There’s only one thing America loves more than a tragic random shooting: the made-for-TV movies, wall-to-wall Greta Van Susteren coverage, novelized accounts, and inexpensive action figures that follow these embarrassingly frequent incidents. If you are one of the creepy losers who made a little scrapbook about the Virginia Tech shooting that you leaf through when To Catch A Predator goes to commercial break, you can probably answer the questions in this quiz. Otherwise, congratulations, you still may get laid this century. [MSNBC]

A third policeman in the span of four days was shot and killed in Philadelphia this morning, and police are still looking for this “armed and dangerous” serial cop-killer. Wait a sec…. Has anyone seen Mike Gravel lately? [CNN]

Did any of you tune into the afternoon press conference at the Christus Spohn Hospital (Corpus Christi Memorial), where Dick Cheney shooting victim Harry Whittington is being treated? It wasn’t as exciting as the White House briefing earlier this afternoon; but we tuned in, since it was either that or Judge Hatchett. See — we stay home and watch TV, so you don’t have to! MORE »

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