Wonkette

According to Shepard Smith, terrible ice-traffic problems exclusively targeted John McCain voters in Maryland on Tuesday night. Never has such horror been visited upon America since September 11, 2001. Thank god Shep was there to talk us through it all. [FOX News]

Here’s a happy feature story from Shep: The FBI can listen to your conversations even if you’re not on the phone and your mobile is turned off. How? There are little GPS locater devices in all modern cell phones. You can supposedly disable them, but you really can’t. MORE »

Here’s the secret reward Fox News viewers get for putting up with the loud, obnoxious babble all day: Shepard Smith loudly reenacting his apparently character-defining paddlin’ at the hands of the headmaster.

Shepard Smith lets loose on Evil Empire Dude Bill Kristol in this video: MORE »

* Because what the New American Century really needs is some wife-beating nuke-dropping hard asses. Er, rather, more of them. [Crooks and Liars]
* Café Milano and a red carpet do not a celebrity make. Still, it’s good to see the Fox heads acting like a family, it even looks like Shep and Laurie Dhue have the same botox practitioner. [Fox News]
* When Duke Cunningham gets hookers, he only wants the best, and to be the best, ladies, you got to have these. The alarm feature is also good to distract the Federal agents who just busted into the room while you climb out the window. [Fleshbot]

While we’re waiting for the Tony Snow press conference to start, you can watch Snow’s former coworker Shepard Smith, despondent over being passed over for the White House gig, wandering, unloved and depressed, to the Hoover Dam, where, in a final humiliation, he… well, just watch:

In yesterday’s guessing game, we asked you for guesses on two blind items: MORE »

A reader alerts us to IMDB’s recapitulation of a Houston Voice item: “The gay-oriented Houston Voice has ‘outed’ CNN’s Anderson Cooper and Fox News Channel’s Shepard Smith.” We think the scare quotes are there because it’s not really “news.” Seriously: The evidence for Coop is that he once dodged a question about being gay. Well, sure, that, uhm, nails it. MORE »

With only a bunch of boring nobodies who might as well be straight spilling their same-sex longings on National Coming Out Day last week, Washington Blade editor Kevin Naff is pointing his finger at a few celebrity candidates, including:

Shepard Smith, who hosts a popular program on Fox News and received widespread praise for his work covering Hurricane Katrina

Salon has created a highlight reel of television news’s Incredible Reappearing Backbone, from Anderson Cooper bitchslapping Mary Landrieu to Tim Russert waving reports in Michael Chertoff’s face. We’re really glad someone did this, not just because it’s both heartening and hilarious but because we worry that in three months no one will remember it happened, especially not the journalists. MORE »

Jack Shafer, now using meth instead of writing about it, files on how TV correspondents went from wet, whipped thrill seekers to Murrow-style advocates over the course of week. We noticed, too; such evolution happens when you’re reporting on a situation that you’re living. The government counted on that response when it embedded reporters in Afghanistan and Iraq. Not so sure anyone saw it coming this time. Sean Hannity sure didn’t. Last night, interviewing Geraldo Rivera and Shepard Smith in New Orleans from the comfort and safety of his studio, he responded to their descriptions of the still very desperate situation with a call for “perspective.” Replied Smith: “This is perspective!” MORE »

Don’t you love how tragedy brings out the best in not just people, but in reporters, too?

SHEPARD SMITH: You’re live on FOX News Channel, what are you doing? MORE »