Tag Archives: sharia law

  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: There’s Sharia Creepin’ All Over Wonkette!

Newsweek's gift to posterity
For a mommyblog and recipe hub that doesn’t allow comments, Yr Wonkette sure got a lot of crazy ones on our story about Friday’s Great Big Free-Speech-n-Guns Rally Against Islam in Phoenix. Our favorite was from “Elizabeth,” who explained that since we were making fun of a bunch of hate-filled goons with guns, we had obviously been blinded to the true nature of Islam, because those Muslims just lie all the time: Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: There’s Sharia Creepin’ All Over Wonkette!…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: Welcome To The Cesspool Of Filth

No, *you're* the most basic of jokes.
It’s been a quiet week in the old deleted comments queue; we somehow managed not to trigger any long manifestos from wingnuts about sovereignty or the UN Agenda 21 plot to pollute and impurify our precious bodily fluids. We’ll try harder. We did get one notable tsk-tsk about our terrible conduct from “TheLongVersion,” who was not at all pleased with all the cruelty directed toward poor innocent George Zimmerman, who once again found himself in trouble last week: Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: Welcome To The Cesspool Of Filth…
  Let's gossip about the week that was!

It’s Sunday Funday At The Wonkette, Let’s Drink Mimosas And Judge People

It's the best day of the week!
Hola, Wonkers, we hope that your Sunday is treating you well. Pull up a chair, for we must now gossip about all the hilarious and CONTROVERSIAL stories that you clicked on the most this week! We thought you would all be super-excited about Marco Rubio running for president, but none of those stories made the top 10, :(. Guess Rubio will never be president now. Also never being President? Hillary Clinton, because none of her stories made the top 10 either! It’s all yours, Rand Paul! Read more on It’s Sunday Funday At The Wonkette, Let’s Drink Mimosas And Judge People…
  Rarely Is It Asked: Is Our State Legislators Learning?

SC Republican Just Wants Judges To Pass Religious Test, What’s Wrong With That?

He has a gun, let's vote for him!
South Carolina state Rep. Jonathon Hill is just an inquisitive guy who wants to be well-informed about state judicial candidates. That’s the only reason he sent a questionnaire just crawling with completely unconstitutional questions to candidates for judgeships. In South Carolina, judges are elected by state legislators, so Hill, a bright young conservative who is 29 years old, thought he’d look into some important questions to help him decide who belongs on the bench. Here are a few things he wanted to know: Read more on SC Republican Just Wants Judges To Pass Religious Test, What’s Wrong With That?…
  Sincerely held historical 'beliefs'

Oklahoma Just Wants To Protect Hobby Lobby’s Right To Teach Your Kids ‘Bout Jesus, No Big

Time for another history lesson
From the very same state that brought us the unconstitutional law to ban even the whispered mention of Sharia comes a shiny new bill to protect Hobby Lobby’s right to teach your kids about Jesus, America’s greatest founding father. Read more on Oklahoma Just Wants To Protect Hobby Lobby’s Right To Teach Your Kids ‘Bout Jesus, No Big…
  i renounced and denounced your mom last night

Green Bay Alderman Will Listen To Citizen Just As Soon As She Isn’t A Terrorist

A nice lady in Green Bay, Wisconsin, wrote her alderman, because she is a good citizen. “Hey,” she wrote, “howsabout some free bus service on Election Day for the poors and democracy and suchlike?” But she wrote it classier because she is not Yr Wonkette. “Sure,” Chris Wery responded, “just as soon as you, A Muslim, denounce and renounce Sharia law and Hamas.” Well, um, hrmmmm? Read more on Green Bay Alderman Will Listen To Citizen Just As Soon As She Isn’t A Terrorist…
  Another Hotbed Of Extremism (We Mean Breitbart)

Dead Breitbart Outraged Muslims Helped Rebuild Oklahoma After Tornado

Muslim sharks will behead you!
Hey, just how paranoid and crazy is Dead Breitbart today? Well, howzabout this here headline? WHITE HOUSE SENDS ‘THANK YOU’ TO BEHEADER’S OKLAHOMA MOSQUE CONGREGATION Good gracious gravy, why is the White House praising the nest of vipers that spawned Oklahoma beheader man Alton Nolen? After all, as all right-wingers know, Nolen singlehandedly brought Jihad to America a couple weeks back when he cut off a woman’s head in a horrible murder, even though the local DA continues to think, wrongly of course, that Nolen was more motivated by being fired for being a racist than by his religion — probably because, as everyone knows, Oklahoma prosecutors are so notoriously PC. Read more on Dead Breitbart Outraged Muslims Helped Rebuild Oklahoma After Tornado…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Day: Why Aren’t You Cowards Afraid Of Muslims Like You Should Be?

