slavery
Lauryn Hill, Joe Francis Both Going To Prison For Crime Of Being Too Rad
Why do you people insist on enslaving Lauryn Hill, by buying her records? Now, thanks to you, she is going to prison for not paying taxes on the 50 million units she sold, and if that is not slavery, we do not know what is. Or actually, if that is not slavery, Lauryn Hill does [...]
Radio Lady Wants To Abolish Homosexuality
Well, great – a lady compared a thing to slavery! And it wasn’t abortion this time! Abortion is slavery a lot with some people, you ever notice that? So, what was it now you ask? Yes, yes, it was the homosexuals, of course. They are now apparently “ripping apart people’s lives and families” and we [...]
Hero Student Teacher Stops Racist Math Problems Dead
Oh, sure, we could be outraged and annoyed that any teacher of fourth-graders could be so clueless as to think it would be appropriate to distribute a “Slavery Word Problems Homework” worksheet to their students, because we would like to think that nobody would give nine-year-olds questions like “In a slave ship, there can be [...]
It Is Cute When White People Try To Have Thoughts About Slavery
A guest post from your comrade Gary Legum. Here is the sum total of facts your Wonket knows about Emory University: it is located in Atlanta, and Emory’s current president, one James Wagner, is dumber than a bag of hammers. Okay, perhaps that last one is more opinion than fact. Here, let us read this [...]
Genius Gun Guy Wishes Django Unchained Were Real
Welcome to Wonkette. Whether you’re just joining us or are a long-time fan, you’re probably noticing that we have to cover gun violence and general gun stupidity ALL THE TIME NOW. So that’s fun. Actually, that is not fun. It is skull-crushingly depressing. We explained this to our Editrix and she agreed, noting that it [...]
Sarah Palin Will No Longer Be Racist As Soon As She Understands What Racism Is
Hey, so after Arctic griftbull Sarah Palin was balls-out racist yesterday, saying Blackrack Obama was committing a “shuck and jive” against white people, she took to Facebook to pen a response to her awful critics. Well, not “pen,” someone else wrote it for her. Someone white. For the record, there was nothing remotely racist in my [...]
Nice Black Lady On Fox And Friends Makes Responsible Slavery Comparison
There seems to be one and only one qualification for becoming a Prominent Black Conservative these days: accusing other black people of either being willing slaves, or accusing some Democrat of enslaving them. It is perhaps the easiest job in America, and has seen a drastic uptick in employment opportunities since Barack Obama became President. [...]
Why Does Chris Rock Hate Slavery So Much?
Because we hate ourselves, your Wonkette spent the early part of its Fourth of July Holiday surfing for wingnuts yelling at unpatriotic celebrities criticizing the Birth of America. This thing, “Shameful: Aaron Sorkin, Left celebrate Independence Day by slamming America; Update: Chris Rock joins in: ‘Happy white peoples independence day’; Don Cheadle laughs along; Zach [...]
‘BudgetTravel.com’ Joins War On Christians
Quick, everybody! To the Youtube version of the Book of Leviticus! There, you can listen about what kind of extra-virgin olive oil to anoint yourself with while you scatter the ashes of BudgetTravel.com’s charred corpse! But why are you sacrificing Budget Travel to your cruel and vengeful Yahweh? Oh, only because it hates all Christians, [...]
Palin: Obama Seems To Want To Go Back To The Days Of Slavery
Sarah Palin went on Heinity on Thursday to do some sort of to-the-core-of-the-earth analysis of something Obama-related, god knows what, but perhaps hugs? (Hannity describes it as a “sort of bit of information,” which is the closest any conservative has come to admitting how flea-sized this incident is.) And the gist was Sean Hannity asking [...]
Tennessee Tea Party Don’t Want No Talk o’ Slavery In Them Schoolbooks
Tennessee teabaggers are growing tired of being corrected by their fifth-grade relatives every darn time they get a notion to holler some about how Thomas Jefferson was human history’s inventor of freedom — maybe it’s time to LEVEL THE PLAYING FIELD, HMMM KIDS? The state’s tea party leadership made an indignant request to the state [...]
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