Tag Archives: shell oil

  Sounds Like Heresy To Us

Shell Oil CEO Believes In Global Warming Because He Is A Dirty Hippie Obviously

He's secretly sick of that shade of yellow
This should be fun for Fox News to explain away: The CEO of Royal Dutch Shell, Ben van Beurden, said at an energy industry conference in London that climate change is real and that a system of pricing carbon would be the best way to start reducing CO2 emissions. It’s almost as if the guy were some kind of radical leftist who hates prosperity! Read more on Shell Oil CEO Believes In Global Warming Because He Is A Dirty Hippie Obviously…
  Two Live Crude

Shell To Pay Nigeria $83.5 Million For Oil Spills, Instead Of Original $6000 Offer (Not A Typo)

You now have the Narwhal Song going through your head. You are welcome.
This post supported by a grant from the Patty Dumpling Endowed Chair for coverage of Oil Spills, Oil Drilling, Oil Corruption, and Pathetic Compensation Offers From Oil Companies. Here’s a sort-of Nice Time story. Royal Dutch Shell, the international giant that makes life better all over the world by keeping us safe from marauding polar bears and painful sunburns that might result from going to clean beaches, has agreed to pay out £55 million (about $83.5 million) to a Nigerian fishing community that it pretty much made uninhabitable with two huge oil spills in 2008: Read more on Shell To Pay Nigeria $83.5 Million For Oil Spills, Instead Of Original $6000 Offer (Not A Typo)…
  drill baby drill

Shell Oil Apparently Has Not Yet Learned What ‘The Internet’ Is For

Hello, Shell Oil! Have you fired your social media guru yet, or the ad agency that came up with the idea of crowdsourcing Shell’s Let’s Go! Arctic campaign? Did it at least occur to you to borrow an RNC intern to scoop out all the “cunts” and “fucks” and whatnot before posting them on your Let’s Go! Arctic site? What about all the ads about the polar bears you are murdering? Do you think Coca-Cola might have something to say about that? thanked the YesMen for their beautiful tribute to you? Let us look, together, at what these terrible Internet hooligans have wrought on poor Shell Oil. Here are some images from just the first page of Shell’s the YesMen’s Let’s Go! Arctic campaign site, where terrible hippies have taken to their keyboards to mock poor Shell (MOCK THEM!) for their great environmentalism. UPDATE! Yes, it’s the YesMen. Read more on Shell Oil Apparently Has Not Yet Learned What ‘The Internet’ Is For…
  Capitalism is for Poors

Pennsylvania Governor Gives Taxpayers Opportunity To Donate To Shell Oil

Let’s check in on those laboratories of democracy and see what they’re up to, shall we? Restricting abortion access, perhaps? Passing laws against climate change maybe? Or taking some time off of hating women and science to hate immigrants and college students for a change of pace? Oh, here’s a new one: Tom Corbett, governor of Pennsylvania, is creating a Keystone Opportunity Zone in which Shell Oil will have the Opportunity to not pay any taxes on a plant that will manufacture “a range of plastic products” (like those pictured left), the taxpayers will have the Opportunity to pay for toxic waste cleanup, the community will have the Opportunity to breathe (perfectly EPA-compliant) poisonous air, and teachers and firefighters have the Opportunity to find new jobs! Opportunities for everyone! And on top of it, a plant that makes plastics, which as we know, is what the FUTURE is made of. Read more on Pennsylvania Governor Gives Taxpayers Opportunity To Donate To Shell Oil…