Whether you’re a 50-year-old American captain killed in Iraq or a 33-year-old Egyptian hijacker flying into the World Trade Center, George W. Bush considers you “kids.” MORE »

Wonkette commenter BlinkyThe3EyedFish came up with a pretty great drinking game for tonight. Maybe there really is hope for America!

Oh, and before we get to the game (after the jump), here are the actual details for tonight’s thrilling episode of “Grumpy Old Men: The Series.” The debate starts at 8 p.m. Washington time, 5 p.m. Los Angeles time. In order to remind the audience that it’s a presidential debate and not just a bunch of senile old guys talking about their cancer surgeries, there will be a large prop behind the geezers: Air Force One. A total of 10 white Republican men will take part, with about seven of them anxious to be the night’s “Mike Gravel.” Courtesy of Mitt Romney, all candidates will have to be tested on the E-meter for excess Thetans.

OK, let’s make our list for the liquor store ….

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It’s been a few days or at least hours since Christopher Hitchens gave an interview. Let’s check in with the Jesus-hating Bushbot ex-Trotskyite American citizen (wait, what?):

All writers go on about how difficult writing is, and of course there’s that, because it gets harder when you compare yourself to better people, but to be absolutely frank, I don’t find writing hard at all. I could in a course of a day perfectly easily write a column that’s 1,000 words for Slate and a book review for the Sunday Times of London, for example.

Yes, Hitch, we all sort of noticed that about you. MORE »

Do you have opinions that do not properly respect everybody? Well watch out, because liberals are coming for your job! MORE »

George Washington University is famous for its high-profile celebrity commencement speakers: Desmond Tutu, George W. Bush, Hillary Clinton, Herman Wouk, William Rehnquist, Bill Cosby, Bob Dole and Sandra Day O’Conner are some of the big names that have entertained GW graduates. MORE »

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In yet another outrage of someone saying something — but in print this time! — the Washington Times is in a heap of trouble for running some ad from a crackpot. MORE »

* “So what is the real price from McPherson Square to Dulles? $51 dollars.” [Metroblogging DC]
* Our own Lonleygirl 15 wants to send you a postcard from France. [Mayhem by Miss M]
* Here’s a list of writers you’ve never heard of who’ll take your money and tell you how to capture your dreams. [The Happy Booker]
* You people are fucking crazy: “Hurts that the person you chose to try to push around (because I am so young-looking, perhaps?) didn’t let it happen, huh? And it hurts that she hit you where it stings — insult my youth and intelligence, and I have a free pass to insult your craggy face permanently lined with stress and anger, in addition to the sub-par intelligence that foolishly opened you up to my rebuttal in the first place.” [Sonnet87]
* Shut up. [DCist]

Call us old fashioned, but when we stop by the Washington Post’s website it is usually to read news from Washington. Instead, the former newspaper’s website is topped off with an “interactive video feature” of random people spouting gibberish. MORE »

Fox funnyman Neil Cavuto apparently had a nervous breakdown and is now just watching wedding videos and crying.

“Our generation is luckier than others that didn’t have the benefit of video images. Sometimes just old photos thrown in a box.”

Does that mean anything? What’s with the bizarre sentence fragment? Read Cavuto’s devastating cry for help, after the jump.

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If one more person sends us a form email with the subject-line “Sen. Obama and Liquid Coal” we are going to run over an endangered falcon in a monster truck, which we’ll be driving to a wind farm that we intend to burn down. Then we’ll take a coal-powered steamship to a polar ice cap and set up some energy-inefficient space heaters. While taping down the nozzles on aerosol cans. MORE »