Tag Archives: shooting

  Aggravated Doing Unto Others

Christian End Times Family Band Gunfighting With Cops For The Lord

C'mon Get Raptured!
Several members of a Christian family band from Boise, Idaho, got into a brawl and gunfight with police in a Walmart parking lot in Cottonwood, Arizona, on Saturday night, leaving one member of the family dead and the rest in police custody. The group, which called itself “Matthew 24 Now” (GET IT???*) looked forward to the coming End Times, and apparently felt the need to hurry up the schedule a little when they attacked police and fired on them. Maybe they just loved the smell of cordite in the evening. Read more on Christian End Times Family Band Gunfighting With Cops For The Lord…
  Maybe More Guns Would Help?

Fox News: Eric Holder Really Should NOT Have Shot Those Cops In Ferguson!

The other chyron for the story: 'Street Justice: Police officers shot in wake of DOJ Report'
While two police officers were still hospitalized after being shot in Ferguson, Missouri, early Thursday morning (they have since been released), and police have no suspects, Fox News and other rightwing sources have identified the true culprits: Attorney General Eric Holder and everyone who’s ever protested against police brutality. Read more on Fox News: Eric Holder Really Should NOT Have Shot Those Cops In Ferguson!…
  People Are Horrible: An Ongoing Series

Idiot Atheist Murders Three Muslim Students In NC; Conservatives Are Greatest Victims

Retroactive Christians
Congratulations, America, we have a whole new terrible murder to turn into a debating point in the Culture Wars! And just to mix things up a bit, the victims were three Muslim students (all of them apparently smart over-achievers who should have had beautiful lives ahead of them), and the accused killer is described variously as an “atheist,” a “radical atheist,” or a “crazed progressive atheist.” Read more on Idiot Atheist Murders Three Muslim Students In NC; Conservatives Are Greatest Victims…
  We're Fresh Out Of Kittens Sorry

Who Are We Shooting This Week? Oh, It’s Girl Scouts!

The problem isn't guns, of course. It's never guns.
So let’s get straight to the good-ish news: Nine-year-old Sinai (pronounced “sih-NYE”) Miller, who was hit by a stray bullet from a drive-by shooting Tuesday while selling Girl Scout Cookies in Indianapolis, is going to be fine. You know, as fine as a 9-year-old girl can be after a gunshot wound to the leg. Also, people are ordering cookies from her Girl Scout troop like crazy, because that dizzy optimist Anne Frank was right about most people being good at heart, and if you can’t make it so a nine-year-old girl becomes un-shot, at least you can buy some goddamned cookies. It’s a profoundly decent useless gesture, which is about what we’re reduced to when we can’t really be shocked by a kid in a poor neighborhood catching a bullet. Read more on Who Are We Shooting This Week? Oh, It’s Girl Scouts!…
  Wouldn't A Strongly Worded Letter Have Been Enough?

All Muslims Everywhere Murder French Satirists; Lone Wolf Acting Alone ‘Bombs’ NAACP, Alone

the very definition of 'milling around'
We’ve got all sorts of international and domestic terrorism for you this morning; please make use of kitten photos as needed. In Paris Tuesday, 12 people were shot to death at a satirical newspaper that had frequently run cartoons making fun of Islam: Read more on All Muslims Everywhere Murder French Satirists; Lone Wolf Acting Alone ‘Bombs’ NAACP, Alone…
  What you Gun Do?

BREAKING: Idaho Newspaper Trashes NRA, Has Not Yet Been Burned To Ground

Shopped? Probably not, but who knows?
Image from Larry Brown Sports Just thought you Wonkers should know that not everybody in Idaho is a raving open-carry gun-fondler, although that does tend to be the prevailing political view in the Gem State. Consider, for instance, this editorial from Sunday’s Twin Falls Times-News, in which the editorial board takes the National Rifle Association to task for its opposition to even the slightest hint of regulation of guns. Read more on BREAKING: Idaho Newspaper Trashes NRA, Has Not Yet Been Burned To Ground…
  what comes around goes around

Murder Is Illegal (Even In Montana)