Just try to keep the Yaks happy
Time for another visit to the ol’ comment queue, where we find that our coverage of the Scary Muslim Beheading In Oklahoma really set off this one person going by the username”Karolthekafir,” who appears to be inordinately fond of limes. Over the space of a couple days, karolthekafir left just under 20 comments on the one story, and they shared a certain… predictability after a while. Here’s one of karol’s first efforts to educate us poor benighted liberals to the need for immediate panic: Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Day: Why Aren’t You Cowards Afraid Of Muslims Like You Should Be?…
  now for something really cheerful

Iraqi Jerks Will Cut Off Your Clitoris, For Whatever The Islamic Version Of Jesus Is

#451607616 / gettyimages.com You may have noticed that, apart from the supremely idiotic thoughts of the people who got America into Iraq in the first place, we haven’t been covering the terrible situation in that country much, because there is absolutely zero that’s funny about it. And there’s even less to laugh at in this latest development: The United Nations says that in Mosul, ISIS has ordered all women and girls between the ages of 11 and 45 to undergo female genital mutilation. We hope the Hobby Lobby folks don’t get any ideas. Read more on Iraqi Jerks Will Cut Off Your Clitoris, For Whatever The Islamic Version Of Jesus Is…
  the surrey with the lunatic fringe on top

Muslim Attorney Fees Is Small Price For Oklahoma To Pay For Really Really Hating Muslims

Hey, you know how Oklahoma had that big Creeping Sharia Law scare a few years back, and passed a law banning Sharia Law in the great state of Oklahoma, so that they’d be safe from a takeover by scary Sharia-ists and their weird practices, like rigid gender roles, oppression of women, and strict adherence to bullshit religious dogma, only the wrong kind of bullshit religious dogma? And then they lost, hard, when the law was declared unconstitutional, as pretty much everybody knew it would be when the stupid thing passed? You guys remember all that. Guess what? The bill’s due. Read more on Muslim Attorney Fees Is Small Price For Oklahoma To Pay For Really Really Hating Muslims…
  even more serious than halal soup

Sultan Of Brunei Getting His Sharia All Over Your Hotel Towels

So, it turns out that there are two kinds of “sharia law.” One is the kind that teabaggers and paranoids think is sneaking into all the schools because some 11th-graders in a language club said the Pledge of Allegiance in Arabic. You know, the completely imaginary kind. The other is the actual system of Islamic law that is actually really kind of strict and terrible and is practiced by reactionary tyrants because one eternal truth of politics is that you can always get away with authoritarianism if you slather it with enough godspittle. Take, for instance the Sultan of Brunei (please!), who announced last year that he would convert his oil-rich monarchy to Full Sharia Nastiness, complete with flogging, dismemberments, and stonings. Now, this may come as a surprise to American wingnuts, but while your basic progressive laughs at paranoia over imaginary creeping Sharia, that same progressive is pretty likely to not be a fan of the real thing, which is not friendly to women or to human rights. (This does not make us “hypocrites” so much as it makes us “capable of distinguishing real bad things from paranoid delusions.”) And so, as a means of protesting the imposition of real Sharia in Brunei, your Hollywood types are boycotting the Sultan’s real estate holdings, like for instance hotels owned by the Dorchester Collection, such as the Beverly Hills Hotel and the Hotel Bel-Air, and which is why we have headed this post with Sir Patrick Lobsterboy Stewart, who just a short while ago tweeted, “Absolutely delighted to learn that @20thcenturyfox has moved #XMen out of a Dorchester Group hotel for our London premiere.” We agree with Captain Jean-Luc Xavier, and frankly would get behind economic sanctions against Brunei, too. (As to whether lobsters themselves are halal or haram, we really don’t care.) Read more on Sultan Of Brunei Getting His Sharia All Over Your Hotel Towels…
  the golden state of derp

However Will California GOP Choose Between Goldman Sachs Lickspittle And Tea Party Xenophobe?

Out here in California we are locked in a tepid political battle being waged by various brigands, crooks and llama-blowing weirdos for the right to get crushed by incumbent Democrat Jerry Brown in this November’s gubernatorial election. Former Wonkette writer/office concubine Jim Newell recently used his lofty new perch at Salon to take a look at one candidate, a loathsome pile of crap named Neel Kashkari, and found much of what we found when we looked at the guy back in January: the chrome-domed Arnold Vosloo lookalike has some serious baggage. Aside from never having held public office, Kashkari is a former Goldman Sachs investment banker and Hank Paulson acolyte who worked for the Treasury Department as the head of TARP, spending a good chunk of 2008 and 2009 tossing piles of taxpayer money to every Armani-clad Wall Street banker who batted his eyes in Kashkari’s direction. Elizabeth Warren disparaged him in her recent memoir, and if Elizabeth Warren says you’re a prevaricating douche nozzle, the truth is probably even worse. So it would take a heroic effort by another candidate to make a spackle-brained rich boy like Kashkari look almost principled and sympathetic. Oh hi, Tim Donnelly, your ears must be burning! Read more on However Will California GOP Choose Between Goldman Sachs Lickspittle And Tea Party Xenophobe?…
  sharia no longer creeping; now does backstroke

