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Posts Tagged ‘shrek’

Kwame Kilpatrick Vetoes His Own Removal

Wednesday, May 28th, 2008

Things haven’t gotten much better since we last checked in on Kwame Kilpatrick, the comical mayor of Detroit and a leading contender for Barack Obama’s black vice presidency. You may recall that his “woes” include bangin’ his chief of staff — the gal he seduced by texting racy notes about “Benz Chili Bowl” — and then firing a bunch of officials who found out about the affair, which he denied doing last summer until, of course, THE TEXTS CAME OUT. He also held sexy stripper parties at his mayoral mansion. So he’s the best mayor of Detroit since Eminem, and he’s under indictment for everything, and yesterday he basically vetoed his own ouster.

The city council is trying to get rid of this clown however it can.

It will likely follow the obvious path, which is that the council president, a monster named Shrek, says “WE GON REMOVE KWAME” to his friend Donkey, who is Eddie Murphy in Furry get-up, and then Monica Conyers is the evil purple dragon, the end. Wait, what? Oh, right: the city council can begin removal proceedings at the discretion of the council president, and probably will.

The council did, however, vote to request that Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm use her magical girl powers to remove Kilpatrick from office — a largely “symbolic” measure. But Kwame is a Man’s Man and does not like symbolism, which is why he VETOED THE MEASURE yesterday in hilariously tyrannical fashion:

But Bill Goodman, the council’s attorney, said Kilpatrick’s veto will have no impact on the proceedings that could lead to Kilpatrick’s ouster. That’s because only one person’s written request — in this case from council President Ken Cockrel Jr., acting on behalf of the council — is needed to begin the process, Goodman said.

Goodman called the mayor’s logic “lunacy” because the charter prohibits a mayoral veto on quasi-judicial actions.

Kilpatrick will likely respond that the charter says nothing about “Kwame-judicial actions.”

Mayor Kilpatrick vetoes removal effort [Detroit Free Press]


Eighth Grader Owns Monica Conyers In Debate!

Thursday, May 8th, 2008


You may recall how Monica Conyers, wife of ancient Congressman John Conyers and President Pro-Tem of the Detroit City Council, recently got into a comical shouting match with the Council President while in session and ultimately called him “Shrek,” as a pejorative. In this video, the Detroit News brings a group of schoolchildren into the Council chamber to ask Conyers about her behavior, and it devolves into a heated debate in which an 8th grader completely destroys Conyers. You will not regret watching the whole clip. [YouTube]