Kaarma Is A Bitch
A Missoula, Montana jury found Markus Kaarma guilty of deliberate homicide, just for killing German exchange student Diren Dede in a carefully laid trap. Even though he used a gun, like a good American Patriot™, AND the kid was ON HIS PROPERTY (CASTLE DOCTRINE! ARGLE BARGLE!). We understand if you missed this one, as it got buried beneath an onslaught of terrible gun murder news. Read more on Murder Is Illegal (Even In Montana)…
  Our Cold Dead Hands

A Responsible Gun Owner Thanksgiving

Not related to the story but CUTE.
With the annual Harvest Feast nearly upon us, when we give thanks for all our blessings, especially the Second Amendment, which makes all other blessings possible, let’s take a quick look at how America’s Responsible Gun Owners are keeping themselves safe from crime and preventing tyranny. Read more on A Responsible Gun Owner Thanksgiving…
  Bikini Kill

Stupid Swimsuit Model Does Not Respect The Gun, Should Probably Die

Over a Barrel
On Wednesday, you may recall, there was some gunplay in Canada, which was terrible and wrong because the shooting was done by a bad guy with a gun, who was then stopped by a good guy — actually a pretty awesome guy – with a gun. And people wrote all kinds of things about it on the Twitterbox, as one does. Unfortunately, one of the people who went and had an opinion about it was swimsuit model person Chrissy Teigen, who wrote the most OUTRAGEOUSLY INSANE thing about guns ever: Read more on Stupid Swimsuit Model Does Not Respect The Gun, Should Probably Die…
  Your Morning Maddow

Rachel Maddow Explains The Shootings In Ottawa So We Don’t Have To (Video)

Wednesday, a guy with a rifle, Michael Zehaf-Bibeau, went on his own one-man jihad in Ottawa, killing a soldier at the national war memorial and then going into the Parliament building, where he was shot by security before he could harm anyone else; this was the second attack on Canadian military members this week. We’re just going to let Rachel Maddow explain it all to you because 1) it’s a big story but 2) there’s nothing funny about it for us to say, and 3) Canada. Read more on Rachel Maddow Explains The Shootings In Ottawa So We Don’t Have To (Video)…
  The Rant Is too Damn High

Illinois GOP Candidate’s Hobbies Include Screaming, Dog Shooting, Gun Losing

He seems nice
Let’s meet Illinois state Rep. Mike Bost, who’s hoping to unseat freshman congressman William Enyart in the 12th district. Bost’s campaign slogan is “Passionate Leadership for Southern Illinois,” which is his attempt to turn his status as a minor YouTube celebrity into a Congressional seat. YouTube just loves his occasional tantrums on the floor of the Illinois House, like the time in 2012 when he had a meltdown over what he believed was unfair rules of procedure — rules that he had voted for when Republicans held the chamber. While screaming about the Democrats’ oppressive floor rules that had been “crammed down our throats” (again, rules which he had voted for and which Dems kept when they took over the House), he threw a stack of paper in the air, punched them, and shouted “Let my people go!” It’s kind of epic, and pretty much the sort of thing we’d love to see in the U.S. House, because while we like good government, we depend on a steady stream of bad government to write about. Read more on Illinois GOP Candidate’s Hobbies Include Screaming, Dog Shooting, Gun Losing…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Day: Labor Day Loonies Edition

Dear Sir or Madame: I am outraged by the lack of variety in the .gifs on this blog!
Happy Labor Day, workers of the world! While you and your grillables marinate in anticipation of the big holiday Bar-B-Q/bonfire, we bring you these offerings from the comments queue. Just be careful not to leave them out too long — like mayonnaise, they go bad in the sun. Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Day: Labor Day Loonies Edition…
  Worth a Thousand Words

Portraits of Little Kids With Their Own Real Guns

We don’t know what to say about the tragic shooting in Troutdale, Oregon, or the tragic shooting in Vegas, or the tragic shooting in this town or that town or this state or that state. Perhaps there’s no point in words at a time like this, a time when we’re so gun-weary as a nation that these sorts of incidents are beginning to seem commonplace to some of us. The brilliant site FotoMofo was kind enough to let us know about this stunning series of portraits by Belgian photographer An-Sofie Kesteleyn, who is based in the Netherlands but traveled to the United States to photograph children with real guns marketed to them. She was moved to do so after learning of the death of a two-year-old child, shot by her five-year-old brother, in Kentucky. READ MORE AT HAPPY NICE TIMES PEOPLE… Read more on Portraits of Little Kids With Their Own Real Guns…
  our warm live hands