Fox & Friends Will Not Let Muslim Girls’ Swim Class Destroy America With Aquatic Sharia

Here is Fox & Friends’ Heather Nauert on the teevee yesterday, explaining how “sharia law” is taking over, because a YMCA in Minneapolis-St. Paul is going to hold a girls-only swim class one hour a week, providing Somali refugee girls the chance to learn to swim. BUT! Since men won’t be allowed in the pool area and the only lifeguards and instructors will be women, this is obviously evidence of, as Nauert puts it, “the minority becoming the majority at one community pool. Sharia law is now changing everything.” Oh, mercy — what do you want to bet that during that hour of swimming classes, they’re going to learn underwater bomb-making, too! Because in Fox Math, a class for girls aged 5 to 17 is now, somehow, the tyrannic “majority.” Read more on Fox & Friends Will Not Let Muslim Girls’ Swim Class Destroy America With Aquatic Sharia…
  all the derp that's fit to herp

Derp Roundup: Your Weekend Mixtape Of Rightwing Noise

Here we are with another collection of stories that are too stoopid to ignore altogether but that we just couldn’t bring ourselves to waste a full-length post on. Think of it as the Arby-Q of Wonkette posts. Let’s start with the latest from longtime Wonket pal Larry Klayman, who was at it again last week with yet another call for a military coup against Barack HUSSEIN Obama, saying it’s time to “Occupy Washington” to cleanse the nation of the half-Muslim, anti-white, socialist fraud in the White House before the nation goes under for the final count. You, know, the usual: Benghazi, Fast-n-Furious, the “betrayal” of Seal Team 6, and so on. Klayman has given up on the courts (they won’t see the light and declare the birf certificate a fraud) and Congress (they’ll never impeach), but happily, he’s set up his own “citizens’ grand juries” (you know they’re serious, ’cause they have a website) that are on the verge of finding Obama and other traitors guilty of Big Crimes. Once those convictions come down, Klayman doubts that Obama will “surrender himself to the people’s system of justice for incarceration,” so he’s calling on “all American patriots, once we obtain this conviction, which we will shortly, to converge on Washington”: Millions should stand in front of the White House and other national treasures and demand that Barack Hussein Obama leave. If the Egyptians can do this with regard to another radical Muslim, former president Mohamed Morsi of the Muslim Brotherhood, then can’t we Americans do it with Obama? And, when we do converge on and “Occupy Washington” in the millions on a date to be announced for the week before Thanksgiving, the people may think about chanting: “Mr. President (to use the term loosely), put the Quran down, get up off your knees and come out with your hands up!” We really have to remember to check back in November when THAT happens. Read more on Derp Roundup: Your Weekend Mixtape Of Rightwing Noise…
  hindus buddhists and other muslims

What’s Bringing On The Apocalypse This Week? How About Immigration Reform?

Just in case plain old hating Messicans wasn’t enough reason to oppose immigration reform, Texas wingnut extraordinaire Cathie Adams, the former state GOP chair and current president of Texas Schlafly Rangers Eagle Forum, has found a new reason: on something called “End Times Radio” last week, she explained that the Senate’s immigration bill legislates the Mark of the Beast, and will bring about the End Times. Leaving aside the question of why that’s something Christianists want to delay — after all, it will get Jebus back here sooner — it feels like wingnuts are finding impending signs of the Apocalypse about as often as the House votes to kill Obamacare (which may or may not require you to have an RFID chip implanted in your butt, too). Read more on What’s Bringing On The Apocalypse This Week? How About Immigration Reform?…
  just give us your freedoms for safekeeping

Move Over Texas And Arizoney, North Carolina Legislature Is In It To Win It

Folks in North Carolina have a funny way of celebrating freedom this Fourth of July. While many folks around this great land are canceling fireworks displays because of freedom-loving sequestration, North Carolina legislators are working on a bill to give women the freedom to not worry about control of their bodies! Don’t worry your pink-shoe-wearing selves, little ladies, the menfolk of the GOP legislature will take care of those decisions for you: A bill restricting abortions that popped up in the state Senate without public notice Tuesday evening and received swift approval would force clinics to meet expensive license requirements and make it more difficult for doctors to perform the procedures. Apparently they saw the ruckus caused by participatory democracy happening in Texas and figured that the best course of action would be to cram a bill through in the dead of night so that women-folk (and supportive men-folk, because WE COUNT TOO) wouldn’t have time to organize against it. Let’s explore other ways that the North Carolina legislature is seeking to undermine democracy in the name of freedom!  Read more on Move Over Texas And Arizoney, North Carolina Legislature Is In It To Win It…
  fear of a mopped planet

