Tag Archives: slavery

  Servile Whites Movement

‘No Racial Slurs’ Rule At Confederate Rally Worked Out As Well As You’d Expect

It's about a heritage of resistance to tariffs
So a few hundred supporters of the Treason Flag rallied at Stone Mountain, Georgia, the (re)birthplace of the modern KKK, and despite the organizers’ explicit warning that there should be “no racial slurs,” since the Liberal Media would be watching, it turns out that some folks just couldn’t help themselves, but only because they were provoked by agitators who were offensively black and/or liberal communist scum. Read more on ‘No Racial Slurs’ Rule At Confederate Rally Worked Out As Well As You’d Expect…
  New Genocide Needed So Wingnuts Can Find Fresh Metaphor

Watch Erick Erickson Shove This Coat Hanger Up GOP’s Vagina!

Little angel babies!
. Perpetual rage machine and Fox News contributor Erick Erickson is really, really mad that Planned Parenthood is getting rich off trafficking in murdered baby parts (which it isn’t, but shut up, he knows it is). Not only is he demanding a government shutdown if funding for Planned Parenthood isn’t immediately aborted, he also says that if the GOP doesn’t have the huevos to completely bring government to a halt over a bunch of misleadingly edited videos, then it’s damn well time for conservatives to destroy the Republican Party. More. Maybe they could start a whole new party just for anti-abortion absolutists, with a bloody fetus hanging on a cross for its symbol. Read more on Watch Erick Erickson Shove This Coat Hanger Up GOP’s Vagina!…
  Kinder Gentler Segregationists

Come On Down To This Confederate Flag Rally, But Please Don’t Say N*gger Out Loud

Not intended to be a factual illustration
There’s yet another rally planned to show support for the flag of the losing side in the Civil War, this time set for Saturday at Stone Mountain in Georgia, and just to make sure there’s no confusion about the True Meaning of the Treason Banner, the organizers of the event have reminded attendees not to do anything uncouth, like shouting racial slurs. Can’t imagine why a flag rally that’s about “heritage, not hate” would even need such a reminder. Oh, actually, maybe we can. Read more on Come On Down To This Confederate Flag Rally, But Please Don’t Say N*gger Out Loud…
  Those Who Forget History Are Doomed To Live In The South

Butthurt Crackers Butthurt Over Slavery Monument Since They Can’t Have Treason Flag

No problem, man, we got too many dang ol' illegals here already, man.
Taking the concept of false equivalence to its illogical conclusion, some morons have started a petition to remove the African-American Monument from the South Carolina statehouse grounds, because it’s offensive to white people. As Great Statesman Lindsey Graham observed, the African-American history memorial was built as a face-saving part of the 2000 compromise to move the Confederate flag from the statehouse dome, so now that the flag has been removed from the Confederate war memorial, some butthurt Lost Causers say it’s obviously time to get rid of the other part of that deal. Read more on Butthurt Crackers Butthurt Over Slavery Monument Since They Can’t Have Treason Flag…
  no YOU are the real racist

Dumb Okie Hicks Greet ‘President’ Obama With Treason Flag, Love

President Obama arrived Wednesday for a state visit to the foreign hinterlands nation of Oklahoma, and the natives, they were restless! And racist! Now usually when a duly elected president (twice, fuckers, TWICE) visits, people of all political stripes drop their grievance shit for a moment and show a little respect to the office, but not Oklahoma wingnuts. Instead they decided to show up at Obama’s hotel and wave around their Confederate flags, probably because they’re so proud of their Heritage Not Hate: Read more on Dumb Okie Hicks Greet ‘President’ Obama With Treason Flag, Love…
  Tragical History Sewer

New Texas Textbooks Love The Confederacy (And Their Sisters) So Much

This is not an actual Texas schoolbook. This illustration has been chosen for its humorous hyperbole. Please complain on Facebook about this illustration.
Hey, just in time for the post-4th-of-July reminders that school starts up again far too soon, comes this Washington Post story about the brand new history books that will be hitting Texas classrooms in the fall. As we’ve noted previously, the Texas Board of Education adopted some fun new history standards in 2010, and the final products of all that hard work to ensure that children know that Moses wrote the Constitution are finally on the way! We can hardly wait to get our hands on a copy! Read more on New Texas Textbooks Love The Confederacy (And Their Sisters) So Much…
  Pretty sure this isn't racial transcendence

Idiot Wingnut Chick: America’s Not Racist, Except For Obama

Let's talk about slavery, Heather.
Here America is, all fired up for yet another solemn Conversation On Race, when we don’t even need to be doing that in the first place, since racism is over. The Charleston shooting was an Isolated Incident, because while individual racists still exist, America as a nation does not have any lingering institutional racism, according to Fox News contributing wingnut Katie Pavlich, who begins a column for The Hill by setting a straw man gloriously ablaze, much like the recent spate of burning black churches across the South: Read more on Idiot Wingnut Chick: America’s Not Racist, Except For Obama…
  Nearer My Derp To Thee

