ Steven Crowder Sure Wishes Chris Rock Would Stop Being So Racist…
  The Master's A Tool

Massachusetts Parents Freaked Out By Textbook That Says Not All Slaves Were Tortured

Remember how the Teaheads in Chandler Gilbert (Dok’s geographic aphasia strikes again), Arizona, are on the cusp of murdering some biology textbooks because the books say that abortion is a thing that exists? Well, it’s time for a big ol’ “Both Sides Do It!” jamboree, because in Brookline, Massachusetts, some parents are simply livid about a passage in a 5th-grade American History text that says — and we hope you are sitting down — that not every slave back in slavery times was horribly mistreated. A local teevee report explains that after parents complained to the local school board, the district announced the book, published in 2001, would be phased out at the end of the year; in the meantime, according to a letter sent to parents, it will not be used in history classes, but rather, the passage will be used to “question the authority of a published book.” Read more on Massachusetts Parents Freaked Out By Textbook That Says Not All Slaves Were Tortured…
  Let's All Sing The Doom Song!

Obama To Declare Martial Law, Kill Us All With Ebola Because Slavery

Stay calm, OK?
We bet you never would have guessed that the diagnosis of one (1) human being with Ebola virus would lead to a whole bunch of daft conspiracy theories, did you? Don’t be ridonkulous, you would say to yourself. We live in a highly developed modern technological society with terrific special effects in our movies, telephones with more computing capacity than was needed to go to the moon, and medical care that is second to none, if you can afford it at least. We are so advanced that we aren’t even impressed by digital watches anymore, that is how far we have come from the primitive ape descendants we used to be. Read more on Obama To Declare Martial Law, Kill Us All With Ebola Because Slavery…
  Teach The Nontroversy

Colorado Nutjob: Why Don’t Textbooks Explain America Voluntarily Stopped Slaving?

Some of teh volunteers at Antietam
The Great AP History Fight in Jefferson County, Colorado, continues into another week, and there have been a few new developments. For one thing, on Thursday night the conservative school board passed a compromise version of a proposal to review all curricular materials, with particular emphasis on Advanced Placement US History (APUSH). The original proposal would have screened instructional materials to ensure they promoted “positive aspects” of God’s Favorite Nation, like patriotism, respect for authority, individual rights, and the free enterprise system, while not encouraging “civil disorder, social strife or disregard of the law.” The compromise that passed will “reorganize existing curriculum review groups in the district to involve more student, teacher and community voices,” according to the Denver Post. Read more on Colorado Nutjob: Why Don’t Textbooks Explain America Voluntarily Stopped Slaving?…
  Tragical History Tour

Ben Carson Pretty Sure AP U.S. History Will Make Your Kid A Terrorist

Why so much negativity? There were probably slaves who were glad not to have the burden of children, too.
Ben Carson has given us yet another reason to hope that he’s going to run for president: this dopey video of his appearance Monday at the Center for Security Policy’s National Security Action Summit, in which he speaks very movingly about what he considers the many flaws of the revised Advanced Placement U.S. History (APUSH) framework, about which he appears to have read an article somewhere. Read more on Ben Carson Pretty Sure AP U.S. History Will Make Your Kid A Terrorist…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Day: Please Don’t Agree With Us Please

Vacation plan: Clean apartment, finish reading that Twain biography. Vacation reality: Booze & MLP fanfic
We’ve got mail! Or at least we’ve got people who want to leave comments, but who are not going to be admitted to the Commentariat because we don’t especially want them tromping around our parlor, especially not with what they’ve tracked in on their boots. Today, our sluicing out of the ol’ comments queue starts off with a couple of submissions from people who sorta kinda agree with something Yr Wonkette has published, but there’s just something about the comments that suggests we may not really want to invite these folks in, probably. Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Day: Please Don’t Agree With Us Please…
  Hot parenting tips that don't work

CNN’s Don Lemon: We Should Beat Our Kids Because It Worked For Slave Masters

Nope
Sure, slavery might have had its downsides, but CNN anchor Don Lemon is pretty sure there’s at least one valuable lesson to be learned: how to effectively discipline your slaves children to instill the appropriate amount of terror so they’ll know “who’s in control.” Read more on CNN’s Don Lemon: We Should Beat Our Kids Because It Worked For Slave Masters…
  taxes are also slavery

Rand Paul’s Utopian Vision For America Does Not – Repeat, DOES NOT – Include Slavery