Tennessee Narrowly Escapes Sharia Scourge of Clean Feet

Tennessee legislators were worried that the new porcelain fixture in a corner of a remodeled Capitol restroom might splash Sharia Law all over them, but building managers were quick to reassure them that it was merely a mop sink. As we all know, Muslim footbaths threaten America’s social fabric (actual headline), so you just can’t be too careful about these things! Read more on Tennessee Narrowly Escapes Sharia Scourge of Clean Feet…
  love it or leave it

Alabama Fella Pretty Much Started Petition ‘Cause Fascist Gubmint Shut Down His Nudie Carwash

Lots of red-blooded US Merkins love America so much they want to LEAVE IT (because Kenyan Mooslim Sharia Oppression and such). But one such patriot is a little more interesting! Sup, guy who started Alabama’s secession petition Derrick Belcher, 45, of “Chuncula”? “Blah blah libertarianism, RON PAUL!!!1!, freedom, not-racist, hard-working, etc.” Oh yes, here it is: “It’s economics -– just that simple,” he said. “I’m working poor. And I work -– I’ve never taken a dime from the government. I’ll starve before I take a handout. That’s what being a true American is all about.” Belcher blamed the government for shutting down his former business. Belcher said his Euro Details car wash, which featured topless women, was successful for a decade on Halls Mill Road in Mobile. But he said he was arrested and charged with obscenity by city officials in 2001. “The government ripped my business away, and now they’re choking America to death with rules and regulations,” he said. Read more on Alabama Fella Pretty Much Started Petition ‘Cause Fascist Gubmint Shut Down His Nudie Carwash…
  flying too close to the molten pits of hell

Tennessee Lege Can’t Wait to Vote for Bill Exiling Immigrant Teachers

Tennessee! Tennessee’s latest contribution to the world is a bill by a group that invokes the soaring noble bird hero of America, the eagle, in order to keep things nice and white and Christian around here. This time, because unfortunately there have been previous times, this awful group wants to limit the number of foreign-born teachers that the state can employ, as well as the number of textbooks that the heinous organization “sees as favorable to Islam.” The heinous organization is called THE TENNESSEE EAGLE FORUM. These eagle people know what is best for us all, with their big proverbial wings and deadly beaks and great eyesight. And so no one, not even any Democrats, it seems, is that worried about this bill, which is being discussed this week. Read more on Tennessee Lege Can’t Wait to Vote for Bill Exiling Immigrant Teachers…
  duh moments

Court Strikes Down Oklahoma’s Sinister Ban of Sharia Law

Oklahoma’s 10th Circuit Court of Appeals struck down Oklahoma’s proposed amendment to ban the use of Sharia law in the state Tuesday, helping to catapult this evil maneuver into oblivion. The court’s ruling upheld a lower court’s 2011 decision to block the amendment, which received 70 percent support when it was passed in a 2010 referendum. The amendment was essentially an Islamophobic attempt to define what it means to live in America. Muneer Awad, a community leader in Oklahoma, filed a suit in response to the amendment, saying that if passed, it “would affect every aspect of his life, including his will and testament.” Read more on Court Strikes Down Oklahoma’s Sinister Ban of Sharia Law…
  no country for old bigots

Islamophobe Nuts Decry Sharia Takeover of Nashville Hotel

The vicious professional Muslim-haters of the anti-religious freedom organization “Preserving Freedom Conference” were all set to make their pretty pennies holding a sweaty, paranoid circle jerk for Islamo-fear fetishists at the Hutton Hotel in Nashville, but the mean venue owners canceled their booking contract after they realized it might be bad for business to be seen hosting a gathering of feverish bigots. This, of course, can mean only one thing: BLAME THE SHARIA WITCH MAGIC, and organizers promptly declared the hotel under the spell of Allah’s oppressor demons.  Read more on Islamophobe Nuts Decry Sharia Takeover of Nashville Hotel…
  freedom is only freedom when it is used to oppress others

Herman Cain: First Amendment Says Muslims Not Allowed To Build Mosques

According to Herman Cain’s latest terrorismism reports from Tennessee, he can safely tell us that whatever the Mooslims over there are up to these days, it is “not innocent.” Tennessee is practically Afghanistan, is how bad things have gotten, which means that it is full of poor, mostly illiterate people ruled by intolerant religious fanatics and opium meth addiction. So because of this, the jihadists hiding out there want to build another mosque, a request legally known as “rape of the First Amendment,” because free exercise of religion is magically its total opposite whenever a Muslim practices it.  Read more on Herman Cain: First Amendment Says Muslims Not Allowed To Build Mosques…