In Seattle, Good Guy With Pepper Spray Stops Bad Guy With Gun

According to Wayne LaPierre, this isn’t supposed to even be possible, but yesterday’s mass shooting in progress was stopped by a good guy with no gun: A Seattle Pacific University (SPU) student tackled a gunman who was reloading his shotgun after killing one student and wounding two others inside a campus hall Thursday afternoon. […] Jon Meis, a student working as a building monitor, pepper-sprayed the shooter as he stopped to reload, then put him in a chokehold and took him to the ground, according to police and a friend who spoke with Meis after the shooting. Then other students and faculty members rushed to hold the shooter down until police arrived. And like so many mass shootings, the guy was stopped by being tackled, not by a good guy with a gun. Go figure. Read more on In Seattle, Good Guy With Pepper Spray Stops Bad Guy With Gun…
  please use a silencer during the film

Heroic Armed Citizen Stops Movie Texting With Gun, Murder

Curtis Reeves, a Responsible Gun Owner in Wesley Chapel, Florida, was ready to defend himself when he went to a matinee showing of “Lone Survivor” Monday — ignoring the Grove 16 Theaters’ ban on carrying weapons in the auditorium, no doubt because he knew, as do all Responsible Gun Owners, that mass killers target Gun-Free Zones specifically because they know they won’t face an armed citizen who can stop them. Or maybe because as a retired Tampa Police captain, Reeves just felt better carrying a gun. And so, when he got into an argument with Chad Oulson over Oulson’s texting during the previews, Reeves was ready for action, and after the argument escalated and Oulson threw popcorn at him, Reeves pulled his gun and shot Oulson dead. Oulson’s wife Nicole was wounded when she raised her hand in front of her husband; the round went through her hand and killed him. Just before Reeves shot him, Oulson reportedly said that he was texting his 3-year-old daughter. Isn’t the Second Amendment a wonderful thing? Read more on Heroic Armed Citizen Stops Movie Texting With Gun, Murder…
  all the derp that's fit to herp

Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Compost Heap Of Cretins And Creeps

Would you believe it’s the final Derp Roundup of 2013? This is where we bring you the virtual melon rinds and coffee grounds of stories that didn’t quite earn a full post of their own, but were too stoopid to ignore altogether. We find they go down a lot easier if you’re heavily anaesthetized — if you can’t find alcohol, a couple whacks with a large cartoon mallet may do the job. Read more on Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Compost Heap Of Cretins And Creeps…
  have a herpy derpy christmas

Derp Roundup: Special Christmas Edition

Happy Sacred Baby Festival to all you Wonkers! Hope you’ve had as much festivity as you can handle, and perhaps more.* And now, for some Happy Holiderp: a roundup of seasonal stories that were too stoopid to ignore altogether, but not quite worth a whole post of their own. We recommend that you treat it like dollar-store eggnog: add enough liquor, and you just won’t mind the taste anymore. Our first tale of Christmas cheer comes from Lake City, Florida, where the Columbia City Seventh-Day Adventist Church had a “drive through Nativity” scene with more than just a manger. It also depicted other parts of the Gospel accounts, like King Herod’s slaughter of the Innocents — the attempt to knock off Baby Jesus by killing all boys under the age of two. A local mom complained that the display, with decapitated dolls and fake blood everywhere, left her two-year-old daughter seriously freaked out: “as we pulled up further, they were depicting decapitating babies and that happened to be on the side of the vehicle that my 2 year old was on and it was very traumatic for her she started crying and screaming because of the baby and it took me hours to calm her down.” Hey, it’s in the Bible, so it’s suitable for all ages, lady. You have a problem with the Bible? Extra points to the doofus local teevee reporter for describing the display as “historically accurate,” but all points lost for their not including any video of the actual display. No photos appear to be online either, so instead we’ll just link to an appropriate song. Read more on Derp Roundup: Special Christmas Edition…
  a shot in the dork

