We are not safe, anywhere, anytime, from the poisonous cancer death shrapnel remains of the “destroyed” Satellite of Love & Death. Some of us, however, are more safe than others. Mysterious operatives from deep within the British Royal Government have alerted Wonkette to the imminent doom that faces one of England’s most treasured towns: Cromer, the “world capital of wicket goblins,” in Norfolk shire. We urge the frumpy Tories of Cromer to stay within their quaint, thatched-roof cottages today, to avoid satellite death. MORE »