Oh no! Our greatest President, George Bush Jr., is DYING of SKIN CANCER on his DUMB FAT FOREHEAD — YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW PEOPLE: “WASHINGTON (AP) - President Bush underwent treatment for a benign lesion over the weekend, leaving a noticeable scab on his forehead as he went about his business on Tuesday.” Benign? Ha, wrong! Nothing about this man is benign, he is a filthy sticky pad of cancer: “Bush has had lesions removed before: two noncancerous moles from his left temple in 2007, a precancerous lesion on his left arm in 2006, a noncancerous skin growth on his neck in July 2005, small lesions from his left shoulder and face in 2004, and others from his face in December 2001.” George Bush has been dead since 2001 and no one knew, not even the MSM, this is terrible & we should bomb someone (Rumsfeld). [AP]

WASHINGTON POST WOULD RUN MORE PHOTOS OF McCAIN IF HIS FACE WASN’T ALWAYS MELTING OFF: “Obama and his backgrounds are simply more photogenic. … McCain also is often wearing a baseball cap outside to protect his skin from another melanoma, and it shades his face.” [Washington Post]

Here’s John McCain — who we hope never gets cancer again, BRIDGET — explaining his little operation this morning: “I, as I do every three months, visited my dermatologist this morning. She said that I was doing fine. (She) took a small little nick from my cheek as she does regularly and that will be … biopsied just to make sure that everything is fine.” She takes pieces of his cheek regularly? Then how is there SO MUCH CHEEK remaining? [Washington Post]

• A PIMPLE?: Regular cancer-getter John McCain “had a spot removed from his face on Monday during a routine checkup by a doctor in Phoenix, an aide said.” McCain’s team has called it a “precautionary removal.” And was the “precaution” that he would die of vicious cancer if they didn’t remove it? [Reuters]