Responsible Kentucky Gun Owner Wounded In Heroic Shootout With Toilet Paper Dispenser

Today in Responsible Gun Owners, a Kentucky gentleman with a concealed carry permit had a minor mishap while using the restroom. The unidentified man was answering the call of nature in a restroom at Fazoli’s restaurant in Elizabethtown, Kentucky, when he set his handgun on the toilet paper dispenser, because that’s an excellent place to put a loaded weapon. It slipped from the dispenser and went off, shooting the man in the leg. Read more on Responsible Kentucky Gun Owner Wounded In Heroic Shootout With Toilet Paper Dispenser…
  won't Someone Think Around The Children?

A Children’s Treasury Of Children Injured By People Who Care About Children’s Safety

We are starting to think that maybe school safety demonstrations are not healthy for children, especially this “Red Ribbon Week” thing that’s supposed to scare them away from drugs. In California and Indiana, some exceptionally well-thought-out combinations of law enforcement and little kids didn’t go so great. On the upside, the kids at those schools got a free bonus demonstration of how EMTs and ambulance crews work. Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Children Injured By People Who Care About Children’s Safety…
  crawling from the wreckage while black

North Carolina Cops Shoot Dangerous Black Man Running Toward Them For Help After Crash

Just in case you good folks aren’t already filled with rage and sad this morning, how about this news from Charlotte, North Carolina? Police were responding to a 911 call about a possible breaking and entering (a woman had called saying someone was repeatedly knocking on her door), and then: Police say that when they got to the scene, a man matching the caller’s description ran toward them. One of the officers fired his stun gun, but it was “unsuccessful.” Another officer then opened fire, police said. Jonathan Ferrell died at the scene. He was shot several times. He was unarmed. Police now believe Ferrell was seeking assistance after crashing his car. WE FEEL SO MUCH SAFER NOW. Read more on North Carolina Cops Shoot Dangerous Black Man Running Toward Them For Help After Crash…
  picked the wrong week to keep smoking

Hero Florida Cops Save Neighborhood, Shoot Man Getting Cigarette From Mom’s Car

Sheriff’s deputies in the Florida panhandle town of Warrington shot a 60-year-old man in the leg Saturday as he was getting a cigarette out of his mother’s car in the driveway of the home they share. A neighbor called 911 when they saw Roy Middleton getting into the car at 2:24 a.m., and the Escambia County deputies fired multiple shots at Middleton as he complied with their order to get out of the car with his hands up, possibly because no black man could possibly be up to any good at that hour. Read more on Hero Florida Cops Save Neighborhood, Shoot Man Getting Cigarette From Mom’s Car…
  Cold Dead Hands

Hey NSA, If You’re Reading This Could You Maybe Do Something About All These Gun Horrors? (Updated)

Perhaps you’re aware of the Most Depressing Thing on the Internet, Slate’s running tally of every US gun death since Newtown, which at the time of this writing stood at 4,850 including the six who were killed in Santa Monica in Friday’s ordinary run-of-the mill mass murder spree by a kevlar-clad neo-berserker lunatic. Eleven people were killed that day in all; another, in Arizona, was shot by his four-year old son when the kid found an unsecured handgun in a friend’s home. Friday, June 7th was the worst day for American gun deaths since Wednesday, June 5th, when 17 people died after being shot, or shooting themselves, which was terrific compared to the day before, when 28 died in random and not-so-random acts of Freedom.* So now we are just waiting for the idiot bilge of “This proves gun control doesn’t work” and “It’s because of that Snoopy Poop Dog and the kids with their pinball games” and “False flag tyranny!” to come pouring in, and oh here “Santa Monica College was a gun-free zone DO YOU SEE THE PATTERN?” Thanks, Free Republic, knew we could count on y’all. How else is America blaming guns for all its problems today? Read more on Hey NSA, If You’re Reading This Could You Maybe Do Something About All These Gun Horrors? (Updated)…