slavery

Why do you people insist on enslaving Lauryn Hill, by buying her records? Now, thanks to you, she is going to prison for not paying taxes on the 50 million units she sold, and if that is not slavery, we do not know what is. Or actually, if that is not slavery, Lauryn Hill does [...]

Well, great – a lady compared a thing to slavery! And it wasn’t abortion this time! Abortion is slavery a lot with some people, you ever notice that? So, what was it now you ask? Yes, yes, it was the homosexuals, of course. They are now apparently “ripping apart people’s lives and families” and we [...]

Oh, sure, we could be outraged and annoyed that any teacher of fourth-graders could be so clueless as to think it would be appropriate to distribute a “Slavery Word Problems Homework” worksheet to their students, because we would like to think that nobody would give nine-year-olds questions like “In a slave ship, there can be [...]

A guest post from your comrade Gary Legum. Here is the sum total of facts your Wonket knows about Emory University: it is located in Atlanta, and Emory’s current president, one James Wagner, is dumber than a bag of hammers. Okay, perhaps that last one is more opinion than fact. Here, let us read this [...]

Welcome to Wonkette. Whether you’re just joining us or are a long-time fan, you’re probably noticing that we have to cover gun violence and general gun stupidity ALL THE TIME NOW. So that’s fun. Actually, that is not fun. It is skull-crushingly depressing. We explained this to our Editrix and she agreed, noting that it [...]

Hey, so after Arctic griftbull Sarah Palin was balls-out racist yesterday, saying Blackrack Obama was committing a “shuck and jive” against white people, she took to Facebook to pen a response to her awful critics. Well, not “pen,” someone else wrote it for her. Someone white. For the record, there was nothing remotely racist in my [...]

Arkansas Representative Jon Hubbard (R-Dixieland) would just like to go on the record and clear a few things up. For example, the era of Political Correctness has led to a profound mis-characterizations of slavery, which was actually a blessing in disguise (but only for black people) because have you SEEN Africa? He hears it is [...]

There seems to be one and only one qualification for becoming a Prominent Black Conservative these days: accusing other black people of either being willing slaves, or accusing some Democrat of enslaving them. It is perhaps the easiest job in America, and has seen a drastic uptick in employment opportunities since Barack Obama became President. [...]

In news that is certain to leave birthers confused and angry, a team of genealogists has announced that President Barack Obama may be descended, through his mother, from one of the first African slaves in North America. In a transparent PR bid that may nevertheless turn out to be historically significant, online genealogy outfit Ancestry.com [...]

Because we hate ourselves, your Wonkette spent the early part of its Fourth of July Holiday surfing for wingnuts yelling at unpatriotic celebrities criticizing the Birth of America. This thing, “Shameful: Aaron Sorkin, Left celebrate Independence Day by slamming America; Update: Chris Rock joins in: ‘Happy white peoples independence day’; Don Cheadle laughs along; Zach [...]

Quick, everybody! To the Youtube version of the Book of Leviticus! There, you can listen about what kind of extra-virgin olive oil to anoint yourself with while you scatter the ashes of BudgetTravel.com’s charred corpse! But why are you sacrificing Budget Travel to your cruel and vengeful Yahweh? Oh, only because it hates all Christians, [...]

Why does President Obama hate President Rutherford B. Hayes so, so much? Our Kenyan Overlord slammed the beloved Ohio beardocrat today for supposedly dismissing the hot new invention of his time, the telephone. That idiot hated the telephone like the dickens, Obama said, maybe. But what if Obama is wrong? What if Rutherford B. Hayes [...]

Sarah Palin went on Heinity on Thursday to do some sort of to-the-core-of-the-earth analysis of something Obama-related, god knows what, but perhaps hugs? (Hannity describes it as a “sort of bit of information,” which is the closest any conservative has come to admitting how flea-sized this incident is.) And the gist was Sean Hannity asking [...]

Tennessee teabaggers are growing tired of being corrected by their fifth-grade relatives every darn time they get a notion to holler some about how Thomas Jefferson was human history’s inventor of freedom — maybe it’s time to LEVEL THE PLAYING FIELD, HMMM KIDS? The state’s tea party leadership made an indignant request to the state [...]

Georgia’s Gwinnett County School District is coming under fire after parents came across math homework featuring some really atrocious questions involving slavery. Two questions in particular — one involving the number of oranges picked by slaves and another about the number of times Frederick Douglass might have been beaten in a week — were apparently [...]


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