Here is a sad tune by D.C. resident Rachel Keller called “I Got Dumped For Obama,” and it’s steaming up the YouTubes at this very minute. She tells Politico’s Anne Schroeder Mullins that it is based on real life: she was dating A Boy who spent all of his time volunteering for the Obama campaign, when she just wanted to kiss and watch movies and so forth. You know, “dates.” So they broke up and now he just jerks off to his neo-commie “Change” paintings all day, the end. [Shenanigans]

Here is a ballot from Pennsylvania. If this is a true thing — it comes from popular libtard discussion board Democratic Underground, so who the hell knows — then Hillary Clinton will for sure win this particular county. Good work, Hilz! And there are other “voting irregularities,” too! MORE »

*HE ONLY GOT THIS BECAUSE HIS WIFE MESSED AROUND:* In a last-minute change, Chris “Tweety” Matthews has been enlisted to replace patriot Tony Snow as emcee at tonight’s Washington Press Club Foundation Dinner. Is it too late to ask for some Wonkette tickets? Hopefully Matthews’ Chinese Bus won’t be get in an accident on the way over when Southern-speaking Obama Boners clog up I-395. [Shenanigans]