Tag: shooting

British Member Of Parliament Jo Cox Murdered; American Gun Nuts Have A Good Larf

Jo Cox, a member of Parliament, has been murdered. Americans who love their guns are excited by the chance to point out that British gun control laws can't stop every murder, so obviously laws are worthless.
did someone need the hydrangeas watered?

Exciting NRA Ad: Hollywood Elitists Want To Take Your Guns, Laugh When You Die

We decided to watch part of Tuesday's election coverage on Fox News last night, and in the middle of all the ads for prescription pills that will give you boners and make your bowels work right, this brilliant bit...
See? Problem solved!

Florida Man Pretty Sure Constitution Lets Him Shoot Anyone He Wants By Accident

Florida is very, very proud of its wonderful gun laws, which in addition to the always-delightful "Stand Your Ground" legislation that allows citizens to defend themselves against scary blacks in hoodies, also include another law that not only allows...

Dudes Who Shot Up Black Lives Matter Crowd Not Quite Racist Enough For Hate Crimes Charge

We are learning ever so many charming things about the four dudebros arrested for the shooting attack on five people attending a Black Lives Matter protest in Minneapolis last week. For one thing, we have learned alleged shooter Allen...
Florida Man was nowhere near as cool

Florida Man With Two Guns Does Road Rage The Best, Shoots Self In Leg

Oh golly, is there anything more exciting than a story where "Florida Man" and "Responsible Gun Owner" are the very same guy? And it's NOT George Zimmerman, we mean? From Fort Myers, Florida, comes this exciting tale of road...
Oh, fine. Begin the recitation of stupidity.

Gays, Abortions, Blacks, Oh My! Your Virginia Shooting Tragedy Bingo

Wonder why bad things happen to good people? We've been scanning the dregs of the wingnuttosphere since Roanoke TV journalists Alison Parker and Adam Ward were shot to death while doing a routine interview Wednesday, and you'll be astonished...
Sawed-off shotguns: They're in the Constitution!

Here’s How The Second Amendment Has Prevented Tyranny Lately

While we know guns had nothing to do with the tragedy today that took the lives of Virginia TV station WDBJ reporter Alison Parker and cameraman Adam Ward, in addition to the suicide of the shooter, a disgruntled former...
Their loved ones ask that they be remembered alive and smiling.

How We Will Not Be Talking About The Murder Of Two Virginia Reporters

This is what we will tell you about the two young TV journalists for Virginia station WDBJ who were shot to death on Wednesday, on air. Reporter Alison Parker had just turned 24, and had celebrated her birthday with her colleague...
Two more beneficiaries of unrestricted access to firearms

TV Reporter And Cameraman Shot To Death On Air, Because America

A Virginia TV reporter and cameraman were shot dead on live TV while reporting in Moneta, Virginia, Wednesday morning, and it is definitely too soon to suggest that maybe all the guns floating around the nation are in any way...
How Not to Protect America

Armed Idiot Protects Oklahoma Gun Store From Muslims By Shooting Himself

In Oktaha, Oklahoma, the owners of a local survivalist shop and gun range decided last week that it was high time to jump on the "Muslim-free zone" gravy train, because there's a whole lot of ISIS activity in the...
He seems nice

Gov. Sam Brownback Has A Brother, And He Also Blows A Lot

Billy Carter? Roger Clinton? Amateurs! When it comes to embarrassing political siblings, those two are pikers compared to Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback's brother Jim, according to an in-depth investigative piece published in the Topeka Capitol-Journal Sunday. According to reporter...
Good ol' '50s MAD

Schmuck Shoots At Jade Helm Troops, Thwarts Obama’s Invasion Of Mississippi (Updated)

An unidentified idiot with a gun fired shots at soldiers training near Camp Shelby, Mississippi, who were taking part in the Jade Helm 15 training exercise that has so many wingnuts exercised; nobody was hurt, but the suspect is...

It Was A Bad Week To Go To The Grocery Store: Your Florida Roundup

Florida, for all of its many demerits, has one thing going for it: Publix, a chain of truly excellent grocery stores that stretches throughout the Southeast (Protip: There is no sub quite like a Publix deli sub). But every...
A true work of naive American art and his painting

Fellow Gun-Humper Who Shot At George Zimmerman Just ‘Standing His Ground,’ What A Surprise

For the "Well, Of Course, It Had To Happen" files today, we learn the attorney for Matthew Apperson, the guy who shot at American Second Amendment hero George Zimmerman last month, is planning on using a "stand your ground"...
You see what happens when you feed a stoner scrambled eggs?!

Butt Ass Nekkid Michigan State Senator Shoots Up Ex-Wife’s Car, May Have Issues

A confrontation between a naked Michigan state senator and his ex-wife in the wee hours of Sunday morning made for competing narratives and movie references this weekend. Did Virgil Smith attack his former spouse after an argument when she...
Was Zimmerman targeted for Loving Freedom Too Much?

Somebody Shot George Zimmerman, Let’s Speculate Why

In breaking "Everyone saw This Coming" news, we learn that Second Amendment Hero George Zimmerman suffered minor injuries in a shooting incident Monday afternoon in Lake Mary, Florida. Lake Mary Police Chief Steve Bracknell said that Zimmerman was not...