Nice Knowing Y’all, Louie Gohmert Says God’s Gonna Smite Us Now

Works way better than tinfoil
Well, America, it’s been a nice run, but it’s all done now, you realize, because the Supreme Court did Gay 9/11 all over us today. And who knows that better than Texas Congress-ballbearing Louie Gohmert, who had dire warnings for the once-great United States of America. Get ready, America: It’s Smitin’ Time. Read more on Nice Knowing Y’all, Louie Gohmert Says God’s Gonna Smite Us Now…
  We Watch So You Don't Have To

The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Says No Racists On $20 Bill, Let’s Stick With Andrew Jackson

The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report, Presented By Fartknocker
As even the paupers of the Wonketariat know, Andrew Jackson’s face adorns the American $20 bill. That is, as they say in academia, “problematic,” so Senator Jeanne Shaheen of New Hampshire has introduced a bill to replace Andrew Jackson’s face with that of a woman. That doesn’t sit so good with Sarah Palin, no sir. Read more on The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Says No Racists On $20 Bill, Let’s Stick With Andrew Jackson…
  Or You Could Look Up Thurber's 'If Grant Had Been Drinking At Appomattox'

It’s Appomattox Day. The South Lost. Deal With It.

Yeah, yeah, noble cause. Freaking slavers.
One hundred fifty years ago today, the American Civil War ended with Robert E. Lee’s surrender to Ulysses S. Grant at Appomattox Court House, which wasn’t a courthouse but a town named after a court house, and the actual house belonged to Wilmer McLean. This is generally considered a fortunate thing, since “The Surrender At Wilmer’s Place” would not look nearly as good on a commemorative print. The relentless romanticizing of the Southern cause — state’s rights, the Old Noble Ways, the Southern Aristocracy, and the Fight for Freedom for people of a certain pale hue — started well before the war, and the mere fact of Southern defeat did little to slow it. After all, what’s more romantic than a Lost Cause? It was a good enough reason for a delusional actor to shoot Abraham Lincoln just a week later, and it was a good enough pile of romantic mush to keep the Lost Cause ideology alive long after the Confederacy and all its leaders and followers were dead and in the ground. Read more on It’s Appomattox Day. The South Lost. Deal With It….
  Praise The Lord And Pass No Legislation

Virginia Guy Knows Who Ended Slavery, And It Was Definitely Not ‘The Government’

See, the glowy stuff there at the top is God
A Leesburg, Virginia, town councilman has a novel theory of how American slavery came to an end: God did it, not big government. We’re inclined to think perhaps He had a little help from Ulysses S. Grant and William Tecumseh Sherman, plus a couple million other fellows in blue uniforms, as well as a bearded gent who favored stovepipe hats, but sure, let’s hear out this Thomas S. Dunn II and see what he’s got to contribute to the conversation. Read more on Virginia Guy Knows Who Ended Slavery, And It Was Definitely Not ‘The Government’…
  Kortney loves her vegetables

Pat Robertson: You Know What’s Not Godly? Vegetables.

Can't. Even.
Televangelist conman-for-Jesus crazy mofo Pat Robertson has scammed a lot of money over the years by offering “the Lord’s” pro-tips on his teevee show, the 700 Club. We could devote 29 hours a day to watching him and trying to make jokes for you about what a crazy mofo that crazy mofo really is. However, we don’t have that kind of time, nor have we enough spoons with which to stab ourselves in the ear, so we limit ourselves (and you, dear readers, YOU’RE WELCOME) to the best of his worst. Like how yoga will turn you into a Hindu-speaking devil worshipper. Or how Jesus wants you to get rich quick by investing in oil, NOT abortion pills. Or why you should not touch that dirty orphan because you don’t know where it’s been. Read more on Pat Robertson: You Know What’s Not Godly? Vegetables….
  Dispatches from the community confinement center

Felon Dinesh D’Souza Has Met African-Americans, And You, Obama, Are No African-American

Don't look at me, I'm just a fish lips, I'm not responsible for the dumb things I say
When pitiful, pouty, put-upon felon Dinesh D’Souza last embarrassed himself (that we know of), it was Monday, and he was delusionally ‘splaining that there was AN INTERESTING PARALLEL between his life and that of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. You see, King was the target of J. Edgar Hoover, and in D’Souza’s D’Imagination, he is being targeted by Barack Obama, for the crime of making a hilariously dumb movie that nobody paid attention to and that had absolutely no effect on Barack Obama or his presidency. Oh, and also Obama is targeting D’Souza for that other ACTUAL crime he committed, that of funneling illegal campaign contributions to a losing loser candidate. For his funneling, he got himself landed in a really cushy version of the pokey, and the judge did not enhance his sentence for the fact that his crime was also a really dumb losing game to begin with. I’d say Obama’s been PRETTY lenient. Read more on Felon Dinesh D’Souza Has Met African-Americans, And You, Obama, Are No African-American…