Tag: shoes

i didn't do it. seriously.

Cool Down From Your Next Payless-Shoe-Fire With A Frosty Mug Of America

It's your week in tales from the CLASS WAR! What are those hero corporate persons up to this week??? You know, some stuff.

Have You Ever Noticed That Ladies Are So Dumb And Stupid? The Washington DC Metro Has!

Hey bitchez. Whatcha doin'? Being stupid bitches? That sounds about right. Here, for instance, is a documentary prepared by some cool guy at whoever does the in-house documentaries for the DC Metro public transportation system, which everyone loves very...

Tennessee Rep. Marsha Blackburn Defends Sacred Right To Buy Cheap Shoes, Crappy Insurance

Tennessee congressjerk Marsha Blackburn doesn't hold with an oppressive federal government meddling in people's choices -- unless of course it involves sluts who want contraception or abortions, duh -- and she gave HHS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius a piece of...

Here Is Your Heartwarming 2012 ‘Throw A Poor Family Out In The Snow’ Christmas Miracle, America!

Just in case you were feeling hopeful about humanity or anything, we thought we'd nip that right in the bud. Yep, it looks like the Iconic Christmas Story for 2012 has arrived! In Grand Junction, Colorado, a single mother...

Janet Napolitano Has Seen The Promised Land And It Is Barefoot-Optional

Airport psychic Janet Napolitano was listening to the planes go by from the food court, staring into her magic crystal homeland security ball, when she heard a Voice from the Future! It said, "Keep your shoes on, America." Air...

Huffington Post Girl Reporter: Michele Bachmann Is A-OK, Except For Ugly Shoes

Important AOL spam site "The Huffington Post" has a Fashion Reporter! She likes to report on girly things like fashion. But sometimes when you let ladies post things on the Internet without a professional man checking them first, the...

DC Men’s Shoes For Clowns and Elves, Not Men

A very kind, smart, attractive young woman I know took grave exception with my denunciation of those medallion shoes all the District's WASPy women seem to fancy. While willing to admit that perhaps they were, indeed, crap shoes, she...

Shoe Pervert Rick Perry Collects Hot Pixxx Of Your Footwear On The Internet

Rick Perry, the most foul hair-monster of a governor since Rod Blagojevich, has amassed a small collection of sexy shoe-fetish photographs on his Flickr site. The name of the collection? "Kicks for Rick," of course, showcasing exactly how Rick...

Did Barack Obama Get His Shoes Fixed?

Remember when poor street hustler Barack Obama had big old holes in the soles of his Florsheim salesman shoes? Here's a new arty sex photo by White House pornographer Pete Souza, and the shoe soles maybe have holes, still?...

A Children’s Treasury Of Shoe-Throwing Games

Before the dawn of the Internet, people used to waste time the old-fashioned way: by playing solitaire on their shitty Windows 3.1 machines. Then Doom and Quake and The Sims and Spore came along, and time-wasting evolved into a...

Shoe-Hurling Iraqi Hero’s Show Trial Set For December 31

A very brave man once stood up in a press conference and took off his shoes one at a time and threw them at the President of America, who nimbly ducked because he still has the reflexes of a...

George Bush Vs. The Shoes

By the Comics CurmudgeonHey, everybody, did you hear about what happened in Iraq this week? Obviously, I'm not talking about the carnage and the death, because the "surge" is "working" and the daily levels of terrible violence there...

Best Leftist Protest Idea Ever: Throw Shoes At Dana Milbank

The Code Pink liberals held their "throw shoes at Bush" reenactment yesterday, yay. A small but dedicated crowd went and threw shoes at a plaster Bush zombie. But then something far worse appeared, from the "neo-liberal" Washington Post newspaper:...

Shoe-Throwing Becomes Leftist Protest Du Jour

So the members of lefty protest group Code Pink were watching the YouTube of the Iraqi journalist chucking his shoes at shifty George Bush and realized, "OMG, why didn't we think of that first?" And voila, press release! A...

Throw Shoes At Animated George W. Bush!

You people are very on top of things, aren't you? You say, "Ha ha it would be funny to have a game like the EcoDriving USA game, only with throwing shoes at George W. Bush," and voila, here it...

Iraqi Journalist Throws Shoes At George Bush Jr., Microphone Beats Up Dana Perino

Nice dodge on the first shoe, President George! What the hell? And ha ha, Dana Perino got a black eye from a black microphone who later carved "I" -- for Iraq! -- into her butt cheek, because of Obama....