We don’t know what to say about the tragic shooting in Troutdale, Oregon, or the tragic shooting in Vegas, or the tragic shooting in this town or that town or this state or that state. Perhaps there’s no point in words at a time like this, a time when we’re so gun-weary as a nation […]

According to Wayne LaPierre, this isn’t supposed to even be possible, but yesterday’s mass shooting in progress was stopped by a good guy with no gun: A Seattle Pacific University (SPU) student tackled a gunman who was reloading his shotgun after killing one student and wounding two others inside a campus hall Thursday afternoon. [...] […]

Curtis Reeves, a Responsible Gun Owner in Wesley Chapel, Florida, was ready to defend himself when he went to a matinee showing of “Lone Survivor” Monday — ignoring the Grove 16 Theaters’ ban on carrying weapons in the auditorium, no doubt because he knew, as do all Responsible Gun Owners, that mass killers target Gun-Free […]

Would you believe it’s the final Derp Roundup of 2013? This is where we bring you the virtual melon rinds and coffee grounds of stories that didn’t quite earn a full post of their own, but were too stoopid to ignore altogether. We find they go down a lot easier if you’re heavily anaesthetized — […]

Happy Sacred Baby Festival to all you Wonkers! Hope you’ve had as much festivity as you can handle, and perhaps more.* And now, for some Happy Holiderp: a roundup of seasonal stories that were too stoopid to ignore altogether, but not quite worth a whole post of their own. We recommend that you treat it […]

Today in Responsible Gun Owners, a Kentucky gentleman with a concealed carry permit had a minor mishap while using the restroom. The unidentified man was answering the call of nature in a restroom at Fazoli’s restaurant in Elizabethtown, Kentucky, when he set his handgun on the toilet paper dispenser, because that’s an excellent place to […]

We are starting to think that maybe school safety demonstrations are not healthy for children, especially this “Red Ribbon Week” thing that’s supposed to scare them away from drugs. In California and Indiana, some exceptionally well-thought-out combinations of law enforcement and little kids didn’t go so great. On the upside, the kids at those schools […]

Just in case you good folks aren’t already filled with rage and sad this morning, how about this news from Charlotte, North Carolina? Police were responding to a 911 call about a possible breaking and entering (a woman had called saying someone was repeatedly knocking on her door), and then: Police say that when they […]

Sheriff’s deputies in the Florida panhandle town of Warrington shot a 60-year-old man in the leg Saturday as he was getting a cigarette out of his mother’s car in the driveway of the home they share. A neighbor called 911 when they saw Roy Middleton getting into the car at 2:24 a.m., and the Escambia […]

Perhaps you’re aware of the Most Depressing Thing on the Internet, Slate’s running tally of every US gun death since Newtown, which at the time of this writing stood at 4,850 including the six who were killed in Santa Monica in Friday’s ordinary run-of-the mill mass murder spree by a kevlar-clad neo-berserker lunatic. Eleven people […]

We’ll admit it’s no “Two Alligators, A Pole Dancer And Pot At Shooting Scene,” but it’s a close second: In Anchorage, Alaska, a double amputee named Daniel Pirtle got into a dispute with Walmart assistant manager Jason Mahi over whether Pirtle could bring his unleashed dog (named “Wookie,” because why not?) into the store. Manager […]

Hello Wonkette Trend Watchers! What have we in the world of trigger-happy madness today? It looks like America’s mania for shooting folks is showing no signs of abating. And people are so eager to hop on board this trend that the level of provocation considered acceptable grounds for gun-play is reaching new lows. They’re all […]

You know what? We’ve been trying to write this thing for hours and failing, because there’s no good snark and we are supposed to bring you snark.  But there are 27 dead people in Connecticut, and 20 of them are children. Little kids, too – like kindergartners, like third graders, like fifth graders. Most of […]

Kentucky Senator Rand Paul has some ideas. And they are that if Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is going to be such a total Hitler as to suggest that a senator who wants to filibuster something has to actually filibuster that thing, then Rand Paul would like some Senate “rule changes” of his own! First […]

A Florida man who objected to loud music coming from a parked car let his rage go to eleven, so he shot and killed one of the teens sitting in the car. Did we mention that this happened in Florida? And that the shooter is a white gun nut and the victim was a black […]