We are really looking forward to Sen. Rand Paul’s upcoming presidential run, when the Aqua Buddha enthusiast will trot out his knowledge of American history that he learned reading the children’s menu at a Bob Evans off the interstate in Harlan County. Remarkably, this will be a step up in the knowledge department from most of the Republican base, but still. Read more on Rand Paul’s Utopian Vision For America Does Not – Repeat, DOES NOT – Include Slavery…
  These Textbooks Sound Awfully Familiar

New Texas Schoolbooks: Moses Wrote The Constitution For Slavery, Segregation

It is a right, actually. Not an excuse, however.
Well here’s a heck of a surprise! You may remember how Texas re-wrote its standards for history books back in 2010, to make sure that kids learned the important parts of history, like who Phyllis Schlafly is and how the Constitution was inspired by the Bible, while downplaying the importance of that nasty deist Thomas Jefferson. The standards adopted by the State Board of Education were so awful that the conservative Fordham Institute called them “a confusing, unteachable hodgepodge” and criticized the SBOE for its “blatant politicizing” of history — especially in its approach to the role of religion: Read more on New Texas Schoolbooks: Moses Wrote The Constitution For Slavery, Segregation…
  Not The 'Service Learning' Classes They were Looking For

Bible College Founder Pleads Guilty To Using Foreign Students As Slave Labor, Even Though Slavery Is In The Bible

Those students should be grateful, really.
Well this is certainly a bummer for the moral education of foreigners who simply wanted to come to the Lord: The founder of a South Carolina Bible college has pleaded guilty in federal court to four felonies and two misdemeanors for his treatment of international students as virtual slaves. Reginald Wayne Miller — whose middle name should have been all the warning anyone needed — was arrested back in March after his innovative work-study practices came to light. Students who came to the Marion, South Carolina, school hoping to seek degrees in theology or ministry instead found themselves learning a lot about how some Americans do fundamentalism: Read more on Bible College Founder Pleads Guilty To Using Foreign Students As Slave Labor, Even Though Slavery Is In The Bible…
  Lincoln's Doctor's Dog Was A Commie Too

Abraham Lincoln, Total Communist

Save it for COMMUNISM, that is!
We just keep falling in love all over again with Colorado wingnut radio preacher Kevin Swanson. Anyone who thinks that the Pill leaves ladies’ innards littered with tiny dead fetuses and that Mark Twain was possessed by demons is OK in our book (it is a rather strange book). And now Swanson has blown the lid off the biggest scam ever: Abraham Lincoln was a Marxist socialist commie who was bent on turning America into a socialist hellhole, and it worked!!!! Read more on Abraham Lincoln, Total Communist…
  it's not the heat it's the stupidity

Arizona Charter School History Book: Slavery Was Awesome!

An Arizona charter school is being criticized for using textbooks that “actively promote religious interpretations of American history.” The main texts for U.S. History classes at Heritage Academy in Mesa are two books by Glenn Beck’s spiritual predecessor, Cleon Skousen, a rabid anticommunist and pal (but not member) of the John Birch Society. The books, The 5,000 Year Leap and The Making of America, are required reading, and explain such obvious facts as the Divine inspiration of the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution, and the benevolence of slavery as an institution. Because of all that Godstuff, Americans United for Separation of Church and State argues that the books are not legal for use in a state-funded charter school, which seems to ignore the documented fact that the Constitution itself was ordained by God, which those liberals would know if they just read the books, sheesh. Read more on Arizona Charter School History Book: Slavery Was Awesome!…
  you'll just sing about jesus and drink wine all day

Dinesh D’Souza Wishes The Blacks Appreciated What Slavery Did For Them

Just like the great philosopher Pollyanna, Dinesh D’Souza has a relentlessly cheerful message to minority types who may feel that they somehow got some kind of a “raw deal” from American history: Stop being such a gloomy Gus, think about how lucky you are that your ancestors were brought to America in chains or driven off their lands, and turn that frown upside down! Read more on Dinesh D’Souza Wishes The Blacks Appreciated What Slavery Did For Them…
  b-b-b-benny and the derps

Ben Carson Civilly Disagrees With You About Your Filthy Sinning Gross Gay Marriage

Good Christ but 2016 seems relentlessly far away when we realize that we will have so much more of Bobby Jindal lurching to the right. No, righter. Keep going. We will have endless exegeses of the meaning of Hillary’s pantsuits. And worst of all we will have to continue to pretend that Ben Carson is both a serious contender and a serious individual instead of a laughable clown. Fresh off his amazing leap in illogic where he explained that government assistance is bad for everyone except Ben Carson’s mom, we now have Ben Carson’s Grand Compromise about the gays, which is basically STFU about your stupid gay marriage, gays, and in return you get more STFU. Read more on Ben Carson Civilly Disagrees With You About Your Filthy Sinning Gross Gay Marriage…